CHAPTER ONE
you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
— e.e. cummings
The cold stung his scalp, and for the seventh time that hour, Zuko wished he hadn't shaved his shaggy hair into the traditional phoenix tail. Blasted South Pole, he bemoaned, missing the humidity of the Fire Nation. Even the stale air aboard his ship was preferable to this blizzard— at least the temperature onboard didn't numb his limbs.
He didn't have to freeze out here. He could swallow his pride and return to the igloo where at least the winds wouldn't buffet him from every angle, creeping into his parka the way he wished she would…
"Zuko?" The worried voice cut through the flakes of snow and his unbidden thoughts.
She. The reason he was freezing his butt off in the first place. Her shadowy figure struggled through the snowdrifts to reach his side. Katara.
Unbidden, she reached one furry mitten up to stroke the shaved side of his head. He flinched.
"You're cold," she murmured. It was stupid, she knew, a stupid way to start a conversation with someone she knew so well. But with his scowling mouth, Zuko looked less like the Fire Lord she knew today and more like the prince who chased her around the globe over half a decade ago.
He did not turn to face her. His fists stayed clenched. He could not will his neck to move. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her parka hood pulled tightly so only her nose poked out.
"You know, if you hate sea prunes so much, Gran Gran can bring you some smoked sea slugs," she offered. A weak attempt at a joke. He did not take the bait, but he watched her tan nose crinkle.
Curse her cute nose. Zuko gave in. "If Sokka hasn't eaten it all," he groaned.
Her nose perked up.
"You should be inside with your guests," Zuko said, letting his golden eyes linger on her figure. "Aren't you supposed to be receiving their gifts?"
"You are my guest," Katara pointed out. "I'm greeting you."
"I'm beginning to suspect you're avoiding your guests," he scolded.
"There are just so many of them and I don't… I don't feel well tonight," Katara muttered, making Zuko's stomach flip like a tiger seal in the arctic water. "And I've missed you." She reached one mitten out to grab his arm.
It was too familiar. Zuko jerked his arm away, smarting. "Katara, I can't."
Her face fell, or at least what he could see of it from her fur-rimmed hood. "You came," she faltered.
"I couldn't avoid it. The Fire Lord owes the Avatar his public support."
Mentioning Aang was a low blow, one that left her gasping for air but that also warmed her chest.
"Thank you for fulfilling your duty," she ground out stiffly.
"Iroh sends his regards."
"I wish he could have attended."
"Without him leading the council in my absence, I would return and find they married me off to the highest bidder!" Zuko's joke fell flat.
Katara shifted uncomfortably at his side. "Come inside before you freeze."
Spirits, now she is upset. He couldn't leave her like this. There wouldn't be a chance for him to do this moment over again. Although the longing that crashed through his heart in waves urged him to pin Katara to the ground, he clenched his teeth and proffered his arm.
"Ambassador," he prompted gallantly. Thankfully, wonderfully, she rested her mitten in the crook of his elbow. The goosebumps prickling up Zuko's spine could not be attributed just to the ice. The smooth side of his face turned a shade of pink that matched his rough scar. Every inch the Fire Lord, Zuko escorted the Water Tribe diplomat to the lodge. They said nothing as they fought against the wind to return, but he felt the cool pressure of her arm against his and everything felt right in his world. If only for a moment.
Inside the lodge, the temperature rose by several degrees, but Katara felt warmth leave her body as she let go of Zuko's arm. She shook the snowflakes from her parka as she disrobed, hanging the overcoat in the entryway to dry during the festivities.
Zuko missed a step as he turned to hang up his coat and saw Katara in the light. Her thick white robes flowed around her, hugging her breasts and hips before pouring to the floor like a waterfall. Fluffy fur trimming lined the hem, skimming the floor. A clumsily carved ivory disc dangled from her neck on an orange cord. Her chocolate hair hung in waves down her back, and her usual hair loops were pinned at the nape of her neck. When she turned to grin at him, the small sapphires pinning the hair loops back glinted in the light.
Zuko was drowning. He couldn't suck in a proper breath with her smiling like that. Like she used to.
"Let's face the zoo," she chuckled, laying her bare hand on his sleeve. So he was to escort her again. For a moment, he thought to chastise her— who did she think she was using him when it was convenient for her? But he was too greedy for moments like these, especially when these moments between them would soon disappear forever.
They swept through the sturdy doors and into the great hall. Heads turned and conversations petered out as the assembled Water Tribe guests cheered for Katara and her escort walking through the doors. Katara inclined her head towards the crowd on either side of them, reserving a special smile for her father, Chief Hakoda, who stood at the head of the largest table. The sheer look of pride Hakoda shot his daughter made Zuko's insides coalesce. Jealousy cascaded through his veins. When had his own father ever looked at him like that? Even after Azula lied to their father, claiming that Zuko killed the Avatar, Ozai still reserved that pride for Azula. Zuko shook his head to clear his mind, all thoughts of his family disappearing when Katara's lips brushed his ear.
"Look at Suki!" she whispered and nudged him in the direction of her sister-in-law. Zuko raised his eyebrows at Katara in response when he noticed Suki's round stomach. She could barely squeeze into the bench running along her table! Sokka hovered next to her, patting her belly every few minutes as if to make sure the baby was enjoying the feast. At the rate he was shoveling tiger seal stew into his mouth, it looked like Sokka was the one eating for two.
"So there will be another Water Tribe brat running around here?" the Fire Lord teased.
Katara snickered. "Zuko! Not just any Water Tribe brat. The second in line for the chiefdom."
"Remind me again why your father thinks it's a good idea to let Sokka lead the tribe next year?"
She winked. "I haven't the faintest idea."
