Disclaimer: No, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! And I do not expect anyone to think I do. Oughtn't it be obvious that no one at this site does?
WARNINGS: This is an AU fic which includes such topics as insanity, self-harm, abuse, polytheism (belief in multiple Gods), Anzu-complimenting, and yaoi.
SUMMARY: When Ryou is institutionalized, he realizes that his friends understand him better than he thought. Multi-chaptered.
Pain of Confinement
Chapter One~ Welcomed Color
*Ryou Viewpoint*
It's cold. Bleak, sterile, empty. And it doesn't help the fact that they leave the air conditioning on constantly, or the fact that they make us wear these damned thin pajamas. My room is small, cramped, with a barred window that I couldn't even get my shoulders through. And there's white. All white. Heh, I have perfect camouflage! I give a sneaky little chuckle as I think of how easy it is to miss an albino, in white pajamas, in a white room. It's happened before, and they panicked when they couldn't find me. Heh, baka.
I press my hand to the cool glass, peering down at a crisp, grassy lawn. Bright, vivid green, and I smile at a young patient, only about ten, who waves up at me. I think of how lucky he is, to be allowed to go outdoors. Fresh air instead of filtered, the sweet smell of the trees instead of harsh sanitizers. I swear to the Gods that when I get out, I'm going to go live on a livestock farm. At least then, the smells would be natural.
The sun is shining brilliantly, making a little fountain sparkle. How great would it be, if I could just get out. But no, I'm not "safe." They fear that I will be harmed if I get near the water, or the trees, or the rosebush. No, that's not true. They fear I will harm myself.
Ridiculous! I have never entertained such ideas, nor have I ever joked about them. I am not suicidal, not masochistic, not in any way wishing harm upon myself or others. My scars are not my fault, but I hadn't managed to convince my father that they were instead caused by another. Of course, how can I prove it without getting in even more trouble with him?
For, you see, my father is ashamed of me. And I believe for a very ignorant reason. He is Anglican Catholic, and I am a polytheist. He had noticed when I had worn my ankh pendant after my sixteenth birthday. Yugi and his yami had gotten it for me, and I had been so exited. And I had thought that my father, Christian or not, would think it was cool, because he is a professor of archaeology. My, how wrong had I been! I don't think he could have been any less tolerant. He had condemned it as a "heathen cross of a primitive people." Ugh. Baka! Khem! Oh, great. Now I'm swearing like Bakura! Oy. For your information, that means "ignorant person."
But, that's when he had had me evaluated. Examined. Tests like mad, to determine if I was mad. And that's when they had found my scars. Not only a few, but many. All over my chest and shoulders, one or two on my arms. Mostly where Bakura had hit me, or knocked me down onto the furniture. Not scars caused by cutting or clawing myself. But the idiot physicians couldn't tell the difference, and they had immediately told my father that I was a threat to my own safety. He didn't care, he had practically said he hated me, but he now had a reason to have me locked away.
So here I am, three days into my solitude. "Father" hasn't visited, and I know he won't. I don't care, I feel betrayed. I've lost everything. My dueling cards ("They obviously have been encouraging godless and violent ideas."), my ankh ("Maybe if he doesn't have his pagan items, he will forget."), and mostly, the Millennium Ring. Because it is a pagan item. Because it has sharp points. And because it is gold. It had been pawned. Ooh, that had pissed me off to no end. It was mine! And, it had Bakura.
I grind my teeth as I think of my yami. It was his fault I had been stuck here. Yes, my "father" would have searched for another way to get me sent to the mental institution, but I'm certain I could have avoided it, if not for those bloody scars. Bakura-sama's fault I'm here, and his fault I am more miserable than ever. No television, no radio, no games, no visitors, no snacks, no friends. No Bakura-sama. I am not mad, but I'm surely on my way. Losing my mind to this bland semi-existence.
I lay down on the small cot, bolted down "for my safety," and sigh. Curling up under the thin sheet, I think of how much weight I must have lost. I eat, but I cannot stomach much food, so I send much away. I think if I had to eat one more Ausar-damned chicken soup, I'd puke.
I startle to a loud creak, and I turn to see the door open. "You have a visitor," the nurse murmurs, slowly, as though I cannot understand speech. Gods, woman! I'm bored, not slow! But then it registers. A visitor? "Many, actually."
"Nima-?" I ask, before realizing I am once again speaking the language of Kemet. I correct myself. "Who?"
My heart lurches and lightens as I see. Yugi! And Jonouchi, Honda, Anzu, and even the Kaiba brothers! I bolt up and wrap my arms around as many of them as I can get in one hug. "What the hell are all of you doing here? How did you get them to-" I am interrupted by Kaiba Seto.
"Well, I have some considerable sway in many places, and it only took a little persuasion to convince them that you should have more than one visitor." He gives a wink and a sly grin. I feel tears forming as I drag them all to sit near me. Even the colors of all of them make me feel better, and the human warmth is very comforting. And new smells! I had never imagined that being deprived would make me so sensitive to them. I cry on shoulders, each of them holding me for a time, and I revel in the touch. Even Kaiba gives me a warm embrace.
