When Shang first told me I was unsuited to be a warrior, I believed him.
Of course I was unsuited for war, I thought, I'm a girl! But then I remembered no one knew that.
So I packed my things, and, defeated, started to leave camp. I knew I would miss Yao and Ling even though they didn't really like me. Chien-Po was nice though, so I knew I would miss him the most. Thinking about him made me sigh. I looked back at the camp, feeling like it was wrong to leave but knowing that I would just make matters worse if I stayedl. I spotted the arrow at the top of the pole and wondered how the hell anyone was supposed to get that. Especially with those two weights on our wrists. I didn't understand how that was a true test of manliness. But I looked at it and must have gone crazy because in a split second, I had decided that by morning I would have that arrow in my hand. Maybe then, if I could just get the arrow down… maybe Shang would give me some respect.
"Ummm. Mulan. What are you doing?" Mushu said to me.
"I'm going to get that arrow down." I stated, suddenly very determined.
"Mulan, what kinda crazy juice have you been drinkin? Did you drink anything Yao gave you? Because I wouldn't have done that. Somethin's not right in his head, girl."
"Weren't you the one telling me I had to 'kick the other kid's butts?' That's what I'm going to do, Mushu." I said as I placed him on my horse and ran toward the pole, ignoring his protests.
Shang will never see it coming, I thought, and I used my newfound anger toward him to keep myself motivated. How dare he think I was incapable of becoming a warrior? No one is hopeless. He's just a stuck up asshole. He probably can't even get this arrow.
Those were all things I told myself over the next eight hours. My ass was sore, and my ego, along with the rest of my body, was bruised as the sun started rising and I still hadn't figured out how to climb the pole. It had been easier to make a fool of myself in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep but as people started waking up, I knew I really had to start thinking. In frustration, I threw my hands around the pole and the weights wrapped themselves around each other. I moved my hands up and down the pole, and realized that the weights had tied together.
That was it! I had figured it out! Well, not on purpose, but no one needed to know that. I shimmied up the tall pole and only fell a few times. By the time I had gotten the hang of it and had climbed halfway up the pole, there was a crowd beneath me. Having an audience only fueled my desire to prove Shang wrong.
Finally, when I reached the top, I pulled the arrow out and climbed the last bit of the pole so I could sit on top. I perched on the top as people cheered for me. Their cheers must have woken Shang up, though, because he came out of his tent, still shirtless. He looked annoyed and confused, probably wondering what all the fuss was about. Then I threw the arrow down, and it landed at his feet. He stared at it for a second before looking up at me, and I just smirked.
I made my way down the pole and he walked toward me.
"Ping." He muttered.
"General Shang." I said, and dropped the weights in his hand. I walked away without another word, leaving him staring after me.
And so the sexual frustration ensues.
Next time on McSteamy Shang…
Shang struggles with his feelings for Mulan, still believing that she's a man. Meanwhile, Mulan and Mushu cook up what could only be a recipe for disaster. Let's only hope Cricket will be there to give them some good luck ;)