DISLAIMER: Code Geass and all its characters are owned by Sunrise.

Summary: So, this story more or less wrote its ending as I went. I had originally planned on writing a fic about C.C.'s past and what she had been through over the years, but when I put it in a diary I realized that I had to have someone reading it. Enter Lelouch. Well, I couldn't very well have him reading her diary and not find out some... interesting things. Anyways, long story short it went from being soley about C.C. so slight LuluxC.C. Anyways, I hope you like it! I've never tried a one-shot before. ;

Lelouch let out an exasperated sigh as he walked down the semi-crowded hall of Ashford Academy towards his dorm room. The past week had seen very little activity with the Black Knights, so Lelouch had been spending the time keeping up his appearances as a normal student. He had been to class every day for the past week, and had actually spent time with his friends, something he rarely had the time for ever since becoming Zero.

Lelouch waved and smiled as he passed a group of people in the hall that had said hello, even though he didn't recognize them. At last he reached the door to his room. He reached in his pocket and pulled out the key. He stepped inside and pulled the door shut and locked it before turning towards the girl lying on his bed hugging a giant stuffed animal, which the green haired girl had dubbed 'Cheese-kun.'

"You're back early," C.C. said without turning to see who it was and sounding rather bored. This didn't really surprise Lelouch, though, since she had hardly left the room lately due to the Black Knights' inactivity.

"Yeah. The physics teacher is ill and unable to teach today. It was to short of notice to find a substitute so the class has been cancelled."

"Oh," was all C.C. said as she tightened her grip on cheese-kun.

Lelouch set down his bag before sitting down at his desk and staring up at the ceiling. "I'm surprised." He looked down and saw C.C. staring at him, half her face hidden behind the giant brown toy. Lelouch mentally scolded himself as he realized he was thinking about how cute she looked before continuing. "The Brittanian Empire hasn't made a single move in so long. It's odd. Yes, they did suffer heavy losses in our last battle, but not enough to warrant such a long period of inactivity. They're up to something…."

"Or maybe they aren't as strong as they want everyone to think. If you recall all of our battles with them so far, and add up all the losses from them, their forces have been severely crippled. They wouldn't want to reveal this to the public, or else every rebel faction in the area would attack them."

"That is a possibility," Lelouch said before leaning back and closing his eyes. "It's just strange… living a normal life this past week." He set forward again and slammed his fist on the desk. "I'm tired of sitting around and doing nothing! How can I hope to achieve anything at this rate? But we can't attack the Empire out of the blue. The Knights fight only those who harm the defenseless, and since there have been no Brittanian attacks there would be no justification for us to go after them!"

C.C. simply watched as Lelouch threw his little tantrum. It was rare for him to loose his cool, but after a week of not being able to further his goals of peace, Lelouch was beginning to lose patience, and if it kept up… 'He could ruin everything he's fighting for.'

"Lelouch.," C.C. said in a tone that surprised Lelouch enough to get him to stop his ranting and listen. "Don't try to rush things. When things are rushed, mistakes are made. Mistakes are not something you can afford to make in this war." She watched as Lelouch's fist struck the defenseless desk again. "Perhaps you should find something to do to take your mind off the matter for a while."

Lelouch scoffed. "Like what?"

C.C. shrugged slightly before hugging cheese-kun tighter and watched Lelouch. "You're staring," she said after a few minutes.

"Uh, oh… sorry," Lelouch said as he quickly averted his gaze, blushing slightly. 'Damnit, what's wrong with me today?' Before the thought could be pondered any more, he heard the bell ring. He stood up and grabbed his bag. "Might as well head to class. I'll be back in a few hours." He walked across the room and placed his hand on the doorknob. "Oh, and by the way," he said, looking over his shoulder. "I cancelled my old credit card and got a new one, so don't try ordering any pizza with it."

C.C. rolled over and glared daggers at Lelouch. "Bastard…."

Lelouch smirked before opening the door and leaving.

-Two hours later-

Lelouch walked into his room and locked the door before turning to look at his bed, which he was shocked to see empty.

"C.C.?" He waited for a reply, and when none came he frowned. 'Damnit, where did she go off to? She knows how dangerous it is to roam around the campus.'

