Interviews with the Bhaalspawn
Prologue:
Stories, by their very nature, beg to be told. They inspire all manner of feelings, whether those be uplifting tales of heroism and valor, or dark warnings of terror and foreboding. They ring forever in the memories of the listener, for so long as the teller may speak and the listener cares to remember. And yet, all tales may- must, even- come to an end. The speaker, the listener, even those around which the tale revolves... all must eventually take their bow, move on with their lives. Nothing lasts forever.
Or does it? That may have been the wry question that the gentleman in the corner of the upstairs floor of the Copper Coronet posed to himself as he nursed his third ale, forcing himself to be patient as he watched and waited. Surely it could not be long now. Not to say that the subjects of his attention were known to be the most punctual, or even paid that much attention to a schedule of sorts, but they certainly would not just ignore the summons he had sent. They simply weren't that kind of people.
He did pause for a brief moment and consider that they were perhaps already here, simply off enjoying their own homegrown festivities in another locale, but he quickly shrugged the thought away. There was a table not very far from his own that had sat empty for the past several years in the back corner of the upstairs floor- it had been at least that long since any of them had visited the establishment, or even Athkatla proper. Still, it always remained empty and awaiting any of their arrival- a promise made by the owner out of a deep gratitude and warm friendship. If they were to come, even so many years hence, it would be to this spot- they would have no other.
And so it was that as he took another long draught of his mug, leaving a thin foam arc across his own bushy mustache, that the bottom door of the Coronet opened and admitted some very familiar faces.
Pleasantries were exchanged at the bar between the heavyset barkeep and the visitors- it had been several years since their last visit, after all. They were most certainly welcome in every sense of the word- a warm smile and a quick embrace awaited both of them, as did the same table they'd frequented for the past seventeen years whenever they'd visited. They scarcely needed directions, but with the promise of ales heading their way as soon as the barkeep could pour them, the pair of half-elves ascended the rickety stairs of the Coronet, finally coming to their home away from home. The chairs only creaked ever so slightly as they both took a seat- the man smiled wistfully as he leaned his quarterstaff against the wall to their backs, running one hand across the wooden tabletop. "Just like we left it. I'd bet every copper we have that nobody's used this table since our last visit."
"Of course not. Hendak's pride would demand nothing less. Now Bernard, on the other hand..." the lady half-elf chuckled, nodding gratefully as the barkeep followed them up the stairs with two ales on a metal tray, handing them off with a long practiced motion. He scowled playfully at her as he wiped his hands on the dirty towel rag hanging from his belt, tsking gently.
"I don't believe my ears, Miss Jaheira... yer not even back but a moment and already the barbs come flying. Why if I didn't know better-"
"That's because you don't know better. You're still working here, aren't you?" Greywulf cut him off, eliciting a roar of laughter from the big man as he shoved the half-elf sorcerer in the arm, an ease among the three friends that time and distance could not affect so easily. "We were sorry to hear about Hendak... have you been managing the Coronet all right without him?"
"Aye... though I never thought to see the day I'd own the whole joint. Figured I'd make myself a nice retirement here running the bar, letting Hendak manage the rest." Bernard sighed, shaking his head. "But after he died, he left the place to me- what was I supposed to do? I sure as hell wasn't going to watch this place fall back into old habits, if you catch my meaning- of course you do, I forget how involved in this place you all were. But to answer yer question, I do all right for myself, sure enough. Spent a pretty penny to bring Hendak back to his people for a proper burial, but it didn't seem right, you know, just putting him out there in the Graveyard District. Not the kind o' man he was nor where he belonged, if you take my drift."
Jaheira nodded in agreement as Bernard's head jerked around with the sound of a cry for more ale down at the bar- he turned back to them with a smile, shaking his head. "Never a dull moment, aye? I'll be back with refills soon as I can, don't you worry. On the house, as always."
"You may regret that, depending on if everyone shows up." Greywulf chuckled as he took his own sip, eliciting another laugh from the big barkeep as he shuffled back down the stairs, leaving Greywulf to address his wife instead. "To be honest, I'm somewhat shocked we're the first to arrive."
"Did you truly expect the others to be punctual? With everything you know of them?" she shook her head in mild disbelief, brushing chestnut colored hair from her pointed ears as she sipped her own ale, frowning at the taste. "Hmph. Still as bad as ever."
"Some things never change, am I right?"
A familiar impish voice from above them got their attention as a flashing grin and a cloak lined with purple erupted into view, perched on the rafters of the high vaulted ceiling of the Coronet. The lithe woman fell backwards off the rafter and landed right between the seated pair, hands immediately balling up and resting on her hips in a self-satisfied pose. "And here you were callin' me late to the party. Didja really think I'd miss out on a reunion like this?"
