Taste your WHAT?!

Disclaimer: This is fan-made. No money has been made in the making of this piece.

Summary: Asuma's a pervert, but he's sure his prey likes it, really!

Author's Note: …This fan fiction was inspired by…my brain.

Published: June 25 2009

Rating: T (Sexual Innuendo & Licking) ShikaChou (Faked) AsuChou

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After the Sasuke Retrieval Arc, to everyone's surprise the young Akimichi known as Chouji continued to stay slim, not that it didn't delight his mother who was happy that the slight depression her son kept hidden in his beautiful blue depths lessened greatly.

At almost sixteen years old, the blond was a woman-killer with his kind smile and even kinder heart; his handsome features only enhanced his caring personality further.

It was eleven in the afternoon when the short haired blond made his way over to his sensei's home, having been requested to get there sharply much earlier in the day. The air was dry and hot, unfortunately, even though it had been a while since the sun had set.

His cheeks were flushed a bit was his legs dragged him to his destination internally hoping that Asuma's house was cool.

When he finally made it, he was ushered inside quickly, but quietly which made the blond just a little suspicious. Did the older shinobi not want anyone to know that he was having the blond over at such a late hour?

No one probably wouldn't even care, besides mom, but she likes Asuma-sensei so I guess she would be okay with it, the teen thought as he took a seat in the brunet's living room quickly dosing off due to the coolness.

When he awoke, Asuma was squatting in front of him with a spoon in his hand grinning like a devil.

"Sensei?"

"Taste my ice cream?"

The look in the man's eyes spook only lies…

Looking down at the spoon, the blond eyed it warily before speaking.

"You're WHAT?!!! That's ice cream?"

"Yeah… What else would it be?"

After the famous "How Does My Milk Taste?!" incident three weeks ago, the blond was wary of all pure white liquids when around his sensei--his perverted sensei. Yesterday, he had strategically locked both Shikamaru and himself in a closet, demanding that they "go at it like dogs" or he wouldn't let them out. The genius was amazed that many precautions had been taken upon them entering the dark, roomy closet. All escaping jutsu were cancelled every time one attempted them, it was pitch black so they couldn't see a damn thing, it was quiet as hell, and it was so fucking hot inside of it, the two best friends could hear the other's labored breaths!

"Perverted bastard," Shikamaru muttered as he grasped where he thought his best friend was making the blond squirm and pull away the best that he could without injuring himself.

"Shikamaru?!"

The genius chuckled, speaking in an extremely quiet voice.

"We have to make this believable if we want to get out of here…"

"Wh-Wh--! But--! Where are you grabbing!? Stop that!!"

"You know where I'm grabbing sexy~"

"Nnn… St-stop…that…. A-Asuma-sensei is--"

"He's probably reading one of Kakashi-sensei's old books. Come on~"

"Shika--Mmmm…"

"Talented, ain't I?"

"Shhh! He might be listening! Shi-haaaa~!"

"Stop worrying about him. It's so troublesome! Are you grabbing my ass?"

"WH-WHAT!? No!"

Asuma twitched spasmodically at his teammates words, already imagining them in the throws of passion.

Thump.

Blinking, Asuma stared at the door leading inside of the closet. What was-?

Thump thump thump thump thump thump--!

"Shikamaru you dog!"

Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump--!

"Why are you so ti--!"

"D-don't! Don't talk about my inner workings while we're--AH~!"

"You like it…"

"Stop grabbing me so tightly Shika. It hurts…"

"Sorry. I can't see much in the damned dark!"

Chouji blinked out of the memory when something warm was slide onto his left cheek. His eyes grew wide was he wiped what he knew to be--! It was a white liquid that didn't look like ice cream at all!!!

"Taste my ice cream? It's freshly made~! Wanna see the source?"

Asuma stood in his kitchen with only half his body showing, his lower body hidden behind the open doorway that led into the kitchen, naked from the neck down.

"AHHHHHH!" 'Asuma's jizz is on my face! My FACEEEEE…AND MAH HANDS!!!!'

Wiping them on the nearest available surface, Chouji assured Asuma that he never wanted to see his manly bits or tasted his jizz or even speak to him at any given time of the day!

Racing out the door back to his home--he was safe there-- Chouji didn't look back as Asuma stared, dumbfounded. He then walked into his living room, stopping short of passing his couch wearing a pair of thin pajama bottoms.

In his hands was a small bowl with a matching spoon.

"I guess he doesn't like slightly melted homemade ice cream…"

Licking the spoon he held, the brunette closed the door and retired to his room where his recording of "Shikamaru and Chouji Trapped In My CLOSET!" was waiting to be played, several times.