CHAPTER 1 - THE PLANNENING
Author's Note: I never saw the movie that this work is based on. It looked dumb. My story is probably better. Read it instead! A shoutout to the IMDB list of characters and the movie's trailer, the only things I looked at before writing this story. Also, I forgot what the trailer was about.
Furthermore: All people, places, and brand names in this story were guest written by someone who does have permission to write those words in a story. My methods are airtight and lawsuit-proof.
It was a dark and relatively wolf-free night. Terry was attempting to make onion rings by way of his coffee machine. Thunder shook the walls and lightning tore open the night sky. Terry had been afraid of storms for as long as he could remember. They reminded him of when he was a child, and his father had been struck by lightning and became Lightning Man.
His phone rang. It was Diane.
"What up, nerd?!" shouted Diane into his other ear. Terry dropped his phone in terror, somewhat on edge from the storm raging outside. Terry hadn't even heard her break into his house. They sat down at the table as Terry tore a loaf of French bread in two for them to eat. They were both terribly in love, but were afraid of commitment.
"What's going on?" asked Terry.
"I was listening to the radio this evening, and they were having a contest. I was the 7th caller, and I won tickets for 8 to your cabin outside of Las Vegas."
"Las Vegas? Never heard of it." Terry frowned. Spanish was never his strong suit. He did have a strong suit, but it was presently at the cleaner's. He had worn it to an interview on Tuesday, but he had stopped for lunch on the way home, and got mustard all over it. Terry loved mustard, almost as much as he hated commitment. He had considered marrying mustard, but decided he would have to wait until he could find a clergyman who spoke mustard's subtle and beautiful language. Otherwise how would he or she know if the mustard had agreed to the marriage? There was one thing Terry definitely did not support, and that was kidnapping.
"Let's call up our friends and see if they can go. We can talk about feelings the whole time!" Diane usually had some pretty great ideas, but as a man, Terry objected to this feelings talk. He did, however, want to see his friends. Plus, he loved vacations. He loved them so hard. Mustard would be jealous. Mustard, beautiful but naïve.
"Mega tight!" bellowed terry. "I'm on this!" He picked up his phone from where it lay on the ground. He was pleased to see that it hadn't broken. He started dialing his buddies.
The plannening had begun.