Zuko soaked up the weight of Katara's arm against his, the regal tilt of her chin. The lanterns hanging from the tall, transparent ceiling cast a glow across her face. The glow disguised her blush as she felt his skin heat up through his tunic. The intricate embroidery on her robes glittered slightly when she walked. If Zuko didn't know better, he'd swear the embroidered swirls were white hot flames, licking up the sides of her dress. They strolled down the ice floor, between long wooden tables that held Water Tribe delicacies and feasting revelers.
At the far end of the hall, Aang waited on one of two tall chairs draped in thick, grey pelts. His neatly trimmed beard did nothing to hide his ear-to-ear grin as he watched his two Masters approach arm in arm. As the two benders neared the chairs, Aang forgot Zuko was there. How could he pay attention to the Fire Lord when Aang's bride hung on his arm? Zuko faded away in comparison.
Aang sighed dreamily. Katara's dress sparkled subtly, like her blue eyes when when they watched the sunset from Appa's back. She bent towards Zuko, who spoke softly in her ear, and she giggled when she pulled away. Seeing them get along still amazed Aang, who had broken up several fights between the two of them when Zuko first started teaching him fire bending. If they could get along, Aang was positive he could help all of the Four Nations keep the peace.
Although the monks taught him patience, Aang felt like he might explode from excitement. He dashed up to the pair, bowed deeply to Zuko, and hugged Katara. She slowly let go of Zuko to embrace Aang.
Her husband, Zuko sniffed distastefully. Well, almost husband. Tonight was the feasting and the gifting, tomorrow morning the ceremony. Tonight, she was still Katara. Tomorrow, she was the Avatar's wife.
With a wave to Zuko, Aang grabbed Katara's wrist and pulled her towards their chairs. "You look great!" he exclaimed and placed a kiss on her cheek. Zuko grimaced, but no one noticed. Their eyes were on the couple who took their seats and watched Chief Hakoda rise from the nearest table.
"My daughter has chosen well," he boomed, eliciting cheers from the hall. "Once, Katara told me that a wise old fortuneteller predicted she would marry a very powerful bender, which is why I wasn't surprised when Aang came to me to ask for her hand. While he is an exceptional bender, he is not a first rate craftsman."
Aang blushed. Katara suppressed a guffaw. Zuko snickered.
Hakoda continued, "Aang struggled to construct a watertight wedding canoe. It took longer for him to carve the traditional betrothal necklace than it takes Sokka to return from a polar seal hunting trip. But he persisted and tonight we celebrate his efforts which have not gone in vain. For tomorrow, Aang will join our tribe as he joins hands with my daughter, Katara."
Zuko's growl of frustration was drowned out by applause. He stood awkwardly near the seated couple. Though he wanted nothing more than to snag a seat at the opposite end of the hall, he thought it might be rude to move as Hakoda's speech mesmerized the crowd.
"As Chief of the Southern Water tribe, but more importantly as the her father, I wish to be the first to congratulate Katara on her union," said Hakoda as he approached the bride and groom carrying a massive wolf pelt. "I bless her and the Avatar with happiness all the days of their lives."
Katara stood to hug her father. Aang accepted the skin with a bow.
"My warriors and I found this wolf on our last winter hunt," Hakoda announced. "I caught the beast. I thanked the spirits for its life, and I skinned it, all the while remembering a similar pelt that your grandfather gave me many years ago as I stood in your place with your mother by my side. Now I give this pelt to you to bring you comfort and remind you of home as you travel far from here. May it keep you and your husband warm as you continue your efforts to maintain balance among the Four Nations."
The Chief's daughter lit up as she threw her arms around Hakoda. Once Katara broke free, Aang shook his hand. Then the Avatar reached his hands around Katara's back. Her eyes glided across the room, landing on Zuko for a moment, pulling away as Aang pulled her in. She refocused her attention on Aang, attempting to push Zuko's steady gaze and twisted mouth out of her mind. Aang beamed down at his bride, drawing a sigh from the onlookers— Zuko winced— and then kissed her so sweetly that Zuko almost mistook the kiss as a child's for his mother.
He turned his back on the couple. He passed Northern and Southern Water Tribe members mingling together. He noticed his men from the Fire Nation queuing up at the buffet. He saw the sizable Earth Kingdom delegation showing off their stomach capacity in a race to drink the most. Zuko made a mental note to avoid their tables in a few hours.
Waving at Sokka, who was attacking his dinner at a table next to the bride and groom, Zuko headed towards the entryway. His stomach complained, but Zuko knew he would spend the rest of the evening obsessing over the impending encounter if he didn't present his ceremonial gift to bride and groom now. The line forming in front of the couple steadily grew, but Zuko rationalized that the wait would only grow. He retrieved the package from the coatroom and joined the queue.
A mustached earth bender marched up behind him. "Zuko?" he asked, patting the Fire Lord on the back.
"Haru," he said, cringing at the touch.
"It's been a while," Haru said. Zuko nodded. "Must've had a long journey to get here."
"It was pleasant, thank you."
Haru ignored his frosty tone. "What a line." He shook his head ruefully.
"Indeed."
"Looks like half the Southern Water Tribe has come out to mourn the loss of their most eligible lady."
"To congratulate the Avatar, you mean."
"Sure. That too. But look at all the single men in line. We can't all be here just for Aang."
"Of course not. We're also here to congratulate Katara, a fine diplomat to whom we owe the continuation of peace."
"She's one amazing woman." Haru chuckled. "Gods, haven't we all had a crush on Katara at one point or another?"
Precise control. That was what Zuko must demonstrate now. To master lightning, he mastered self-control. This was just another drill in the courtyard. Not a battle with high stakes and a losing streak. His breathing did not waver, although his heart skipped a beat. "Speak for yourself," he gritted. Haru laughed.