"Why did you all-"
"Ryou, we know how you feel. Maybe not exactly, but we all know what it's like to be stuck somewhere, when it's not your own fault." Yugi takes my hand in his, and I feel someone- probably Anzu- scratching my back gently. "But we have stuff for you!"
"Oh? What kind of stuff?" I look around, and see that they each have a paper bag. Yugi gives me his, first. I open it, and find cards. Dueling cards. My dueling cards!
"Neteru! Where did you get these?"
"Snagged them from your father's trash. Luckily, they were in a bag of all of your stuff, so they weren't damaged! We're saving your clothes for when you get out." I smile gratefully, and hug Yugi again. Jonouchi shoves his bag at me next. I laugh at his enthusiasm, and take it.
"No way! Jerkyjerkyjerkyjerky! Ankh neter, Jonouchi, how did you know I wanted this so bad?"
He shrugs. "Hell, I hear the food they serve here sucks, so I decided to get you some interesting food!" Then, Honda hands me his sack. Inside, I find my ankh! Squealing like I had used to on Christmas, I give him a high-five.
"Here, Ryou! There's a couple of things in there." Anzu gives me a sisterly peck on the cheek before relinquishing her gift. I start to drool as I pull out one thing. Chocolate!
"Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes! Arigatou, Anzu!" There are several bars in there, and I let them fall onto the bed. "Don't sit on them!" I caution my friends. "If you do, you're eating it!" Jonouchi makes a motion to flop onto them, but catches himself just in time, and gives me a joking little smirk. When I remove all of the candy, I find a small pack of emery boards.
"I remember you biting your nails whenever you were really antsy, and I know bitten nails get really jagged, and catch on fabric. Big pain. I would have brought clippers, to keep them short, or a file, but I know the damn nurses, if they caught you with them, would take them because they'd think you're going to hurt yourself with them. Hopefully, these won't be taken." I wrap my arms around her neck, and she pats me on the back.
Mokuba tosses his bag at me, and I feel it's something heavy. And sort of big. I growl as I fumble with it. Taped! Ugh. Oh, well. I'll get it. Hey, a book! A little paperback, of the Star Wars Episode Two novel! I give him a thumbs-up, and he returns it.
The elder Kaiba's turn. His gift is wrapped in tissue, as well, and when I unwrap it, there lies a small pocket computer, and a couple of games. My eyes bug, and I stammer, "What- how?"
"Anoo, moshi moshi! Have you forgotten that I'm filthy rich? Not to mention a technological phenomenon? I can afford it. And I'm doing it because I know that I'D be bored shitless here. With this, you can write, play games, draw, and listen to some music I've loaded into it. There are some earphones taped inside the bag." I flip the switch on the side of the device, and it starts an operating program that was probably designed by Kaiba himself. "And there's an antenna, so you can use it as a cell phone or to email people. I put all of our addresses and phone numbers in. Use the left earphone as a microphone when speaking or recording sounds. It won't interfere with any of the hospital's communications, so they won't even notice it if you keep it hidden. The battery is good for an entire month's worth of continual use, and I'll make sure you get a new one. You can pick up television signals, and I have you programmed to be able to get satellite channels. There's a digi-cam above the screen, so you can do live video or photos. Basically all you can't do with this, communications-wise, is broadcast on TV. That is, unless somehow you hack into the stations." He wears a guilty grin, and I wonder just how he managed to do it. Hm. Fun idea!
"Wow. Aww, thank you all! I know I'll probably never be able to pay you back for this, Kaiba-"
"Who gives a damn? It cost me, money-wise, practically nothing, and only a couple of hours putting it together. It was less to make than it would have if I had gotten you a standard, already-made pocket-PC. Just don't get the damn thing confiscated."
"Like I would! No way! I'm definitely keeping this well hidden."
"So Ryou, we really don't know the circumstances that well, just that your father's been a major baka. Would you fill us in?" Yugi asks gently, and I know that he's worried about offending or hurting me. I smile to reassure him.
"Thank you for asking. You don't know how much it means that all of you came here just to hear some semi-sane quiet kid vent."
"Hey, no problem!" Jonouchi rests his arm around my shoulders in a companionable hug, and I reach behind me for a Hershey bar (with almonds. ^_____^ yum). Unwrapping it and chomping into it, I tell them about my father's abhorrence of my paganism, how my scars from Bakura's abuse "incriminated" me (in the stupidest way possible), and how "dad" had pawned the Millennium Ring. When I finish, Yugi is clearly outraged.
"Ugh! That baka no baka! Khem khet khensh! Ankh neter, Ryou, I swear he's more khefti than Bakura!" Anoo, you may want translations. Khem khet: incompetant man. Khensh: stink. Ankh neter (did I use this already?): an oath by the Gods. Khefti: enemy.
"So your yami's got you swearing in the tongue of Kemet, too?"
