DISCLAIMER: I Own only the plot!! And a character or two.
SUMMARY: When Edward left Bella started writing songs hoping to get Edward's attention. She also has a life threatening secret that Carlisle knows of. Will Bella get the closure she desires before it's to late? More importantly how will he take the news of his love dying. Formerly known as I Can't Break It To My Heart.
AN: After much consideration I have re-written a number of chapters as I thought they were lame and I know I can do better. The plot has not been changed, only the way I have written everything. I hope you think this is better than the original. I know I do. Please review or PM and tell me what you think. Also all songs mention in this fic are real songs. In this chapter all the songs mentioned are by the fabulous Delta Goodrem and I take no credit for her work. Happy reading!!
Chapter 1
BPOV.
It's been over a year since my disastrous 18th birthday and since I found out the news that has changed my life forever.
Two weeks after he left I was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia. As a personal request I had my doctor at the time to contact none other than Dr. Carlisle Cullen to help with my treatments. He has been wonderful. Keeping my secret from his family and making many trips to Forks for my chemo and radiation therapy.
During the third month of my treatment I was affected by renal failure. At first the doctors were worried I wouldn't make it but I was extremely lucky to have been found a match for a kidney transplant. Carlisle stayed in Forks until I was released from hospital a month after my downfall, even though he had a hard time trying to convince rest of his family that he was going to be staying in 'Seattle' for a 'medical conference'.
In February, two weeks after I was released from hospital the hole that has been punched through my chest seemed to ripping it self open more and more everyday because I yearned for my love to help me through this. I was constantly fighting with myself to ask Carlisle to call and tell him about my illness but then I would remember that he no longer loves me.
The song writing started when I was supposed to be on bed rest. Charlie was at the station so I decided to look around the spare bedroom, which we use for storage, to see what I could find. That's when I noticed Grandma Swan's piano. It was hidden under an old sheet in the corner behind a pile of boxes. That's when it hit me. If I wanted him to know that I need him more than ever, then I needed to communicate this message somehow, so I started writing songs. I hadn't played the piano since Nana Beth died when I was twelve so I was a bit rusty. At first I nearly gave up because the piano reminded me of you-know-who and it hurt an insuperable amount, but when I am actually singing my songs it's like some kind of release where I am in my own world, where I can forget about the cancer and I can forget about the hole in my chest where my heart used to be.
In May Susan Gardot, a fellow senior, suggested I go to an open mic night in Port Angeles. She said there are always scouts at these things and that I had talent. I wasn't even going to consider it at first because I know for a fact scouts do not want to fund songwriters with a life threatening illness due to insurance and such. But after a bit of a shove from my friends and family I gave it a go just for the hell of it.
After I left the stage I was approached by one of the scouts that were there that night. She said I had a raw talent and would love to fund me. We went to a private room at the club and discussed a contract and the finer details. I informed her of my current condition and she said she would love to fund me anyway.
When my first song I Can't Break It To My Heart was released, shortly after my newly acquired record deal, the response to my music was unbelievable. Also at this time my chemo was going really well and I found it strange that I hadn't lost my hair. Carlisle said that the chemo affects everyone differently and not to worry.
In September I was working on my first album which followed the success of two more songs. Fragile and This Is Not Me. And just days after my 19th birthday I went into my first clinical remission.
It's now November and I've been on remission for two months and everything is perfect, well almost.