The usual blah, blah, blah about not owning any of the characters except Alison. Has rape, language, incest, and all the usual stuff that makes people read these things.

THE UNDERSTANDING OF ANGEL WINGS

Setting- Alison is six years older that HP so this is the year before he comes to school.

Pairings- Severus Snape & Alison Grey

Warnings- Spoilers, rape, sex, incest, language, blah, blah, blah.

PLEASE REVIEW!!!

The Beginning of Everything

Severus Snape was sitting in his chair at the staff table. He never paid much attention to the first years being sorted, unless, of course, he heard the name of his own house called out. His scanned the crowd, searching for any obvious Slytherins. A very small girl caught his eye. She was staring at him. That was a first. Most first years were afraid of him, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

But this girl looked at nothing but him. Her eyes seeing through him in the way that Albus Dumbledore's eyes had always done. Instead of Albus's blue eyes though, hers were white. Not blind white, but like a ring of black around bone. Her gaze never wavered.

Severus looked away as she was called to be sorted. As if through a tunnel he heard the hat's voice.

"Ravenclaw!"

The summer before 5th year

On top of me my father, thrust in harder and harder. He rotated between squeazing my breasts, my ass, and slapping me hard enough to put spots in my vision. I had learned to stop fighting a couple years ago, but I still hated the bastard. As he gave off a guttural yell of release I closed my eyes. Three more days. Just three and I would be safe, for at least a little while.

5th year

I roamed through various cabins as the train rolled along. My best friend Theo gave me a sarcastic look as some third year boys walked past us wolf whistling. We worked our way through the crowd. We found a cabin towards the middle of the train and sat down. Theo and I ruled this school. We were the Queen Bitches and had been since second third year. I was in love with this school. I was loved here, I was happy here, and as long as I kept my home life secret, I could do whatever I wanted here. Theo was the only one that I would tell that to.

"It happened again this summer didn't it, Al? God, you have to tell someone about this." We'd been friends since birth practically. I was thankful for that, it meant that we weren't just friends for image.

"Of course it did. And who would I tell? Dumbledore? He'd just try to be my therapist then go secretly kill my dad. And I can't imagine anyone else who would be able to stand a chance against my dad. Snape maybe, but that bastard wouldn't do a thing. Probably just laugh and say I deserved it." I hadn't left Snape alone since my first year. I made sure to always annoy the hell out of him and get good grades to piss him off even more.

"How are you going to deal with this then? You can't keep going on like this. You know he'll make you come back for holiday. Al, he's treating you even worse. I can see the bruises through your shirt." I looked down at my white tank top. Sure enough bruises spreading out from under my bra were visible though the shirt.

"I'll find a way, Theo. I just have to last long enough to come of age-"

"But that's two years from now! He could kill you by then! I do not want to spend my time finding something to wear to your funeral." I moved from my seat to curl up next to her. Even though I was actually three months older than she was, I had always been really small. She was at least five ten, maybe five eleven. I was five three, with no meat on my bones from practically being starved to death all summer.

She pulled me to her lap and I fell asleep with her humming softly. I didn't wake up until we came to school.

I sat next to Theo at the seats we had claimed in our first year. We were surrounded by boys in all years and a couple hopeless wanna-bes, none of which had any chance. Dumbledore gave his usual blah speech and everyone dug in. I never had to watch what I ate; I always burned the calories off within a few hours. As I reached for some strawberries, something at the head table caught my eye. Well, rather someone. Snape was obviously sneaking glances in my direction. He really was terrible at hiding it. I flipped him the bird when he next looked and I could almost see the steam blowing out his ears. Nothing to take the mind off rape/incest like bugging the shit out of Snape.

Theo winked at me. She already had a couple of hotties attached to her arms. She was putting me to shame! I lowered my eyelids and leaned forward over the table showing off what nature had given me. I hoped that I had put on enough cover up to hide the bruises and cuts.

The next morning I was the first up in my dorm. I made myself look my best and headed down to breakfast before Theo, Amber, Shellsea, or Yvette had even woken up. I took my seat and surveyed the almost empty Great Hall. No sane person would be up this early. A few of the Weasleys, some random Slytherin bitches, and some Hufflepuff creeps. And of course it's just my luck that Snape was insane, too. He sat at the staff table "reading" the Daily Prophet. Must be a really interesting article. Our head of house walked into the hall rather clumsily, and made a bee line for me.

"Miss Grey, your schedule. Have a good day, young lady." Double Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology, lunch, OH FUCK! Double Potions to end the day. That'll be interesting.

As more kids filtered into breakfast, I risked a glance at Snape. He was openly staring at me.