He nods with a giggle, fondly clutching the chain of his puzzle, and I feel a sharp pang of regret and envy. He's so lucky that he has no kin disapproving of any of his actions or beliefs. And that his yami hasn't done anything to get him into as big of trouble as mine has. I know my small friend is in love with his other half, and I cannot blame him. It is nothing but natural to love your soulmate, and I've been secretly praying that Bakura-sama feels the same about me. With a frustrated sigh, I come to the conclusion that, even if he did, it's too late to find out.
My friends, however, notice my pensive mood. "What's wrong, Ryou?" Anzu askes politely. I shake my head.
"Nothing, really, I'm just thinking."
"Uh-oh! Y'know, thinking can really hurt," Jonouchi teases to lighten my mood. It doesn't help much.
"Agreed, but it's something that has to be done. I was just thinking about Bakura-sama." All of them flinch at my submissive term for my yami, but especially Honda.
"What about him? I would think you'd be glad to get rid of that jerk!" I wince, somewhat hurt by his insult.
"It's not that simple, Honda-kun," Yugi interferes. "Bakura-san is Ryou's yami. Just like Yami is mine. Bakura-san may not be that nice, but I know I need Yami, and so I think Ryou's feeling just about the same way I would if Yami were taken. Maybe a bit more confused, though, because he's not sure that Bakura-san returns his feelings. He sure doesn't seem to, but he's a pissy person anyway." I frown. "But that's not the point. The point is that Ryou and Bakura-san are two halves of a whole, and that neither is complete without the other. Like a yin-yang. There's a little bit of Yami in me, and a little bit of Bakura-san in Ryou, and you can't separate without causing pain."
I nod, wrapping my arms around myself as I think of all of the times my yami would beat me. He would curse at me, call me stupid, or weak, or say he should have a better "host," but looking back on it, I realize that he never once said that he hated me, or that he wished me gone, or dead. He never threatened my life, never held a weapon to me, never hit me on the head, and always patched up my wounds as best as possible. I suddenly find a wave of loneliness sweep over me as I admit to myself that I miss him. I allow a tear to fall, and someone- I think Yugi, the hand seemed small- brushes it away.
"Who knows? With all we've been through, I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up with him. I know everything's gonna be okay. The Ring belongs to you, and somehow, you'll get it back." I exhale deeply as I smile my thanks.
"So, when're you getting out?" Mokuba asks, and I grin wryly.
"Well, until I'm eighteen, I can't request a reevaluation for myself, and my father definitely won't. So, at least twenty-one more months." They gasp in unison, and, sadly, I hang my head.
"Ooh, that asshole! $@$*^#@%$&%#*#%^@$&^##^%*..." Kaiba goes into a cursing tirade, alternating between Nihongo, Mandarin, Ra em Kemet (the language of Kemet), Korean, English, Spanish, French, Hindi, Russian, and several other languages I can't identify. Mokuba's eyes grow wide, and he begins to giggle.
"Big brother! You're gonna get us kicked out, influence or no influence!" His words immediately have an effect on the elder Kaiba, and he regains his composure. Touched by all of their support, I grab them all in another group hug.
"Don't worry. This cell is soundproof. They wouldn't notice a bomb going off in here unless it blew the wall down."
"It is? Whoo! WHOO! PARTY!!!" Jonouchi hollers, jumping around like a maniac.
"Okay, I think the Inu needs to be in this kennel, not you!" Kaiba mutters, rolling his eyes, but I see a genuine shine of amusement in them. I grab Jonouchi's sleeve and yank him on his rear on the bed. Correction: Not on the bed. I missed. He wound up in Kaiba's lap.
"Hey, watch where you're throwin' me!"
"Yeah! Watch where you're throwing him!" They both squirm, but surprisingly, Kaiba doesn't shove him off. Nor does Jonouchi shove himself away from the billionaire. Their eyes meet, and I see a blush growing on their faces, before Jonouchi bashfully looks away. I realize something important has happened, that they have found something. And I think everyone in the room can see it. I feel slightly jealous, because of the fact that, clearly, they are attracted to one another. Clearly, something significant passed between them in that instant, that touched both of them to their cores. It was beautiful, that they had seen that, but I know that they'll have a rocky time. They'll have to talk it over. Lucky them.
Clearing his throat, Jonouchi scoots off of Kaiba's lap, and Kaiba shakes his head. Absently, he scratches behind the other's ear, and I can see a daze in their eyes. Wistfully, Kaiba slips his arms around Jonouchi, who, stunned by the ear-scratching (mmm. That seems like it would feel good. ~___________~. Uh-oh. Fantasizing about Bakura= me getting sleepy. Uh-oh.), leans into the embrace eagerly. I exchange glances with everyone else, and all of them have either an amused smirk or a,"Aaw!" tupe of smile. Neteru (Gods.). Getting SO envious here.
Yugi, with a shy grin, hugs his Millennium Puzzle to his chest, and I feel tears once again forming. Aaugh! Man, it seems like EVERYONE is with the one they love. Jonouchi and Kaiba, Yugi and Yugioh, Honda has Shizuka, and Mokuba's not really old enough. Wait. Everyone but Anzu is.
