KAIAL: REPOST! Damn computers don't get paragraphs sometimes! Thanks to all who reviewed first time!
Summary: When Jonouchi is arrested for Domino's new sodomy law, how far do his friends go to get that law revoked? HUMOR!!! YAOI!!! LEMON!!! Cross-dressing, thievery, lawsuits, orgies, etc.!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let's Have a Gay Time!
Chapter One~ Seto.
****
Grr. Baka laws! Stupid morons. THEY TOOK MY KOINU AWAY! I can't believe they didn't arrest me, too, but I AM filthy rich. Money can come in handy. One would think they'd be smart enough to release the LOVER of the richest man in Domino, as well.
I stalked into my office, fuming and plotting. Fuming and plotting. Fun combination! Especially the plotting. Whee! Revenge-time! Ooooo-kaaay. Time to lay off on the coffee. Or maybe on the chocolate. It makes me way hyper (nothing like Mokuba, though).
I quickly made my way to the bookshelf, picking up a volume on law. 'YAAAY! I get to play attorney! Ugh. Shut up, Kaiba Seto, before you make a baka out of yourself!'
Let's see, let's see. Aha! Idea!
I casually saunter into the courtroom, winking at my koinu with a smug smirk on my lips. Hehehehh. I sit beside him, and open my briefcase. These idiots don't even know with WHOM Jonouchi was caught having sex. They just know it was with another man. Perfect.
The judge nods at me; he's an old "friend" of the Kaiba name. I nod back, and gather my papers. They're not important, nothing but bullshit, but they are essential for my appearance. The trial begins, and the prosecution calls my inu to the stand. After swearing the "whole truth" thing, the questions begin.
"Are you homosexual or bisexual?"
"Are you a pig or an ape?" His response is hilarious, and I control my snickering.
"Wha-? I'm the one who asks questions, here! Now, are you gay?"
"No, I'm NOT gay! How can I be happy when I'm arrested?"
"NO! I mean do you favor men?"
"Over what, sea cucumbers?"
"NO! Over women!"
"I'll give both men and women favors. Next question?"
"UGH! Are you homosexual?"
"I'm a member of the species Homo sapiens, and I am sexual. Next question?"
"Do you have sex with men?"
"No. Next question?"
"But it has been said that you were having sex with a man on Tuesday. Is this true?"
"One man is not men. It is one man, the word 'men' implies more than one. Say what you mean. Next question?"
"ARGH! Did. You. Have. Sex. With. Anyone. Of. The. Male. Gender. On. Tuesday?"
"Define 'have.'"
"MAKE LOVE! SCREW! FUCK! LAY! SLEEP WITH! GET JIGGY WITH! ROMP WITH!"
"Wrong-oh! The definition of 'have' is 'own or possess, acquire, experience or engage in, cause, be obliged.' Some lawyer YOU are, you can't even get the definition of 'have' right!"
"SHUT UP!"
"I object!" I cry out. "The prosecutor is badgering the witness!"
"The 'witness' is not answering the questions!"
"You are apparently confusing him!"
"WHAT? He's the one confusing me!"
"Then I suppose he's correct, and you aren't much of a lawyer. Now, ask your questions, and don't yell at my client."
His fat face is crimson with anger, and I raise an eyebrow as he glares at me. He turns back to Jonouchi.
"Now, Jonouchi-san, I am only going to ask this once more. Did you fuck a man?"
"Katana-san! That is no language for a courtroom!" The judge yells at the corpulent attorney.
"He won't answer straight!"
"How can someone who's not straight answer straight?" My koinu asks cryptically. Good. I trained him well.
"You see? He's not straight!"
"I'm being ACCUSED of not being straight. Can you prove that?"
"Huh? I- uh, YES! You've incriminated yourself by your answers!"
"Can you prove that?"
"AAAUGH! YOUR WITNESS, KAIBA-SAN!"
Relieved, I step up to the stand. "Thank you, Katana-san. Now, Jonouchi Katsuya, do you find men attractive?"
"No." This fits my plan perfectly.
"Are you certain?"
"Yes, Kaiba-san." He only finds ONE man attractive. That's not "men."
"Damn. Oh, well." I suddenly grab him by the ears and pull him in for a lip-bruising kiss. "You're still mine, inu."
The entire courtroom bursts into an uproar, some laughing, some outraged, as I drag him, out of the witness' stand and onto me. We begin tearing at each others' clothing, moaning hotly and slobbering all over one another. I rip off his pants and begin to grope him, and he shouts, "Oh, YEAH, man! Give it to me! You're the hottest MAN I've ever had sex with!"
I gasp exaggeratedly, and put on a mask of shock. "WHAT? You've had sex with other MEN?"
He grins, and, flinging me on my back, straddles me. No. Only ONE MAN! You, Kaiba Seto. YOU are the HOTTEST MAN in the world! I LOVE YOU, MAN!"
"I love you, too, MAN!" I feel a hand grab my arm roughly, as I am dragged out from under my puppy. "NOOOOO! Give me my MAN! JONOUCHI!"
"SE-E-E-ETOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO!"
