Welcome to my perverted version of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas! Enjoy!
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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for my spouse.
You see Sasuke had to work very late tonight,
He's a very busy man, but a loving husband in spite.
-
Our children were nestled all snug in their beds,
Well, our 'children' are dogs, great dane thoroughbreds!
So, I, Uzumaki Naruto, in my sleeping cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang up to see what the hell was the matter.
-
Away to the window I scrambled and tripped,
Yanking open curtains that I almost ripped,
And the moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below..
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Some man on the lawn, late at night? How queer!
With the red suit and beard hanging from his jaw,
I thought, "It kinda looks like Santa Claus.."
-
He stumbled and looked around as if struggling to stand,
It must be the sack he had with him, held in his hand.
He mumbled quietly, I couldn't hear much of it,
But I think he said "Why am I carrying all this shit?!
I should of had it delivered from UPS...
Oh well, at least I don't have to carry the rest."
He walked to the door as he silently plotted.
Sniggering as if he had not yet been spotted.
Well too bad, 'St.Nick' phoney, this day will be your last!
Because I, Uzumaki Naruto, will kick your ass!
-
He won't get away for breaking into my place,
He won't think it's funny after I punch in his face!
So as he fumbled with the locks I snuck quietly down,
And through the door he came with a bound!
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his feet,
And his beard had fallen off since it was so cheap.
But wait, this Santa's hair is black, not white!
And I suddenly knew who he was by sight.
-
His eyes -- dark and sexy! His body had grace!
And I recognized the smirk plastered on his smug face.
Oh that smirk, it made me want to do naughty things,
But then that's what he'd want, that king of kings..
Unfortunately, a step make a creaking noise,
And he turned to stare, smiling with secret joys.
Sitting on the love seat, he patted his lap,
Though it was most likely an innocent trap.
Nevertheless, I sat myself down without pause,
And I started into the eyes of my dear Santa Claus.
-
"So, what would you like?" 'Santa' asked me,
And I could tell from his lap he was eager to please.
Whispering in his ear, I told him my needs,
And his smile turned devious, with thoughts of naughty deeds.
So then he picked me up bridal style,
And he took me upstairs and we kissed for a while,
Then we went into bed and turned off the lights,
And settled down that long winter's night.
-
So I didn't get to beat anyone up, but that's okay,
Because I got to spend Christmas with my lovely Sasuke...
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Awww, wasn't that sooooo cute and delicious? Anyways, Happy Holidays everyone! God bless!