A Night With Rufus & The Turks
By: Deekz
Disclaimer: I don't own Squaresoft. Or Final Fantasy VII. Or any other of the Final
Fantasies. And I don't the FF7 characters either, although it would be nice to... *smiles evilly*
Deekz: *bursts through the door* HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII EVERYBODY!
Reno: AHHHH! NOT SO LOUD!
Deekz: Sowwy.
Reno: Feh...still have 49 to go! *starts drinking his beer again*
Deekz: oo; *pokes Rude* HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Rude: ...you're interrupting my quiet time...
Deekz: ...
Rude: ...
Deekz: ...
Rude: ...
Deekz: ...
Rude: ...
Deekz: ...
Rude: ...
Deekz: *breaks down crying* WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Rude: Did I do something wrong?
Rufus: If you live with her, anything can happen...
Deekz: *stops crying* *throws a boot at Rufus's head*
Rufus: OW! What was that for?
Deekz: Pass it on.
Rufus: Oh... *throws the boot at Tseng*
Tseng: HEY!
Rufus: Pass it on.
Tseng: *shrugs* *throws it at Elena*
Elena: OW! *smacks Tseng*
Tseng: OW! Pass it on!
Elena: *stares at Reno, then his beer* *grins* *throws the boot straight at the beer*
Reno: Okay, who the hell just did that?
Everybody: *point at Elena*
Elena: OO; Pass it on!
Reno: ...fine! *throws it at Rude*
Rude: *gets hit in the windpipe* *dies*
Everybody: OO;
Deekz: Do you think he's okay? *staring at Rude* oo; *pokes him with a stick*
Rufus: Gee, whaddya think?
Deekz: I think he's fine.
Rufus: My GOD you are stupid.
Deekz: Feh. I'm stupid, smart, and insane at the same time.
Rufus: How's that possible?
Deekz: I have fairy dust.
Everybody: Oo;;;;;;;
Tseng: Uh, I think we should revive Rude, though...
Deekz: Good idea. I CALL UPON THE LIFESTREAM TO REVIVE RUDE!
*nothing happens*
Deekz: Er... I CALL UPON THE LIFESTREAM TO REVIVE RUDE!
*sadly, nothing happens again*
Deekz: ~.~ *throws a mailbox out the window*
Elena: Hey, that was mine!
Deekz: Sowwy.
Elena: *walks out the door* Now where did he throw it...? *sees a golden- colored chocobo coming
her way* oO;; What could that be?
Chocobo: WARKKKKKKKK! *tramples Elena*
Elena: GRRR! *gets back up and waves her fist* I'll get you back!
Cloud: AHHHH! GOLDY! COME BACK! *rushes by*
Elena: O...kay... *finally finds her mailbox* *picks it up*
Mailbox: Who dares to pick me up? *opens up its flap, revealing several razor-sharp envelopes*
Elena: OO; What the hell...?
Mailbox: ...I said, WHO DARES TO PICK ME UP?!
Elena: You didn't do this when Deekz picked you up.
Mailbox: Because Deekz and stupid and you're not.
Elena: So you mean only stupid people can pick you up?
Mailbox: That's right. Stupid people are smart and smart people are dumb.
Elena: That doesn't make sense.
Mailbox: Well, nevermind that, PUT ME DOWN!
Elena: No! You're MY mailbox and you're coming with me!
Mailbox: *starts shaking and turns red*
Elena: Uh-oh... *runs into Deekz's house and locks all of the doors*
Deekz: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ELENA!
Elena: I think that mailbox has some problems...
Deekz: WE REVIVEDDDDDDDD RUDEEEEEEEE!
Elena: Geez! Do you always have to be that loud?
Deekz: YESSSSSSSSS!
Rude: ...you're interrupting my quiet time, AGAIN...
Deekz: ...
Rude: I'm not going through this again... oO;;
*suddenly the door flies open*
Mailbox: YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT, FOOLISH SMART PERSON!
Elena: EEEEEEP!
Mailbox: *begins firing* DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Deekz: AHHHHHHH! DUCK FOR COVERRRRRR!
Everybody: *dive behind couches*
Elena: Hey, the Mailbox said that you were stupid.
Deekz: Why, thank you.
Everybody: oO;;
Reno: What's she smoking?
Rufus: Lots of stuff, I guess.
Deekz: Yep. Plus a couple of sugar rushes.
Tseng: That's not good for a person you age.
Deekz: I'm stupid.
Reno: Well isn't that nice to know?
Deekz: Uh-huh. In fact, I don't even know what I'm writing about in this. You see, it has no
plot!
Reno: You mean this is all a fanfic?
Deekz: Yes. I control you...bwahahahahahahahahahahaha...
Rude: ...I see dead people...they're all around us...
Everybody: oo;
Deekz: Erm... *erases the Mailbox* *it disappears* You see? No more Mailbox!
Rufus: Can you get rid of Elena, too?
Deekz: Uh...okay... *erases Elena*
Rufus: Thanks.