"I should've known." Greywulf laughed, rising and embracing his sister as she elbowed him in the stomach before hugging him tightly, the two parts of a whole back together, if only for a short time. Jaheira had stood as well, waiting for Imoen to turn and face her before rolling her eyes in what might've appeared to be an attempt to scold her... anyone who knew them was aware that this was simply how they interacted. It was, in fact, the only way they knew how. "Let me guess, child... you've been up there for two hours, waiting to make that dramatic entrance?"
"Hah! If only my knees would stay bent that long without getting stiff these days." Imoen snorted, eliciting a bark of laughter from Jaheira who finally leaned in to hug the thief-mage as well. "B'sides, think how surprised Bernard will be when he comes up and finds me here already!"
"I do not think I shall ever quite understand how your mind works, you know that?" Jaheira remarked as they all took their seats once more, Imoen perched on her chair to Greywulf's left, shrugging nonchalantly. "Still... it is good to see you safe and well. Tell us, how have you been?"
"Heh. Just fine, if bored out of my skull at times." Imoen winked and waved at a visibly flustered Bernard who was just now ascending the staircase with a pitcher of ale- he recovered quickly and immediately moved back downstairs, presumably to grab another mug for her. "You know me... can't sit still, won't sit still... wouldn't want to sit still if I could avoid it."
"Of course, how could we forget? There's been a distinct lack of frenzied pacing back at our cabin since you left." Greywulf snickered, studying Imoen's features for a moment longer. "Gotta say, I miss the pink hair though."
"It's still kinda there!" Imoen defended, fingering some of the strands that came down by her ear, before looking at them studiously, shaking her head with a sigh. "You know how hard pink hair dye is to find on the road? I've had to settle for just highlighting the tips, or dyeing it via magic which NEVER turns out right. Now it's all boring red hair and even a gray one or two! You hear that? I've been getting gray hairs! Personally, I blame both of you."
"And that is why you simply grow NO hair on your head! No gray to worry about, eh?" those boisterous, jovial tones were unmistakable- an imposing ranger with a small hamster on one shoulder and a beautiful blonde elf beside him approached the table, Bernard in tow with a suddenly overflowing tray of drinks and pitchers.
"Found this lot down at the bar when I headed back to go grab you a glass of your own, Miss Imoen." Bernard chuckled as he spread the drinks out amongst the table, letting the three up to greet their old comrades. "I can't tell you how much a right pleasure it is to be seeing you all here again like this. Wish you'd told me ahead o' time and I'd have something a little better prepared than just the house special- could've cracked open the special reserves for an occasion like this! Still, I'll be glad to get you anything you need."
"You've been more than enough help, as always." Aerie smiled gently to Bernard before turning to greet the veritably bouncing thief-mage as she veritably jumped into Aerie's arms, the Avariel only staying balanced with a few flaps of her wings to keep her upright. Her blonde locks tangled with Imoen's for a moment before they pulled apart, Imoen already grinning widely as she dropped her hands on Aerie's slender shoulders.
"Oh my gosh... you haven't aged a day, Aerie! I have SO much stuff to catch up with you about- you've been keeping Minsc in line, right?"
The large Rashemani ranger grinned as Imoen thumbed one hand towards him, the big man letting his hamster scurry down his arm and into his hand which he extended to Imoen with a grin. "Of course she does, and Boo as well! He has grown into much more of a trickster in his old age. He never used to store nuts and berries in my pillow, but now I find them there so very often!"
"Heh. Just like I taught you, little guy." Imoen chuckled, rubbing the hamster's head with two fingers while Jaheira and Greywulf moved to greet the newly arrived pair as well. Before long all five were seated at the table with drinks in hand, the merry conversation just getting started as Greywulf removed his cloak, settling for just the gray robes that were his usual traveling garb.
"I have to admit, I didn't really expect to get a letter inviting us here for this little reunion." he remarked, draping the cloak around his chair as he took a seat again. "I'm going to assume it was Aerie's idea since I don't think Imoen would be this organized and there was hardly a mention of buttkicking in the letter for it to have been Minsc..."
A cry of protest rose from Imoen as Aerie laughed, shaking her head as she gazed into her untouched mug of ale. "While I appreciate your faith, it wasn't either of us... though I agree about Imoen."
A second cry of protest and betrayal rose from Imoen as she slapped Aerie's arm while Minsc responded with what may have been mock or real indignance... it was hard to tell. "Minsc takes offense as well. There is much more to life than simply buttkicking... there is boot-stomping, sword swinging, headbutting... you must broaden your minds, eh?"
"Whatever you say, Minsc." Greywulf shook his head with a resigned grin. "So Imoen, go ahead and tell us what spurred this reunion then..."