And we giggle madly as we are both arrested. Oh, well. Just step one of the plan!
Summary: When Jonouchi is arrested for Domino's new sodomy law, how far do his friends go to get that law revoked? HUMOR!!! YAOI!!! LEMON!!! Cross-dressing, thievery, lawsuits, orgies, etc.!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let's Have a Gay Time!
Chapter One~ Seto.
****
Grr. Baka laws! Stupid morons. THEY TOOK MY KOINU AWAY! I can't believe they didn't arrest me, too, but I AM filthy rich. Money can come in handy. One would think they'd be smart enough to release the LOVER of the richest man in Domino, as well.
I stalked into my office, fuming and plotting. Fuming and plotting. Fun combination! Especially the plotting. Whee! Revenge-time! Ooooo-kaaay. Time to lay off on the coffee. Or maybe on the chocolate. It makes me way hyper (nothing like Mokuba, though).
I quickly made my way to the bookshelf, picking up a volume on law. 'YAAAY! I get to play attorney! Ugh. Shut up, Kaiba Seto, before you make a baka out of yourself!'
Let's see, let's see. Aha! Idea!
I casually saunter into the courtroom, winking at my koinu with a smug smirk on my lips. Hehehehh. I sit beside him, and open my briefcase. These idiots don't even know with WHOM Jonouchi was caught having sex. They just know it was with another man. Perfect.
The judge nods at me; he's an old "friend" of the Kaiba name. I nod back, and gather my papers. They're not important, nothing but bullshit, but they are essential for my appearance. The trial begins, and the prosecution calls my inu to the stand. After swearing the "whole truth" thing, the questions begin.
"Are you homosexual or bisexual?"
"Are you a pig or an ape?" His response is hilarious, and I control my snickering.
"Wha-? I'm the one who asks questions, here! Now, are you gay?"
"No, I'm NOT gay! How can I be happy when I'm arrested?"
"NO! I mean do you favor men?"
"Over what, sea cucumbers?"
"NO! Over women!"
"I'll give both men and women favors. Next question?"
"UGH! Are you homosexual?"
"I'm a member of the species Homo sapiens, and I am sexual. Next question?"
"Do you have sex with men?"
"No. Next question?"
"But it has been said that you were having sex with a man on Tuesday. Is this true?"
"One man is not men. It is one man, the word 'men' implies more than one. Say what you mean. Next question?"
"ARGH! Did. You. Have. Sex. With. Anyone. Of. The. Male. Gender. On. Tuesday?"
"Define 'have.'"
"MAKE LOVE! SCREW! FUCK! LAY! SLEEP WITH! GET JIGGY WITH! ROMP WITH!"
"Wrong-oh! The definition of 'have' is 'own or possess, acquire, experience or engage in, cause, be obliged.' Some lawyer YOU are, you can't even get the definition of 'have' right!"
"SHUT UP!"
"I object!" I cry out. "The prosecutor is badgering the witness!"
"The 'witness' is not answering the questions!"
"You are apparently confusing him!"
"WHAT? He's the one confusing me!"
"Then I suppose he's correct, and you aren't much of a lawyer. Now, ask your questions, and don't yell at my client."
His fat face is crimson with anger, and I raise an eyebrow as he glares at me. He turns back to Jonouchi.
"Now, Jonouchi-san, I am only going to ask this once more. Did you fuck a man?"
"Katana-san! That is no language for a courtroom!" The judge yells at the corpulent attorney.
"He won't answer straight!"
"How can someone who's not straight answer straight?" My koinu asks cryptically. Good. I trained him well.
"You see? He's not straight!"
"I'm being ACCUSED of not being straight. Can you prove that?"
"Huh? I- uh, YES! You've incriminated yourself by your answers!"
"Can you prove that?"
"AAAUGH! YOUR WITNESS, KAIBA-SAN!"
Relieved, I step up to the stand. "Thank you, Katana-san. Now, Jonouchi Katsuya, do you find men attractive?"
"No." This fits my plan perfectly.
"Are you certain?"
"Yes, Kaiba-san." He only finds ONE man attractive. That's not "men."
"Damn. Oh, well." I suddenly grab him by the ears and pull him in for a lip-bruising kiss. "You're still mine, inu."
The entire courtroom bursts into an uproar, some laughing, some outraged, as I drag him, out of the witness' stand and onto me. We begin tearing at each others' clothing, moaning hotly and slobbering all over one another. I rip off his pants and begin to grope him, and he shouts, "Oh, YEAH, man! Give it to me! You're the hottest MAN I've ever had sex with!"
I gasp exaggeratedly, and put on a mask of shock. "WHAT? You've had sex with other MEN?"
He grins, and, flinging me on my back, straddles me. No. Only ONE MAN! You, Kaiba Seto. YOU are the HOTTEST MAN in the world! I LOVE YOU, MAN!"
"I love you, too, MAN!" I feel a hand grab my arm roughly, as I am dragged out from under my puppy. "NOOOOO! Give me my MAN! JONOUCHI!"
"SE-E-E-ETOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO!"
And we giggle madly as we are both arrested. Oh, well. Just step one of the plan!