Gravel and Dust
Chapter One
Bright warm summer daylight met the apprentice's eyes when she awoke. All was still around her as she lay on her side. She felt lightheaded, as if a dream had filled her with warmth and was slow to leave her waking mind. But she could not recall it, none of it. So she lay there with her eyes open, gazing ahead.
She took a shallow breath. The effort of breathing in brought some pain to her chest and she cut the breath short. Slowly she exhaled. No pain for this effort.
There were trees in full leaf off in the distance. A great deal of open green tall summergrass lay between her and them. She watched the tree tops gently sway in the breeze although here where she lay it was completely still. It was peaceful to lie here and look at them. The warmth of the sun on her pelt felt good.
A worry crossed her mind and with it came a line of pain. It started somewhere back near her ear, the one beneath her head as she lay on the ground, and arced over her little forehead and came to a point just above her eye. Where was she? This was not the clan's camp... that would be out in the field, amidst the grasses. So where was she now and why should she be waking up here?
As much as this should have alarmed her, it didn't. If anything she was overwhelmed with a continued sense of calm. She lay there, still on her side, pondering this when it became necessary to attempt a second breath. It took a conscious effort but she breathed in. And again a pain burned in her chest. The pain rose quickly as she continued the attempt to breathe. She simply couldn't continue, so she let the effort ebb and in a short while she let back out the partial breath. The line of pain above her eye continued to sting and began to rise in strength until she had to squint in order to keep the eye open.
It occurred to her that there was still no sound. Nothing. No sound of the breeze. No sound of the roadway. No sound of birds nor any of the myriad of insects that live in the grasses of her home. The quiet was complete and although it was peaceful, yes, it was not right. The roadway always made the noise of the great creatures that blasted along its length. The buzz of the dragonflies, bees and flies should be audible at this time of day. The sound of the breeze, even if gentle, moving the grasses around her should be something she should pick up on. But there was nothing, no sound.
She wondered where her clanmates might be. Where was her mentor?
She wanted to breathe so she concentrated on this. But a third attempt only brought a stronger rush of pain from somewhere in her chest. Again she gave up long before she could pull in much air. The first alarm of panic started to rise in her mind. "What's going on?" she thought. She tried again, hard. She expanded her stomach muscles so as to pull in the breath but with the sudden effort there came no wind but instead a great scream of pain. It erupted again within her chest and she lurched in reaction to it. Her mouth opened in a cry of anguish but the strength of the pain froze her before any sound could be made.
Panic began to flood her mind. The arc of pain atop her head was yet stronger! Her eyes grew wide and she wanted to bolt. She needed to rush into the grasses, find her mentor, maybe find the clan medicine cat, maybe find a drink, maybe find a place out of the sun, maybe... But she wasn't moving. She couldn't. She was lying on her side still looking out across the grassland towards the trees in the distance.
With the panic came the need to breathe. But the only way she found she could breathe was by using frequent short breaths. Anything stronger than a brief inhale brought an eruption of the pain within her chest. She wanted to flee. "Move," she commanded herself, "Move!" But all the happened was ... nothing. She flung out a paw in front of herself to get herself going. Or that was the intention. But no paw moved. Her leg didn't even twitch. Instead she felt another wave of calm swim over her and her panic mixed with exhaustion.
"Mommy! She's still alive!"
Sarah had burst from her car door as soon as she could. Margaret cut the engine and turned to see her daughter racing back along the roadway. She called out "No honey, be careful!" She pulled the keys from the ignition and opened the door on her side. A small truck roared by and the blast of wind tried to blow the door back at her. With renewed effort she pushed the car door open and took off after her eleven year old daughter.
Sarah was standing overtop the cat. It was in on piece ... "Thank God," Margaret thought. And no blood. "Don't touch it Sarah," she commanded. But Sarah was already down on her knees, getting the roadside dust and gravel into her dance tights. She put out one hand to the cat and stroked it along its length. It didn't move. It's eyes were open but the little cat wasn't moving. "Honey, please," Margaret said arriving now next to the poor little thing, "Please don't touch it." But Sarah turned with tears bursting from her eyes "Mommmm, it didn't mean to run out in front of us. It looked so scared." The sound of the thump, that awful thump, was a memory both mother and daughter were still living.
It had happened in a blink of an eye: an routine drive home from afternoon dance class interrupted by a sharp swerve as two cats had raced out of the roadside grasses and right into their lane. There had been too little time to react. One cat had disappeared off the far side of the roadway and was gone. The other... the thump .. and now this.
Sarah turned and buried her face in her mother's warmth. "It's going to die mommmmy! We killed it," and the cloudburst of tears exploded from her.
Margaret struggled over what to do. She pulled her daughter up and forced her back towards the car. Taking a mental inventory of what she had with them she reached for her keys and used them to pop open the car's trunk. Hurriedly she pulled a out a beach blanket and pushed it into Sarah's hands. "Here, take this to her. Place it over her but don't move her." This gave Sarah something to do. The tears stopped - a little - and she ran back to the quiet young she-cat, still lying motionless beside the road.