On the way to the station a song came on and I couldn't help but listen to the lyrics.
Lie in the dark
I know your awake
The only sounds are the sounds this old house makes
oh how I long, I long to hear your voice
Just last night laying with Steph I could tell she was thinking about him. I don't know what to do.
Desprate to talk yearning to touch
burning inside cause I want you so much
So I say I need you
And leave you no choice.
I asked her what was wrong. She just brushed it off and said nothings wrong.
You lie you don't wanna hurt me
So you lie buy a little time
I go along what else can I do
Maybe its wrong
But you know how much I love you
So you lie till you can find a way to say good bye
I know she loves me but I don't think its as much as she loves him. But I can't let her go. I know she will eventually leave me. Just like I know that if he offered her something more, she would be gone.
How long until you just can't go on
and the urge to break loose is just to strong
you should have let go if that's what you want to do
But you don't know if it's the right thing to do
So you lie you don't want to hurt me
I know he loves her. I see the way he looks at her, the way he is always there for her.
Listening to the song I come to a conclusion. I turn around and head towards Hayward.
I ask one of the guys to speak to Ranger. They escort me to his office.
" Listen Ranger do you love her?" I ask him.
He looks at me with that damn blank face of his saying nothing. So I go on " Look I know she loves you more than me. I can't do this anymore. So if you love her tell her so she can quit lying and feeling guilty. She lays there at night thinking about you and I can see it in her face when she thinks I'm not paying attention. Just admit that you need her and stop hurting her and me, hell even you."
His blank mask has slipped just a little and I can see love for her and shock that I have come to him. He sits there for a minute before he says anything to me.
" What made you come here to me? Why are you willing to give up?" he asks.
And all I can tell him was " It was a song".