"Hmph. So now you want to hear my master plan and all. Well what if I don't wanna say it now." Imoen pouted, folding her arms with an exaggerated frown, before a barely surpressed snort from Jaheira broke her act. "Heh. Okay, so it wasn't me either. But I promise, I'm SO much more organized now than you even realize. I'm a very grown-up, mature, ladylike-"
It was at the word 'ladylike' that the howls of laughter were loud enough that the man in the opposite corner of the room decided he had waited long enough to make his move- he rose from his table and approached the gathering of old friends, clearing his throat as he made his presence known. He didn't particularly want to startle them- while they may have been in good spirits now, they hadn't made their fame from peaceful acts, after all. Still, he had no doubt that once they saw him, they'd know precisely why he was there, and welcome him with open arms. "By the gods, what fortune is this, to stumble upon a gathering of such rareified individuals! Pardon my intrusion, may I join you, if only for a few moments?"
"Oh hell." Jaheir's face immediately dropped into an annoyed scowl. "Now this all makes sense."
"Volothamp Geddarm... the plot thins." Greywulf rolled his eyes as the infamous writer pulled up a chair squarely between Aerie and Imoen, looking at the group with an unshakeable grin. "I suppose we can presume that you were the one who sent us all those letters to bring us here?"
"Letters? I'm sure I have no clue as to what you are talking about, good sir." Volo shook his head with as feigned an innocence as he could muster. "I simply happened to spy some of the most famous beings in Faerun gathered together once more, and could not neglect such an opportunity! What sort of author would I be if I did not take this chance to immortalize it on paper?"
"I can think of a few words to describe what sort of author you'd be... are..." Aerie folded her arms and frowned at the man with a slight shake of her head. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but Haer'Dalis' play was more truthful than your account of the Bhaalspawn crisis. You got more things wrong in your book than you did right."
"Ah, so you did read it then?" Volo seemed nonplussed by Aerie's expression of disapproval as he continued. "Always a pleasure to meet a fan, especially ones so famous as you all-"
"All right, bored now." Imoen cut in with a yawn, her chin resting on one palm, elbow digging into the table. "Let's pay our tab and move this party somewhere else... not talking to you Volo, just in case that wasn't clear. In fact, why don't you just stay here, we'll tell Bernard you're good for the money-"
"Agh! All right, I sent you the letters. Please, simply hear me out!" Volo yelped as the group began to rise from the table, the writer hurriedly gesturing for them to sit back down. "I am, as you know, the chronicler of the greatest stories in the annals of Faerun. Your exploits are simply one of the many tales I have been privileged to bear witness to as I've traveled far and wide-"
A loud, faux snoring sound from Imoen interrupted him once more, as he finally sighed and exhaled sharply. "Right to the point then... I wish to interview you all."
"What? Why would you want to do that?" Greywulf frowned, shaking his head in confusion.
"Ah... it may have been some time since your most famous adventures, but the thirst of the public can never be quenched completely!" Volo stated triumphantly. "The masses always desire to know more, and your stories were so glorious, surely there must be more to tell! I simply ask your permission to tell the tales of what further glories you have partaken in since the saga of the Bhaalspawn. A few questions, that is all, truly."
"And what makes you think we would agree to this?" Jaheira asked with an arched eyebrow, obviously unimpressed.
"Ooh! All the ale we can drink while you interview us! You're paying the tab." Imoen grinned, pointing to Volo as though the very act would compel him. "Promise that and I'm in."
"I... er... I suppose that's a fair deal..." Volo replied uncertainly as Imoen pumped one arm in celebration, immediately jumping to her feet to shout to Bernard over the railing of the upper floor. "Ah. Very well then, I agree to those terms."
A murmured curse from Jaheira spurred a laugh from Greywulf as he shrugged and elbowed her gently. "Well, he did get us all here together, so I'd say we at least owe him for that. What's a few questions amid a night of drinking together with family, huh?"
No sooner had Greywulf spoken than he heard a grunt of surprise from Minsc and a slight gasp from Aerie. Without even looking, he had a feeling he was going to regret this.
"Oh dear." Aerie sighed as a long scroll unfurled to the floor in front of Volo, the unrolling side finally coming to rest at the tip of Minsc's boot, covered in dozens if not hundreds of scribbled questions. He pulled an ink quill out along with a blank parchment to take notes on, the writer's eyes alighting with excitement as he cleared his throat.
Jaheira glared back at Greywulf, who shrugged helplessly. She did not say a word. She simply reached out, took hold of her full mug of ale... then proceeded to drain the entire thing before reaching for the pitcher to refill it once more.
Author's Post Script: We're back! At least, for a little while. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say, and I do love these characters. I'll be the first to say this isn't going to be anything so dramatic as Tale of the Bhaalspawn or Wars of the Bhaalspawn(if the title didn't give that fact away, though I did feel the urge to continue the naming pattern), but more a short collection of short, (hopefully) humorous stories. I'm here to answer questions like... what has everyone been up to since we last saw them, both separately and together? How many people has Imoen managed to piss off since striking out on her own? Just how much alcohol will Jaheira need to consume to put up with all of Volo's interview? How pissed off is Haer'Dalis that Volo is getting this interview and not him? Will all or any of these questions be answered? Not sure. Heh. It's good to be back.