Theo and I walked into the dungeon class room like goddesses. After a day in school we looked messy, rugged, and hotter than anything this school had ever seen. We definitely turned heads. Surprise, surprise, Snape was one of them. Greasy git. My curly black hair bounced wildly as I walked to the back of the class room. Rule number one for popularity: Position yourself where it'll be obvious to see who's watching you. Snape used the excuse of glaring at me to check me out. Just to see his reaction I dropped my pencil next to my desk as he stalked by. I made sure to take extra long picking it up. As I sat back down Theo and I giggled to each other. I could always trust her to understand everything I did.

All through the incredibly boring lesson I made sure to catch Snape every time he looked at me. Which was a lot. I probably should have just watched him the whole time but I had to make sure that I didn't leave out any of the eye candy that was in this class. When it was time for us to start brewing an incredibly boring potion, I looked around the class again. Off in a corner, I could see trouble brewing. A Hufflepuff had already messed his potion up enough to create an explosion big enough to blow up half the castle. As if in slow motion I watched Snape walk over to him with an evil grin that reminded me of…that reminded me of my father.

"What on Earth do you think you are doing, boy? I told you to put the lace wing flies in after the bicorn horn! Then you put the porcupine quills in and stir three counter clockwise, six clockwise, and nine counter clo-"

"God, Professor, could you be a bit more hostile? He just needs help! That's what you're supposed to do. You are a teacher!" I stood from my stool and walked briskly over to the cauldron. I added the right amount of Monkshood to counter the potion and glared at Snape before I returned to my seat.

"Miss Grey, you will see me after class to discuss your detention. You are not off to a good start, Miss Grey." The bell rang a while later and I told Theo to go ahead of me.

"When, where, and with who?" I gave him a cold, bored look as he sat haughtily behind his desk.

"You are to serve it with me, at seven o'clock tonight. At that time please report here." I nodded curtly and left.

I fumed as I walked up to the common room. I couldn't believe that on my first day I had a detention with Snape. I answered the stupid riddle that was the password to my house. Inside there was practically no one. Who would be back from dinner this early anyway? No one with detention that was for sure. I wouldn't have minded as much had it not been for the way he kept looking at me. Usually I tried to get detention so that I could drive him insane, but I it'll probably go the other way tonight. Dammit!

I finished the little homework that I had, and watched the clock count down until six fifty-five, then I headed down to the dungeons. As I knocked on his door, Snape called out for me to enter. Inside I had to blink a few times before I got used to what I was seeing. Snape…without his black robes…in plain black pants and a button down, white shirt. What universe had I come into?

"Oh, yes, Miss Grey as you can see I am very busy brewing and it is a particularly difficult potion, so you will make sure to stay quiet." God, why does everything this man say sound like an innuendo? "You will be putting these ingredients back into my private store," what the hell? "They should all be in the right order, understood?"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees…"

"Miss Grey, the fact that I am not in my teaching attire does not dismiss the formality between us. 'Yes', what?" Oh. My. God. The man is so fucking conceited! How can he possibly think that I don't know he is dressed like that on purpose? Though it does suit him…

"Yes, sir. I'll try not to breathe, Professor Snape." He rolled his eyes and went back to filtering powdered unicorn horn. I stepped into the store cupboard. I worked for at least ten minutes before the silence started to get to me. I started to sing under my breath. For the last couple years I've been on a Beatles kick. I kept putting away jars and boxes of ingredients as I sang Across the Universe. I turned to get another jar and noticed Snape standing in the door way.

"Yes, professor?"

"Just making sure that you were putting everything back right."

"You get serenaded by students often?"

"More often than you would expect."

"I can't tell whether that's disturbing or hilarious."

"Neither can I, but I'm sure my reasons are different." I suddenly realized what I was doing. I was having a normal friendly conversation. With Severus Snape. What the hell was wrong with me? He seemed to notice what he was doing as well, but he didn't leave the door way.

"What do you need, sir?"

"This." He walked up to me and reached up, over my head. His body surrounded me and I started to panick. I knew that he was just reaching for a jar, but I was so familiar with being surrounded, with feeling small, with feeling violated. I shrank down into a tiny ball on the floor, making myself as small as possible. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was in danger. Snape was so much bigger than me, stronger than me, and I knew what he could do with a few simple spells.

"Miss Grey?" I couldn't look up at him at all. I was pressing my back harder and harder against the wall behind me.

"Miss Grey what is it? Are you alright? What can I do?" Why is he being so nice to me? He's never been nice to me. If anything he's worse to me than he is to any of the other students!

"Please, Miss Grey…" I looked up at him over my arms that I was using to cover my face. He was crouching down next to me and looked like he didn't know what to do. That was a first…

"Can you move back please?" He stood up and moved so that he was almost out of the small room.