He walked over and set down on the edge of the bed. It was several moments before he realized the clothes lying on the floor. 'At least she wore her school girl uniform instead of her usual outfit.' Sighing, Lelouch stood up and gathered the clothes to hang them up. Lelouch didn't like his room to be messy, which C.C. apparently knew since she did all she could to make it messy. When he picked up her outfit, something fell out of a hidden pocket and hit the floor with a soft thud.

Lelouch hung up the clothes then went and picked up the object. 'Wha- C.C. has a diary? Huh… maybe now I can find out a little more about her, and possibly the Geass.'

Lelouch made sure the door was locked so C.C. wouldn't walk in on him reading her diary then set down at his desk, feeling only a tiny twinge of guilt at the invasion of privacy.

Entry 1:

I feel rather stupid doing this… Keeping a diary, but… if I ever forgot again. I don't know what happened to me. My memories… I remember bits and pieces of my childhood. I remember being taught of the power of Geass, but little more than that. Who am I? Why am I here? What am I? Why am I so different from everyone else? I'm sure someone has answered all these questions before, but I don't remember the answers anymore…. I've lived for so long now, suffered injuries that would kill any living being… and yet here I am. Many would consider immortality a blessing, but they've never had it. I've been killed, so to say, numerous times, in more and more painful and gruesome ways. I've been accused of being a witch and drowned, burned alive… I've been accused of being a demon and been beheaded, gutted, torn limb from limb… So many memories of pain and suffering, and it's all because of my immortality. The few people I'd ever grown close to, the few... friends- that I've had. They all died. I outlived them all, and have to mourn them every day. Even so… I don't want to forget them. No, I want to remember them always. The ones who actually cared.

Entry 2:

It's been a while since I've written in this. Two years, I think. Two years of more suffering and loneliness… Things I don't want to remember. The reason I'm writing in it now is because of a boy. An orphan, who I found lost in the woods. He was so innocent, so young, and on the verge of death. When he saw me, the first thing he said was that I must be his guardian angel. He crawled his way over to me before collapsing from exhaustion. I'd no idea how long he had been in the woods alone, but one thing was obvious. If I didn't help him, he would die. Normally I wouldn't care- A fact I hate to admit but must- but there was something about him. I've decided to take care of him, for now at least. When he was finally awake I asked him his name. Mao.

Lelouch scowled as he read Mao's name, remembering what he had done to Nunnally. He shoved the thoughts of the sadistic bastard out of his mind before returning to the diary.

Entry 3:

I'm so sorry Mao… I'm sorry. After five short years, I've lost him. I don't know why it happened, and I wish with every fiber of my being that it hadn't. Over my lifetime, I'd heard the saying 'Better to have loved then lost, than to have never loved at all.' All I have to say is whoever thinks that is a complete idiot! I'm getting ahead of myself… I have to keep my records straight in case I ever forget again. Mao… after I'd found him those five short years ago, we grew close to each other, and even grew to… love each other. When he was still young, I had taught him to read and write, to draw, to swim. Everything a parent would teach their child. He thought of me as his mother, or big sister. I'm not exactly sure which. Either way, he saw me as his family, and I saw him as mine, and we loved each other like we were a family. I also gave him something else… the power of Geass. The form that manifested in him was very powerful. It gave him the ability to read the minds of everyone within five-hundred meters. It had one major downfall, however. He couldn't shut it off. He constantly heard the thoughts of others. Except… for when he was with me. Geass has no effect on me, so if he focused solely on me, he would hear nothing since he couldn't read my mind. This is what led to his change… He became dependant on me, and I had no problems being there for him. But, fate had another plan. One of the special research and weapon development branches of the Britannian Empire had been searching for a way to physically enhance their soldiers, and they just happened to find out about my curse- Immortality. They came for me. I would have been able to escape except… they took Mao. They threatened to kill him if I didn't go with them, so I surrendered. I don't want to remember the things they did to me, but when I finally managed to escape, I couldn't find Mao anywhere. I'm so sorry… Mao.