*And they live happily ever after...*
A/N: Okay. This is probably more on the stupid side then the humor side. Not even funny. I
was just BORED, REALLY BORED when I wrote this. Flame me all you want. I won't care because I
know this fic isn't good oO; Unless, for some odd reason, you want me to continue it... oo;
By: Deekz
Disclaimer: I don't own Squaresoft. Or Final Fantasy VII. Or any other of the Final
Fantasies. And I don't the FF7 characters either, although it would be nice to... *smiles evilly*
Deekz: *bursts through the door* HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII EVERYBODY!
Reno: AHHHH! NOT SO LOUD!
Deekz: Sowwy.
Reno: Feh...still have 49 to go! *starts drinking his beer again*
Deekz: oo; *pokes Rude* HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Rude: ...you're interrupting my quiet time...
Deekz: ...
Rude: ...
Deekz: ...
Rude: ...
Deekz: ...
Rude: ...
Deekz: ...
Rude: ...
Deekz: *breaks down crying* WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Rude: Did I do something wrong?
Rufus: If you live with her, anything can happen...
Deekz: *stops crying* *throws a boot at Rufus's head*
Rufus: OW! What was that for?
Deekz: Pass it on.
Rufus: Oh... *throws the boot at Tseng*
Tseng: HEY!
Rufus: Pass it on.
Tseng: *shrugs* *throws it at Elena*
Elena: OW! *smacks Tseng*
Tseng: OW! Pass it on!
Elena: *stares at Reno, then his beer* *grins* *throws the boot straight at the beer*
Reno: Okay, who the hell just did that?
Everybody: *point at Elena*
Elena: OO; Pass it on!
Reno: ...fine! *throws it at Rude*
Rude: *gets hit in the windpipe* *dies*
Everybody: OO;
Deekz: Do you think he's okay? *staring at Rude* oo; *pokes him with a stick*
Rufus: Gee, whaddya think?
Deekz: I think he's fine.
Rufus: My GOD you are stupid.
Deekz: Feh. I'm stupid, smart, and insane at the same time.
Rufus: How's that possible?
Deekz: I have fairy dust.
Everybody: Oo;;;;;;;
Tseng: Uh, I think we should revive Rude, though...
Deekz: Good idea. I CALL UPON THE LIFESTREAM TO REVIVE RUDE!
*nothing happens*
Deekz: Er... I CALL UPON THE LIFESTREAM TO REVIVE RUDE!
*sadly, nothing happens again*
Deekz: ~.~ *throws a mailbox out the window*
Elena: Hey, that was mine!
Deekz: Sowwy.
Elena: *walks out the door* Now where did he throw it...? *sees a golden- colored chocobo coming
her way* oO;; What could that be?
Chocobo: WARKKKKKKKK! *tramples Elena*
Elena: GRRR! *gets back up and waves her fist* I'll get you back!
Cloud: AHHHH! GOLDY! COME BACK! *rushes by*
Elena: O...kay... *finally finds her mailbox* *picks it up*
Mailbox: Who dares to pick me up? *opens up its flap, revealing several razor-sharp envelopes*
Elena: OO; What the hell...?
Mailbox: ...I said, WHO DARES TO PICK ME UP?!
Elena: You didn't do this when Deekz picked you up.
Mailbox: Because Deekz and stupid and you're not.
Elena: So you mean only stupid people can pick you up?
Mailbox: That's right. Stupid people are smart and smart people are dumb.
Elena: That doesn't make sense.
Mailbox: Well, nevermind that, PUT ME DOWN!
Elena: No! You're MY mailbox and you're coming with me!
Mailbox: *starts shaking and turns red*
Elena: Uh-oh... *runs into Deekz's house and locks all of the doors*
Deekz: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ELENA!
Elena: I think that mailbox has some problems...
Deekz: WE REVIVEDDDDDDDD RUDEEEEEEEE!
Elena: Geez! Do you always have to be that loud?
Deekz: YESSSSSSSSS!
Rude: ...you're interrupting my quiet time, AGAIN...
Deekz: ...
Rude: I'm not going through this again... oO;;
*suddenly the door flies open*
Mailbox: YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT, FOOLISH SMART PERSON!
Elena: EEEEEEP!
Mailbox: *begins firing* DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Deekz: AHHHHHHH! DUCK FOR COVERRRRRR!
Everybody: *dive behind couches*
Elena: Hey, the Mailbox said that you were stupid.
Deekz: Why, thank you.
Everybody: oO;;
Reno: What's she smoking?
Rufus: Lots of stuff, I guess.
Deekz: Yep. Plus a couple of sugar rushes.
Tseng: That's not good for a person you age.
Deekz: I'm stupid.
Reno: Well isn't that nice to know?
Deekz: Uh-huh. In fact, I don't even know what I'm writing about in this. You see, it has no
plot!
Reno: You mean this is all a fanfic?
Deekz: Yes. I control you...bwahahahahahahahahahahaha...
Rude: ...I see dead people...they're all around us...
Everybody: oo;
Deekz: Erm... *erases the Mailbox* *it disappears* You see? No more Mailbox!
Rufus: Can you get rid of Elena, too?
Deekz: Uh...okay... *erases Elena*
Rufus: Thanks.
*And they live happily ever after...*
A/N: Okay. This is probably more on the stupid side then the humor side. Not even funny. I
was just BORED, REALLY BORED when I wrote this. Flame me all you want. I won't care because I
know this fic isn't good oO; Unless, for some odd reason, you want me to continue it... oo;