"What is it, Miss Grey? Are you hurt?" I chose my words carefully and stood up.

"I'm…going to be alright. You can go back to brewing, Professor." He gave me a strange look and walked back over to his cauldron. I shakily moved to pick up another jar of ingredients. I looked at the label and saw that it was supposed to be placed on a high shelf. I moved the ladder over to where I needed it and climbed up. Even with the ladder I still had to reach really high. All the sudden a screaming pain shot down from my shoulder. I dropped the jar and fell off of the ladder. I hit the ground hard which made a loud snap come from my same shoulder. I screamed from the pain that was tearing into me from my shoulder. I barely registered that Snape had come back into the room. He lifted me from the floor and brought me to the outer room.

"Miss Grey! Miss Grey look at me! Do you want me to take you to the hospital wing? Or do you want me to deal with this here?"

"Here." I choked it out through my tears.

"Okay you need to calm down and listen to me. What is it that snapped?"

"M-my shoulder." The pain was making it hard to focus on his face, but his voice ran crystal clear through my mind. I never noticed how nice it sounded before.

"Okay I'll need to look at it to see what the problem is. Turn around and pull your shirt off of your shoulder. Do you understand?" I was shaking hard, and it only got worse when I thought of having part of me bare in front of an older man. I turned anyway and unbuttoned my shirt as best I could. I pulled it off of my shoulder.

I gasped as he pressed his hands to the spot where the pain seemed to be coming from. I cried out as his warm hands traced along the line of my shoulder blade. Then his hands were gone and I could hear his footsteps as he went to get something. I lowered my head and just cried. About my dad. About my shoulder. About my mom. About my whole fucking life! How the hell did I end up here? Crying to Severus Snape in a freezing dungeon about a shoulder injury that I probably got from the times that my own father raped me. Talk about depressing.

Snape returned and sat down in front of me holding out a bottle of greyish blue potion. I looked up at him quizzically before I took it and drank it down. Instantly I felt the pain in my shoulder go down. Snape handed me a tissue and I accepted it. Wiping my tears away helped me to see better. I looked at Snape's eyes and saw not pity exactly, but protectiveness.

"You didn't get that just from that fall. Do you want to tell me how you got it?"

"No, but you would just force feed me Veritaserum and have me tell you anyway."

"No I wouldn't. You have a right to keep your life to yourself."

"Stop making me want to tell you." I didn't know what the potion was doing to my mind, but I decided that I might as well go along with it.

"Who did this to you? I can protect you. It's my duty as your teacher to make sure you don't get harmed." He put his hand over my knee, and then thought better of it when I almost jumped out of my seat.

"It was my dad." I looked down, but he brought my chin back up with the tips of his fingers.

"Has he been beating you like this all summer?"

"He's been raping me for the last couple years, but it started getting more violent this summer." I started to cry again and he put his hands on the sides of my face, to keep my focus. It wasn't working, though. I kept going back to those nights when Dad would come into my room, already naked, and crawl under my sheets. Then he would say how he wouldn't hurt me. How I was a good girl. How I was his special girl. He would move his hands up my pj shirt and squeeze my breasts hard enough for them to bruise almost instantly. Then he would remove my shirt, and my pants and start beating me senseless, in time with every thrust.

"Focus on me, Alison. Focus on me. I am what is real. You are safe. You are in Hogwarts castle. He can't get you here." Snape voice cut through my mind like a knife. I snapped my head back to look at him. His black hair. His black eyes. His pale skin. His broad shoulders, strong arms. I stopped crying again. Had he really just called me by my first name?

"Do you want me to get Dumbledore?" I shook my head.

"Can I have some water, sir?" He got up and went out to another room. When he came back he carried to glasses of water, one of which he handed to me.

"What is it you would like me to do, Al-Miss Grey?"

"My name is Alison! I don't need your fucking help!" My yell rang from the walls. I stood from my chair and left the dungeon. I ran back up to Ravenclaw tower and into the dormitory. I was thankful that everyone was either asleep or still out sneaking about the castle. Except Theo, of course. She sat up in her bed when I walked through the door.

"What happened, Al? What did he do to you?" She beckoned for me to come sit on her bed.

"I told him, Theo! I can't believe I told him." I whispered back to her.

"Did he make you tell him? Probably poisoned you…I'll get the bastard."

"He didn't poison me. I was sorting ingredients for him and when I had to climb on the ladder my shoulder hurt and I fell and hit my shoulder on the floor and he fixed my shoulder and he asked me how I got hurt, because he knew that it wasn't just from the fall and-and-"

"Calm down Al! You're okay now. I've got you. We can deal with things later." She rocked me to sleep in her arms.

A/N- Like it? Hate it? Please review!!! Should have another chapter soon.