Title: Hiding
Rating: T
Pairing: Crusher/Troi (That's right this is femmeslash aka lady lovin if you don't like it don't read it)
AN: I've never written this pairing before and its really hard to find stories on them. I'm kind of hoping this sparks some people to come out of their shell and write more of these two. Flames will be used to toast marshmallows and make smores.
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Beverly Crusher collapsed on her bed, utterly exhausted. A dull ache had set up residence in her temples. It seemed that was how she had been ending all her days lately. She brought her hands up to her temples rubbing slow circles, she was emotionally and physically drained. She bit her lip and swallowed over the lump in her throat, feeling tears burning in her eyes, but refused to let them fall. Clenching her jaw, Beverly pushed up off the bed and began pacing around the room desperate to keep control of her emotions. A battle she fought every day.
For most people hiding their feelings is as simple as schooling the reaction on their face. Not so easy is having to hide your emotions from an empath. It was an exhausting game of distracting herself and putting up walls to keep Deanna out. Taking extreme measures whenever Deanna walked into the room by reciting the bones in the human body, or naming the organ systems of Klingons to herself. Even now in her own room she was on her guard. She was afraid to sleep because she couldn't control her dreams. Eventually exhaustion would overtake the red haired woman's body only to be pulled forcefully back to consciousness.
It was always the same dream. Black eyes staring into hers. Whispered words. Roaming hands. Passionate kisses.
Was it love? A simple attraction? She didn't know. Beverly didn't even dare think about it on the off chance that the dark eyed woman in her dreams would stumble upon her thoughts. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable because Deanna is a woman, but rather that Deanna is her colleague and friend. She worried her lip between her teeth, feeling everything simmering beneath the surface threatening to boil over at any second. Walking back to her bed she laid down hoping that sleep would come and praying that it would be dreamless.
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Beverly's legs kicked without her permission causing her to spring up in bed. Gulping cooling breaths of air, sweat drenching her body, heat pooled low in her belly. Her chest heaved as her muscles quivered. Her mind was swimming with the images from her dream. Those eyes peering straight into her soul. She could still feel lips against hers and hands roaming her body. Clenching her fists into the sheets she struggled to get her breathing and her emotions back under control. Just as her heart was beginning to beat normally again she was startled by a chirp.
"Sickbay to Dr. Crusher"
"Crusher here"
"There's an emergency we need you here."
"I'm on my way"
She glanced at the clock. She had only been asleep for two hours. She felt weary down to her bones. It took all the strength left in her body to get out of bed and into her uniform. Head down, she focused on the floor and walked with a purpose. Her breath caught in her throat as she rounded the corner and crashed into someone's back. Heat filled Beverly's cheeks as Deanna Troi turned around and and placed steadying hands on her shoulders.
"Oh! Beverly, are you alright?" she said running hands up and down the red heads arms closing her hands around Beverly's elbows.
"I..uh..I'm..Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine" stammered the Doctor backing away enough to break free.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Just..Not paying attention..I..Ihavetogo"
A look of confusion crossed the Counselors face at the strange behavior of the normally calm and collected woman she knew. Deanna watched until she disappeared around the corner, concerned at the amount of fear and anxiety that she was sensing from the Doctor. Slowly Deanna began following to make sure that she was in fact ok, but also to satisfy her own intense curiosity of emotions she was sensing but not quite sure how to place.
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Beverly was glad for the distraction of work. She let her mind fully focus on what she was doing, letting go of everything else that had been on her mind. Practiced emotional detachment of being a Doctor kept her sane during the day, she was thankful for the focus of work. Her mind was happily occupied but her arms felt heavy as she scanned the body in front of her. Dark circles mottled the skin beneath her eyes showing the toll that the months of little sleep were taking on the Doctors body. Her head started spinning and she excused herself and went into her office.
"Come in" the doctor called out after hearing a chirp
"Beverly I was wondering if you had a moment"
"I really can't right now. I'm in the middle of running this test. Can it wait?"
"I suppose it could," Deanna took tentative steps toward her friend "I'm just concerned about you, I've been feeling a lot of anxiety from you lately."
Deanna could feel irritation suddenly rolling off the other woman in waves.
"I'm fine." Beverly clenched her jaw, feeling cornered. Her normally long fuse was significantly shorter and she could feel it sizzling away. "Really. I need to get back to this."
"Somehow I don't believe you" Deanna pushed "It seems like you've been going out of your way to avoid me. You practically ran away from me in the hallway. If I've done something to upset you I at least deserve the courtesy of being told what it is" Deanna stared Beverly down issuing a challenge her own irritation level had risen to match the doctors.
"I think you should keep your empahtic nose to yourself and leave me the hell alone." Beverly stood up and put her hands on her desk, making herself eye level to Deanna. Her muscles tense and her breath coming in short angry pants.
"That's not fair!" Deanna stepped forward invading the Doctors space not backing down. "Its not a light switch I can't turn it off, and you still haven't answered my question. Stop trying to make this into something it isn't"
"You really wanna know?" Beverly stormed from behind her desk, backing Deanna into a corner "I'll tell you." She brought her arms up and put her palms flat against the wall on both sides of the brunettes head bringing her face inches away "No. Better yet. I'll let you feel it"
All the feelings that had been buried down deep for months poured out of Beverly. Deanna's knees buckled and Beverly had to press herself against the smaller woman to keep her upright from the intensity of the emotions that had just bombarded her. Beverly brought her mouth to Deanna's ear and whispered "Happy now?"
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tbc maybe?