"Are you okay?" I whisper.
"Hai. I'm just thinking."
"Oh, no." She elbows me in the ribs for this.
"Oh, quiet. I'm just thinking about Yugi."
"That's clear enough. What about Yugi?"
"Oh, nothing. Nothing really. Just thinking about how perfect he and Yami are for each other."
"Are you jealous?" I hug her lightly.
"Iie. I guess I had been, and I do feel somewhat left out, but they're supposed to be together. Ever since Duelist Kingdom, I've been able to feel Yugi's really strong emotions, like fear or love, and it's never been stronger than when he's thinking about Yami." My eyes grow wide as I hear her confession. She sighs. "It sort of hurt, at first, because I do feel strongly for Yugi, but, well, I guess we're not meant to be."
"You'll find love, Anzu. You're too wonderful a person, even if you can be a little too optimistic for me to handle at times." She smiles at me, and I wink. "Someone's going to fall in love, and be very lucky. You're a great friend, and I think that someone who can be a great friend could also be a great soulmate. I don't really have much of a taste in females, but I think that you're very pretty, and I know I have a good taste in what's pleasant-looking, be it art, nature, or people. And you're so much smarter than a whole lot of people realize. True, you can be a bit long-winded, but you've definitely improved that, and you're often the first one to notice problems. And I've been told about a lot of situations in which YOU remember stuff, and remind others of it. During the duel with Pegasus, I heard that you were the one to reassure Yugi that, even though Pegasus had magic, Yugi did, too. Also, I DO think it's pretty cool that you can pick locks. I can, too, but it took me a long time to get it. And you were the one to realize that Kujaku Mai was trying to help Yugi in their duel, and a whole lot of stuff. You're a valuable friend, even though when I first heard one of your friendship-rants, I SO wanted to puke. You've really improved in that, though. When was the last time you went off on one of those? When dueling Mai, I believe, although you were jabbering on quite a bit about it during Yugi and Jonouchi's duel. But I wholeheartedly agreed with you, there. And besides, I DO admire the fact that you bitched out Mai. Not that I dislike her, but I do think she had it coming. I think-"
"Ryou, it's okay. I get it!" Anzu giggles. "You can shut up, now! And you say I'm windy!"
"Gomen." My face reddens, and I shake my blabberiness out of my head. Looking around, I see Honda-kun popping a stick of gum in his mouth. Yugi, his eyes glazed, is obviously speaking with Yugioh-san. Mokuba has pulled out a Gameboy, and his brother is still absently cuddling the now asleep-looking Jonouchi. Suddenly, the door creaks open once more.
"Eight-o'clock. No more visitors." The nurse's words, now crisp and quick. Well, decided I'm no longer stupid? Everyone shakes themself out of their respective daxe, and I rise. Hugging them all, I thank them for their company.
"You don't know how good it feels that all of you came here for me."
"Hey, don't worry! We'll all be back, though probably not all at once for a while. I think we should make it a point for at least one of us to make it here at least every other day." Yugi suggests, and everyone nods.
"Hey, we love you, Ryou. And I'm sorry if I've been 'windy.'" Anzu ruffles my hair, and each of them tries to smother me in another embrace, all at once. I laugh enthusiastically, and I shove them out the door.
"Go! Don't make it so you can't come back!" When I see them outside, on the sidewalk past the yard and fence, I wave. Somehow, they see me, and all wave back. Flopping onto the cot, I yelp as I realize I'm on my chocolate. Shit. I stuff them under the pillow, and the rest of the gifts under the cot. Turning off the light and laying down, I think of my father, my friends, and my yami. How I was so lucky that my father didn't know of my homosexuality before I was locked away. How I'm so fortunate to have such spectacular friends. And how much I miss Bakura-sama. Ooh, that makes me seem so petty. If he were just some abusive baka, I couldn't care less. But I feel so attached to him, so stuck. Even when I'm away from him, he's still my master! I can't get him out of my head, my heart, my soul. Ugh. Just like Yugi said, there's some of him in me. But is there any of me in him? Wrapping myself in the blanket, I curl up. Is it my imagination, or is ther a bright light in here? I don't know, but I'm...
...falling...
...asleep...
****
Kai: O.O Well, some of that went berserk. The words in the language of the people that lived where Egypt is now? Real words, taken from /An Egyptian Hieroglyphic Reading Book for Beginners/ by E. A. Wallis Budge. Ugh. I will not call it ancient Egypt. It was not ancient back then, nor was it Egypt! And the Anzu-compliments? Just justifying her reason for existence. She's not really a bad character, in my opinion. Hell, in this story, she gives Ryou chocolate! Anyone that gives their friends chocolate is cool! Gimme? Leave it in your reviews! I'll need ideas, though. Is this cute, or crappy? Too cliche`, or is it unusual enough? I love you people. Gods, I'm a bloody sap. Oy. Some semi-citric stuff next chapter.
