Title: No Restraints 1/1
Author: kaesaku (baka_kitsune_chan@hotmail.com)
Warnings: This contains yaoi(m2m), not edited and first-timer..(pls. don't be mean, pls don't be mean..)
Pairings: HanaRuHana, SenRuSen
Rating: PG (i think..)

**Standard disclaimers apply.

(The whole fic is in Rukawa's pov.)

What have I done?

I asked myself the same question over and over again, 'til my head became numb with it. Still, I can't believe I did it.

I stared at the person in front of me. The shock and surprise that I felt were mirrored on his own face.

I don't know what to say. What is there to say anyway?

Why did I do it? Out of frustration? Of anger? To prove something? Or just for the thrill of it?

I really don't know.

Why? Why did I kiss this boy?

Why did I do it when I know that I am bound to hurt someone?

Someone...

My gaze shifted from the boy in front of me to the door just behind me.

Someone...

My heart dropped when I saw who was standing there.

Someone...

He looked as if he has just seen a ghost.

So vulnerable, so fragile...

And it's all because of this.

This.

How can I be so stupid to think of doing a thing such as this?

His hands gripped the sides of the door and I can almost see blood flowing on his pale hands. And his eyes...

His eyes...

Never have I seen so much emotion playing in the eyes of that do'aho.

My do'aho...

I moved a step toward him, to explain everything that he saw, to ask him to take me in his arms and forgive me...

But he was gone.

He was gone before I can even call out his name.

I stood helplessly, not knowing what to do. As if my feet were planted on the ground.

Then, I felt a light touch on my shoulder.

"What, Sendoh?"

Now, I am really frustrated. The last thing I wanted to do was deal with him.

"Go after him."

I looked at him blankly, unsure if what I heard was actually what he said.

"You love him, Kaede. Are you just going to let him slip away?"

This must be a hallucination.

My past love telling me to run after the do'aho? Weren't we just kissing a moment ago?

"It is obvious that I lost to him. And I'm cool with that." He smiled.

That smile...

It brings back memories, both good and bad. But I don't dwell in those anymore. I know what I want.

"Go. It's never too late."

I looked at him for the last time, then I ran as fast as I could.

What happened was partly his fault, but after what he told me. I couldn't bring myself to hate him.

Sendoh just released me from our past.

Now, I can love Hanamichi with no restraints.

Hanamichi...

-owari-

kaesaku: yay! my first fic ever! *jumps up & down* gomen, if the ending's a bit abrupt. bows it wasn't supposed to end yet, but this is my first time & i really don't know how to end it.. smiles shyly anyway, sank yu for reading, minna-san! don't be too harsh while reviewing, onegai.. ja! ;)

**can also be found at Slam Dunk Babble Club