Entry 4:

I've been living in Lelouch's room at Ashford Academy for a while now. I don't know for sure how long. Ever since what happened to Mao, I'd made a promise to myself: Never get close to anyone again. But with Lelouch, I'm finding it hard to keep that promise. He's so different from most humans. He intrigues me, to say the least. I want to know more about him… and the more I find out, the more I find myself thinking about him… caring about him. He doesn't know this… at least I don't think he does. I've grown very skilled in hiding my feelings from others but… He is so confusing! There are so many times he seems to hate me, but then there are also times that he seems to feel… differently. I'll never forget what happened after our battle to save the Japanese Liberation Front. The white-head Knightmare… it was going to kill Lelouch. I couldn't let that happen, so I used my power to attack its pilot with visions of his deepest fears but then… Lelouch grabbed my shoulder. When he did, he saw my memories, or at least some of them. I felt so helpless, so exposed. When the Knightmare pilot started firing randomly, having been driven temporarily insane by whatever vision I had made him see, I was pierced through my chest by several sharp stones. I may be immortal, but that doesn't mean I can't black out, and when a giant stone punctures my heart and both lungs… it becomes impossible to remain conscious. When I woke up, it was to Lelouch's voice… saying my name. My real name… the name I had forgotten. I was overjoyed, for a moment. My joy was replaced with embarrassment as I realized that Lelouch had removed my clothes to "dress my wounds" as he put it. I could've killed him. That is until he said those two words. "Thank you." No one had ever thanked me before. I don't know what happened to me when he said it but… I asked him to say my name again. To say it as if he were my… lover. I criticized him after it, but… when he said it. It was the happiest I had ever been. I wanted to tell him… but our conversation was cut short by Kallen. One thing he said to me though… was that he didn't know why snow was white, but he found it beautiful, and that he didn't hate it at all. I had told him snow was white because it had forgotten who it was… and I have forgotten who I was. Could he have been talking about me?

Entry 5:

Goodbye… Mao. After all this time, I'd finally found Mao again. Without me to help him with his Geass, the mental strain of hearing so many thoughts had driven him mad. I told Lelouch that I had left him by choice, that he hadn't fulfilled his contract with me so I abandoned him. I didn't tell him the truth because… I didn't want Lelouch to feel guilty about killing him, which I knew would have to happen. When Mao asked to meet me, I knew I had no choice. If I didn't, he would've killed Lelouch… and for some reason, I couldn't bare that thought. I had hoped I could reason with Mao, for things to go back to how they used to be. I was a fool to think such a thing was possible. He was to far lost in his insanity. It took every ounce of my willpower to not burst into tears as Mao shot me… and prepared to saw me into pieces. He said he was 'thanking me,' but then why did it feel so much like torture? Then something happened I would have never dreamed of. I was saved- By Lelouch. Does this mean that he really does care about me? When Mao was shot by the police, my heart felt like it had been torn out of my chest again. No, this felt worse than that had. He was gone… or so it seemed. When he came back, he didn't go after me once. He wanted revenge on Lelouch. I don't know how he did it, but Lelouch managed to outsmart him, and used his Geass to take away Mao's voice. When he ran out of the chapel… I was waiting for him. His eyes lit up when he saw me and he tried to say something to me. Then I shot him. The Mao I loved was dead… replaced by a psychopath. I have suffered many 'deaths' and been thru tortures that are to horrible to speak of… but nothing hurt me more, than having to kill Mao. The only one that loved me… that ever would love me. Maybe things can go back to how they were in the next life.

Lelouch, despite his efforts, felt a silent tear run down his cheek. 'I-I had no idea. She's been through so much, and I've not made thing any easier on her. I'm such an idiot! Why did I never suspect sooner that-'

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard a thud come from the direction of the door, and when he turned to look at the source of said noise, his eyes widened in shock. 'Damn! How'd she get in here?'

Standing in the door next to two pizza boxes that she'd dropped was a very angry C.C. "You! How dare you?!"

Lelouch stood up so quick that he knocked his chair over backwards. "C.C.! Wait, just let me e-"

"Let you what?!" the witch yelled louder than Lelouch had ever heard her yell. "Let you try and lie your way out of this?! Those are MY memories! You have no right to-"

Fearing someone would hear the very outraged yelling that he was sure could be heard for quite a distance, Lelouch ran over to C.C. and clamped a hand over her mouth and slammed the door shut and locked it. He immediately wished he had thought that plan through more as he received a very painful blow to the stomach, causing him to double over in pain.