WARNINGS: This is an AU fic which includes such topics as insanity, self-harm, abuse, polytheism (belief in multiple Gods), Anzu-complimenting, and yaoi.
SUMMARY: When Ryou is institutionalized, he realizes that his friends understand him better than he thought. Multi-chaptered.
Pain of Confinement
Chapter One~ Welcomed Color
*Ryou Viewpoint*
It's cold. Bleak, sterile, empty. And it doesn't help the fact that they leave the air conditioning on constantly, or the fact that they make us wear these damned thin pajamas. My room is small, cramped, with a barred window that I couldn't even get my shoulders through. And there's white. All white. Heh, I have perfect camouflage! I give a sneaky little chuckle as I think of how easy it is to miss an albino, in white pajamas, in a white room. It's happened before, and they panicked when they couldn't find me. Heh, baka.
I press my hand to the cool glass, peering down at a crisp, grassy lawn. Bright, vivid green, and I smile at a young patient, only about ten, who waves up at me. I think of how lucky he is, to be allowed to go outdoors. Fresh air instead of filtered, the sweet smell of the trees instead of harsh sanitizers. I swear to the Gods that when I get out, I'm going to go live on a livestock farm. At least then, the smells would be natural.
The sun is shining brilliantly, making a little fountain sparkle. How great would it be, if I could just get out. But no, I'm not "safe." They fear that I will be harmed if I get near the water, or the trees, or the rosebush. No, that's not true. They fear I will harm myself.
Ridiculous! I have never entertained such ideas, nor have I ever joked about them. I am not suicidal, not masochistic, not in any way wishing harm upon myself or others. My scars are not my fault, but I hadn't managed to convince my father that they were instead caused by another. Of course, how can I prove it without getting in even more trouble with him?
For, you see, my father is ashamed of me. And I believe for a very ignorant reason. He is Anglican Catholic, and I am a polytheist. He had noticed when I had worn my ankh pendant after my sixteenth birthday. Yugi and his yami had gotten it for me, and I had been so exited. And I had thought that my father, Christian or not, would think it was cool, because he is a professor of archaeology. My, how wrong had I been! I don't think he could have been any less tolerant. He had condemned it as a "heathen cross of a primitive people." Ugh. Baka! Khem! Oh, great. Now I'm swearing like Bakura! Oy. For your information, that means "ignorant person."
But, that's when he had had me evaluated. Examined. Tests like mad, to determine if I was mad. And that's when they had found my scars. Not only a few, but many. All over my chest and shoulders, one or two on my arms. Mostly where Bakura had hit me, or knocked me down onto the furniture. Not scars caused by cutting or clawing myself. But the idiot physicians couldn't tell the difference, and they had immediately told my father that I was a threat to my own safety. He didn't care, he had practically said he hated me, but he now had a reason to have me locked away.
So here I am, three days into my solitude. "Father" hasn't visited, and I know he won't. I don't care, I feel betrayed. I've lost everything. My dueling cards ("They obviously have been encouraging godless and violent ideas."), my ankh ("Maybe if he doesn't have his pagan items, he will forget."), and mostly, the Millennium Ring. Because it is a pagan item. Because it has sharp points. And because it is gold. It had been pawned. Ooh, that had pissed me off to no end. It was mine! And, it had Bakura.
I grind my teeth as I think of my yami. It was his fault I had been stuck here. Yes, my "father" would have searched for another way to get me sent to the mental institution, but I'm certain I could have avoided it, if not for those bloody scars. Bakura-sama's fault I'm here, and his fault I am more miserable than ever. No television, no radio, no games, no visitors, no snacks, no friends. No Bakura-sama. I am not mad, but I'm surely on my way. Losing my mind to this bland semi-existence.
I lay down on the small cot, bolted down "for my safety," and sigh. Curling up under the thin sheet, I think of how much weight I must have lost. I eat, but I cannot stomach much food, so I send much away. I think if I had to eat one more Ausar-damned chicken soup, I'd puke.
I startle to a loud creak, and I turn to see the door open. "You have a visitor," the nurse murmurs, slowly, as though I cannot understand speech. Gods, woman! I'm bored, not slow! But then it registers. A visitor? "Many, actually."
"Nima-?" I ask, before realizing I am once again speaking the language of Kemet. I correct myself. "Who?"
My heart lurches and lightens as I see. Yugi! And Jonouchi, Honda, Anzu, and even the Kaiba brothers! I bolt up and wrap my arms around as many of them as I can get in one hug. "What the hell are all of you doing here? How did you get them to-" I am interrupted by Kaiba Seto.
"Well, I have some considerable sway in many places, and it only took a little persuasion to convince them that you should have more than one visitor." He gives a wink and a sly grin. I feel tears forming as I drag them all to sit near me. Even the colors of all of them make me feel better, and the human warmth is very comforting. And new smells! I had never imagined that being deprived would make me so sensitive to them. I cry on shoulders, each of them holding me for a time, and I revel in the touch. Even Kaiba gives me a warm embrace.
