Kiss Me, I'm Italian?
By Simahoyo
(What the heck is Jane Rissoli doing wearing that tacky, "Kiss Me, I'm Irish button" on St. Patrick's Day? Fun, fluff, and Rissiles.
Boston is known as the most Irish city in the United States. It is more than apparent on St. Patrick's Day, when actual Irish go to mass, Irish Americans hold a parade, and those who wish they were Irish drink green beer and get roaring drunk.
It is a day feared by the patrol officer, and celebrated after work by the homicide squad. Some wear green, even if they aren't even remotely Irish. Today, Corsak and Frost wore tasteful green ties. But Rissoli was late.
"Where's Rissoli? We have that cold case to go over." Barry Frost was writing notes as he read through one file. A stack of boxes stood next to his desk.
"Could be why she's late.", groaned Corsak. His stack of files didn't actually reach the moon, as he had been saying earlier, but it was more than enough work for several days.
It was then that Jane Rissoli walked into the bullpen wearing her usual black pantsuit and white shirt. But perched on one lapel was a tacky green button complete with a leprechaun, and the slogan, "Kiss Me, I'm Irish!".
"What in the hell are your wearing, Rissoli? No way you are Irish. Did you lose a bet?"
Jane sat at her desk and opened a file, starting to read. "Not yet."
Frost had to say something. The thing was downright ugly. "Wait until the Doc. sees that thing. She's have it off you in a heart beat."
Jane kept reading, and turned a page. "Maybe."
Shut out, her fellow detectives gave up and worked steadily. At 10:05 AM, Jane checked her watch.
"Break time. See you in ten." and Jane was gone.
"What is she up to?" asked Frost.
"Search me. Do you have the guts to follow her?" Corsak raised his eyebrows.
Frost went grey, as he shook his head.
"Smart move."
Jane was on her way down to the morgue. When she got there, one of the younger associates was doing an autopsy, but Maura wasn't there. He looked up through his face shield.
"She's in her office. ", he offered, and went back to his cutting.
Jane poked her heading into Maura's office. She was sitting at her desk, reading some charts.
"Hey. Got a minute?"
Maura looked up and smiled. "For you? Always. What do you want?"
Jane walked close to Maura and flashed her garish pin.
Instead of wincing, the doctor looked at it, and smiled saucily. "Don't you think it's on the wrong person? I mean of the two of us, which one is actually Irish?"
"Why, you are. Do you want it?"
"Will you give it to me?"
Jane removed the pin and handed it to Maura, who immediately pinned it to her green lab coat.
An evil glint came into Maura's eye. She pointed to the pin. "So...what do you plan to do about it?"
Jane could have sworn it was a come on. Really. So, she leaned forward, and placed her lips on Maura's. So warm, and inviting, and then Maura opened her mouth and Jane felt her tongue..."
They sprang apart. "Oh my God, Maura! "
"Was I inappropriate?" Maura looked stricken.
"Wildly, wonderfully inappropriate. My God, I had no idea you could kiss like that."
"So you aren't angry?" Maura still looked crestfallen. Jane took her hand and held it to her lips.
"I guess I should done that before, huh?"
"You could do it again."
The second kiss nearly made Jane's knees collapse. When they came up for air, Jane looked at her watch. "Damn. Break's over, and I have the lunch run today. See you later?"
"Absolutely."
They kissed quickly, and Jane scooted out of the office and tore up the stairs. Halfway up she ran into Frankie, literally. He stared at his sister, pulled out a handkerchief and moved it toward her mouth. Jane fought him, flailing her arms.
"Cut it out. What are you doing?"
"The question is, what the hell have you been doing? Wipe that lipstick smear off your mouth."
"Gaaaa!" Jane scrubbed her mouth. "I don't need the guys to see it."
"You don't need Ma to see it."
"Thanks, Frankie. I really couldn't live it down." Jane tore back up the stairs.
All was quiet until noon. Lunchtime. Chairs were scraped back, and Frost and Corsak took out money to pay for their meal.
Jane looked at them, pencil and pad at the ready. "Ok, what do you want?..."
Frost stretched, thought a moment, then said, " Thai Deli. Beef noodles–the 5 star."
Corsak shook his head. "No, that stuff burns my tongue off. The Irish pub will be a mob scene today...Rissoli? What do you think?"
"I dunno. Greek place? You both like the gyros. It's close by. I might even get time to eat today."
"Done. And get some olives please." Frost looked pleased with himself.
It was then that Maura walked into the bullpen. She held a little box in her hands, and set in on Jane's desk. She looked at the men and waved before she left.
Both jumped up and went to Jane's desk. They looked longingly at the closed box.
"You open it."
"Are you crazy? You do it."
"What if someone kinda nudged it, like..."and Corsak thumped the box with his finger. It opened.
Inside was Jane's pin. It has been neatly altered with green painters tape over the word, "Irish" and the word, "Italian" replacing it. Frost shrugged.
"Better put the top back on."
"I wish we could read the note."
"No way. I like to live."
By the time Jane returned with pita wrapped gyros, yellow rice, olives and souvlaki, Frost and Corsak were innocently playing cards. They passed the food around, and Jane opened the box, laughed and then read the note. "Cool." was all she said, while her co-workers busily ate.
It was a particularly long day for the curious. Jane disappeared again at break time, but neither had the nerve to follow her. They did notice that she had the pin on again, and had put the note somewhere. They played solitaire until she returned.
The two detectives were nearly dead of curiosity by the time Jane went home.
They raced to her desk. "Okay, where's the note?"
"I think it's in her wastebasket," said Frost.
Corsak started to dig. A few seconds later he held it up triumphantly. "Found it!"
The uncrumpled the note to read. "Tag, you're it. Have no smear and am willing to share."
"What the hell does that mean? Some kinda girl code?"
"I dunno, but there's no way I'm asking."
End