"Damnit," he coughed, trying to regain the breath that had been knocked out of him. "If you're going to be mad at me, could you do it quiet enough that someone doesn't find you and end up getting you sent back to the Britannian research labs?!"

Realizing that Lelouch was right, although she hated to admit it, C.C. lowered her voice but was madder than ever. 'How dare he touch me?!' "Are you really so desperate for power that you're willing to dig through my past looking for information on the Geass? Don't lie either, I know that's what you were looking for!"

Lelouch took several seconds to regain his breath, or some of it, before he was finally able to gasp out a response. "I won't deny it, I did want to know more about the Geass, but that's not the only reason I was reading your-" His sentence was interrupted by a fit of coughing and his mental cursing of his physical weakness and the fact he had been hurt so much from a single blow. 'Damn… she doesn't look like she'd be able to hit so hard.'

C.C. glared down at Lelouch, extremely tempted to increase his pain with a swift kick to the ribs but she restrained herself. "What other reason could you possibly have had?!"

"Do you remember what I said to you in that cave at Narita?" Lelouch asked as he slowly stood back up, still holding his stomach where he had been hit. "You were right… I was talking about you."

C.C., who had been considering hitting Lelouch again, stared at Lelouch wide eyed, her anger fading quickly after that statement.

"I wanted to know more about you, C.C. We've been together for so long, and yet I didn't know anything about who you are other than you love to torture me." He said that last part with a small grin.

"L-Lelouch?" C.C. cast her eyes downwards and bit her lower lip. "So… you read that much? So you know about… how I feel?" She looked up at Lelouch, who nodded, his eyes showing something she had never seen in them before. Not when he looked at her, at least. 'Or maybe, I just never noticed until now?'

"Well?" Lelouch stared at her quizzically, apparently not understanding what she meant. "Do you feel the same about me?"

"I can't say. I don't really know how you feel towards me. No matter how many of your memories I read, I could never know how you feel. What I do know is that I care for you… more than I've cared for anyone before, other than Nunnally." Lelouch winced in pain as he took a step towards C.C. "I… I don't know what- what it feels like to be in love with someone but I do know that… I've never felt this way about anyone before."

Lelouch gasped in both surprise and pain as C.C. threw her arms around him, tears running down her face. After a moment, Lelouch returned the embrace.

"I'm sorry Lelouch. I-I should've told you sooner, but… after what happened with Mao. I was afraid to get close to anyone again…."

"I understand," Lelouch said as he slowly moved C.C. away. As much as he enjoyed her embrace, it was rather hard on his still hurting stomach. "I'm sorry… about what happened with Mao. I should've found a way to stop him without killing him. I should've-"

The no-longer-lonely prince's eyes widened in surprise as he found his sentence cut short by C.C. pressing her lips against his. Lelouch, after realizing what was happening, returned her kiss.

"You talk too much," C.C. said as she broke the kiss. "You did all you could. Besides, you didn't kill him… I did. The Mao I knew had died a long time ago."

Lelouch didn't know what to say, so he simply embraced C.C. again as she cried. "You mind if we sit down?" Lelouch asked when C.C. had finally regained her composure. "You throw one hell of a mean punch."

"Lelouch, I'm so sorry!" She looked at him and was surprised to see he was smiling. She helped him over to the bed where he lied down and closed his eyes. She then went over to the desk, returning the chair to its upright position before sitting down and grabbing her diary and a pen.

Hearing the soft scratch of writing, Lelouch opened his eyes and looked over at C.C. "What're you writing?"

"About how my greatest wish has finally been granted," she said as she sat the pen down and walked over to the bed, lying down next to Lelouch.

"You mean?"

C.C. nodded and rested her head against Lelouch. "I… I love you…" she whispered.

"I love you to…"

Authors note: So there it is! My first one-shot! I had originally considered not putting this up, since it strayed so far from the story I intended it to be, but I rather liked it when I finished and thought "Eh, what the heck." :P

P.S. I may still do a fic dedicated to C.C.'s background. It will be much more in depth and I'm considering writing it where each chapter is a different time period. You know, like middle ages in one chapter, WWI in another, ect. Not sure if I will/should or not. What do you all think? Please let me know if you'd like me to write it!