"Why did you all-"
"Ryou, we know how you feel. Maybe not exactly, but we all know what it's like to be stuck somewhere, when it's not your own fault." Yugi takes my hand in his, and I feel someone- probably Anzu- scratching my back gently. "But we have stuff for you!"
"Oh? What kind of stuff?" I look around, and see that they each have a paper bag. Yugi gives me his, first. I open it, and find cards. Dueling cards. My dueling cards!
"Neteru! Where did you get these?"
"Snagged them from your father's trash. Luckily, they were in a bag of all of your stuff, so they weren't damaged! We're saving your clothes for when you get out." I smile gratefully, and hug Yugi again. Jonouchi shoves his bag at me next. I laugh at his enthusiasm, and take it.
"No way! Jerkyjerkyjerkyjerky! Ankh neter, Jonouchi, how did you know I wanted this so bad?"
He shrugs. "Hell, I hear the food they serve here sucks, so I decided to get you some interesting food!" Then, Honda hands me his sack. Inside, I find my ankh! Squealing like I had used to on Christmas, I give him a high-five.
"Here, Ryou! There's a couple of things in there." Anzu gives me a sisterly peck on the cheek before relinquishing her gift. I start to drool as I pull out one thing. Chocolate!
"Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes! Arigatou, Anzu!" There are several bars in there, and I let them fall onto the bed. "Don't sit on them!" I caution my friends. "If you do, you're eating it!" Jonouchi makes a motion to flop onto them, but catches himself just in time, and gives me a joking little smirk. When I remove all of the candy, I find a small pack of emery boards.
"I remember you biting your nails whenever you were really antsy, and I know bitten nails get really jagged, and catch on fabric. Big pain. I would have brought clippers, to keep them short, or a file, but I know the damn nurses, if they caught you with them, would take them because they'd think you're going to hurt yourself with them. Hopefully, these won't be taken." I wrap my arms around her neck, and she pats me on the back.
Mokuba tosses his bag at me, and I feel it's something heavy. And sort of big. I growl as I fumble with it. Taped! Ugh. Oh, well. I'll get it. Hey, a book! A little paperback, of the Star Wars Episode Two novel! I give him a thumbs-up, and he returns it.
The elder Kaiba's turn. His gift is wrapped in tissue, as well, and when I unwrap it, there lies a small pocket computer, and a couple of games. My eyes bug, and I stammer, "What- how?"
"Anoo, moshi moshi! Have you forgotten that I'm filthy rich? Not to mention a technological phenomenon? I can afford it. And I'm doing it because I know that I'D be bored shitless here. With this, you can write, play games, draw, and listen to some music I've loaded into it. There are some earphones taped inside the bag." I flip the switch on the side of the device, and it starts an operating program that was probably designed by Kaiba himself. "And there's an antenna, so you can use it as a cell phone or to email people. I put all of our addresses and phone numbers in. Use the left earphone as a microphone when speaking or recording sounds. It won't interfere with any of the hospital's communications, so they won't even notice it if you keep it hidden. The battery is good for an entire month's worth of continual use, and I'll make sure you get a new one. You can pick up television signals, and I have you programmed to be able to get satellite channels. There's a digi-cam above the screen, so you can do live video or photos. Basically all you can't do with this, communications-wise, is broadcast on TV. That is, unless somehow you hack into the stations." He wears a guilty grin, and I wonder just how he managed to do it. Hm. Fun idea!
"Wow. Aww, thank you all! I know I'll probably never be able to pay you back for this, Kaiba-"
"Who gives a damn? It cost me, money-wise, practically nothing, and only a couple of hours putting it together. It was less to make than it would have if I had gotten you a standard, already-made pocket-PC. Just don't get the damn thing confiscated."
"Like I would! No way! I'm definitely keeping this well hidden."
"So Ryou, we really don't know the circumstances that well, just that your father's been a major baka. Would you fill us in?" Yugi asks gently, and I know that he's worried about offending or hurting me. I smile to reassure him.
"Thank you for asking. You don't know how much it means that all of you came here just to hear some semi-sane quiet kid vent."
"Hey, no problem!" Jonouchi rests his arm around my shoulders in a companionable hug, and I reach behind me for a Hershey bar (with almonds. ^_____^ yum). Unwrapping it and chomping into it, I tell them about my father's abhorrence of my paganism, how my scars from Bakura's abuse "incriminated" me (in the stupidest way possible), and how "dad" had pawned the Millennium Ring. When I finish, Yugi is clearly outraged.
"Ugh! That baka no baka! Khem khet khensh! Ankh neter, Ryou, I swear he's more khefti than Bakura!" Anoo, you may want translations. Khem khet: incompetant man. Khensh: stink. Ankh neter (did I use this already?): an oath by the Gods. Khefti: enemy.
"So your yami's got you swearing in the tongue of Kemet, too?"
He nods with a giggle, fondly clutching the chain of his puzzle, and I feel a sharp pang of regret and envy. He's so lucky that he has no kin disapproving of any of his actions or beliefs. And that his yami hasn't done anything to get him into as big of trouble as mine has. I know my small friend is in love with his other half, and I cannot blame him. It is nothing but natural to love your soulmate, and I've been secretly praying that Bakura-sama feels the same about me. With a frustrated sigh, I come to the conclusion that, even if he did, it's too late to find out.
My friends, however, notice my pensive mood. "What's wrong, Ryou?" Anzu askes politely. I shake my head.
"Nothing, really, I'm just thinking."
"Uh-oh! Y'know, thinking can really hurt," Jonouchi teases to lighten my mood. It doesn't help much.
"Agreed, but it's something that has to be done. I was just thinking about Bakura-sama." All of them flinch at my submissive term for my yami, but especially Honda.
"What about him? I would think you'd be glad to get rid of that jerk!" I wince, somewhat hurt by his insult.
"It's not that simple, Honda-kun," Yugi interferes. "Bakura-san is Ryou's yami. Just like Yami is mine. Bakura-san may not be that nice, but I know I need Yami, and so I think Ryou's feeling just about the same way I would if Yami were taken. Maybe a bit more confused, though, because he's not sure that Bakura-san returns his feelings. He sure doesn't seem to, but he's a pissy person anyway." I frown. "But that's not the point. The point is that Ryou and Bakura-san are two halves of a whole, and that neither is complete without the other. Like a yin-yang. There's a little bit of Yami in me, and a little bit of Bakura-san in Ryou, and you can't separate without causing pain."
I nod, wrapping my arms around myself as I think of all of the times my yami would beat me. He would curse at me, call me stupid, or weak, or say he should have a better "host," but looking back on it, I realize that he never once said that he hated me, or that he wished me gone, or dead. He never threatened my life, never held a weapon to me, never hit me on the head, and always patched up my wounds as best as possible. I suddenly find a wave of loneliness sweep over me as I admit to myself that I miss him. I allow a tear to fall, and someone- I think Yugi, the hand seemed small- brushes it away.
"Who knows? With all we've been through, I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up with him. I know everything's gonna be okay. The Ring belongs to you, and somehow, you'll get it back." I exhale deeply as I smile my thanks.
"So, when're you getting out?" Mokuba asks, and I grin wryly.
"Well, until I'm eighteen, I can't request a reevaluation for myself, and my father definitely won't. So, at least twenty-one more months." They gasp in unison, and, sadly, I hang my head.
"Ooh, that asshole! $@$*^#@%$&%#*#%^@$&^##^%*..." Kaiba goes into a cursing tirade, alternating between Nihongo, Mandarin, Ra em Kemet (the language of Kemet), Korean, English, Spanish, French, Hindi, Russian, and several other languages I can't identify. Mokuba's eyes grow wide, and he begins to giggle.
"Big brother! You're gonna get us kicked out, influence or no influence!" His words immediately have an effect on the elder Kaiba, and he regains his composure. Touched by all of their support, I grab them all in another group hug.
"Don't worry. This cell is soundproof. They wouldn't notice a bomb going off in here unless it blew the wall down."
"It is? Whoo! WHOO! PARTY!!!" Jonouchi hollers, jumping around like a maniac.
"Okay, I think the Inu needs to be in this kennel, not you!" Kaiba mutters, rolling his eyes, but I see a genuine shine of amusement in them. I grab Jonouchi's sleeve and yank him on his rear on the bed. Correction: Not on the bed. I missed. He wound up in Kaiba's lap.
"Hey, watch where you're throwin' me!"
"Yeah! Watch where you're throwing him!" They both squirm, but surprisingly, Kaiba doesn't shove him off. Nor does Jonouchi shove himself away from the billionaire. Their eyes meet, and I see a blush growing on their faces, before Jonouchi bashfully looks away. I realize something important has happened, that they have found something. And I think everyone in the room can see it. I feel slightly jealous, because of the fact that, clearly, they are attracted to one another. Clearly, something significant passed between them in that instant, that touched both of them to their cores. It was beautiful, that they had seen that, but I know that they'll have a rocky time. They'll have to talk it over. Lucky them.
Clearing his throat, Jonouchi scoots off of Kaiba's lap, and Kaiba shakes his head. Absently, he scratches behind the other's ear, and I can see a daze in their eyes. Wistfully, Kaiba slips his arms around Jonouchi, who, stunned by the ear-scratching (mmm. That seems like it would feel good. ~___________~. Uh-oh. Fantasizing about Bakura= me getting sleepy. Uh-oh.), leans into the embrace eagerly. I exchange glances with everyone else, and all of them have either an amused smirk or a,"Aaw!" tupe of smile. Neteru (Gods.). Getting SO envious here.
Yugi, with a shy grin, hugs his Millennium Puzzle to his chest, and I feel tears once again forming. Aaugh! Man, it seems like EVERYONE is with the one they love. Jonouchi and Kaiba, Yugi and Yugioh, Honda has Shizuka, and Mokuba's not really old enough. Wait. Everyone but Anzu is.
"Are you okay?" I whisper.
"Hai. I'm just thinking."
"Oh, no." She elbows me in the ribs for this.
"Oh, quiet. I'm just thinking about Yugi."
"That's clear enough. What about Yugi?"
"Oh, nothing. Nothing really. Just thinking about how perfect he and Yami are for each other."
"Are you jealous?" I hug her lightly.
"Iie. I guess I had been, and I do feel somewhat left out, but they're supposed to be together. Ever since Duelist Kingdom, I've been able to feel Yugi's really strong emotions, like fear or love, and it's never been stronger than when he's thinking about Yami." My eyes grow wide as I hear her confession. She sighs. "It sort of hurt, at first, because I do feel strongly for Yugi, but, well, I guess we're not meant to be."
"You'll find love, Anzu. You're too wonderful a person, even if you can be a little too optimistic for me to handle at times." She smiles at me, and I wink. "Someone's going to fall in love, and be very lucky. You're a great friend, and I think that someone who can be a great friend could also be a great soulmate. I don't really have much of a taste in females, but I think that you're very pretty, and I know I have a good taste in what's pleasant-looking, be it art, nature, or people. And you're so much smarter than a whole lot of people realize. True, you can be a bit long-winded, but you've definitely improved that, and you're often the first one to notice problems. And I've been told about a lot of situations in which YOU remember stuff, and remind others of it. During the duel with Pegasus, I heard that you were the one to reassure Yugi that, even though Pegasus had magic, Yugi did, too. Also, I DO think it's pretty cool that you can pick locks. I can, too, but it took me a long time to get it. And you were the one to realize that Kujaku Mai was trying to help Yugi in their duel, and a whole lot of stuff. You're a valuable friend, even though when I first heard one of your friendship-rants, I SO wanted to puke. You've really improved in that, though. When was the last time you went off on one of those? When dueling Mai, I believe, although you were jabbering on quite a bit about it during Yugi and Jonouchi's duel. But I wholeheartedly agreed with you, there. And besides, I DO admire the fact that you bitched out Mai. Not that I dislike her, but I do think she had it coming. I think-"
"Ryou, it's okay. I get it!" Anzu giggles. "You can shut up, now! And you say I'm windy!"
"Gomen." My face reddens, and I shake my blabberiness out of my head. Looking around, I see Honda-kun popping a stick of gum in his mouth. Yugi, his eyes glazed, is obviously speaking with Yugioh-san. Mokuba has pulled out a Gameboy, and his brother is still absently cuddling the now asleep-looking Jonouchi. Suddenly, the door creaks open once more.
"Eight-o'clock. No more visitors." The nurse's words, now crisp and quick. Well, decided I'm no longer stupid? Everyone shakes themself out of their respective daxe, and I rise. Hugging them all, I thank them for their company.
"You don't know how good it feels that all of you came here for me."
"Hey, don't worry! We'll all be back, though probably not all at once for a while. I think we should make it a point for at least one of us to make it here at least every other day." Yugi suggests, and everyone nods.
"Hey, we love you, Ryou. And I'm sorry if I've been 'windy.'" Anzu ruffles my hair, and each of them tries to smother me in another embrace, all at once. I laugh enthusiastically, and I shove them out the door.
"Go! Don't make it so you can't come back!" When I see them outside, on the sidewalk past the yard and fence, I wave. Somehow, they see me, and all wave back. Flopping onto the cot, I yelp as I realize I'm on my chocolate. Shit. I stuff them under the pillow, and the rest of the gifts under the cot. Turning off the light and laying down, I think of my father, my friends, and my yami. How I was so lucky that my father didn't know of my homosexuality before I was locked away. How I'm so fortunate to have such spectacular friends. And how much I miss Bakura-sama. Ooh, that makes me seem so petty. If he were just some abusive baka, I couldn't care less. But I feel so attached to him, so stuck. Even when I'm away from him, he's still my master! I can't get him out of my head, my heart, my soul. Ugh. Just like Yugi said, there's some of him in me. But is there any of me in him? Wrapping myself in the blanket, I curl up. Is it my imagination, or is ther a bright light in here? I don't know, but I'm...
...falling...
...asleep...
****
Kai: O.O Well, some of that went berserk. The words in the language of the people that lived where Egypt is now? Real words, taken from /An Egyptian Hieroglyphic Reading Book for Beginners/ by E. A. Wallis Budge. Ugh. I will not call it ancient Egypt. It was not ancient back then, nor was it Egypt! And the Anzu-compliments? Just justifying her reason for existence. She's not really a bad character, in my opinion. Hell, in this story, she gives Ryou chocolate! Anyone that gives their friends chocolate is cool! Gimme? Leave it in your reviews! I'll need ideas, though. Is this cute, or crappy? Too cliche`, or is it unusual enough? I love you people. Gods, I'm a bloody sap. Oy. Some semi-citric stuff next chapter.