Pansy Cassandra Parkinson was a footnote on the texts on the war. Never mind that she'd risked her life in espionage, suffered intense torture, had affairs with just about anyone and everyone and arranged most people's love lives. The war texts generally gave her name as Draco's lover, despite the fact they'd never felt that desperate and he was now happy shacking with Cedric Diggory, or mentioned her as if she was some kind of tart. This was, incidentally, kind of true. But honestly, a little recognition!

So when the latest of the Harry Potter books (not at all accurate, by the way) came out and was greeted so joyfully, Pansy got pissed off. Very pissed off.

Scowling, she drew herself up to her full height- a surprisingly tall 5 ft 9-, pulled her shoulders back and let her lip curl. The fact that she was clutching her wand, intent on doing damage meant that the roads cleared fast as she walked down them.

As soon as the crowds had vanished, Pansy allowed herself the opportunity to smirk lazily, a trick she had taught Draco in Hogwarts. Shrugging off her robe, she placed her wand in her back pocket, never mind what Moody said, she had never found a better place for it, revealing tight black jeans and a decidedly skimpy green top (Slytherin colours all the way). Running a hand through short spiky black hair, she apparated to Seamus Finnegan's muggle bar -complete with apparating room for witches and wizards- and walked into the smoky room.

Bill Weasley had long ago decided that his life wasn't as great as the Harry Potter books made out. For starters, the whole cool thing had taken him years and he'd suffered Hogwarts with very few friends his own age. He had been the answer book, the homework to copy, the smart one to cheat off, and the one that spent all his time in the library.

Then there was the whole hair thing, his mother wasn't like that. She had encouraged the hair, it just happened that the author didn't like his hair and used her book to rant. Some people!

Then the whole Cannons thing! He hated the Cannons; they hadn't won for years and most likely weren't going to win for years to come! Why would he support them? They weren't even his local team! Dear Merlin!

But the thing that bugged him most of all was the whole Fleur thing. His family liked Fleur; in fact she and Ginny were very close. Plus he and Fleur weren't married! They were close friends, yes, but she was about as gay as they come. He had been teaching her English (and introducing her to the London gay scene) not sleeping with her! J.K.Rowling was just jealous.

Scowling and re-tying his hair back, he apparated to Ron's friend's bar in order to get rip-roaring drunk.

Pansy, only slightly tipsy, glanced around the bar, nursing her drink and spotted a familiar flash of red hair. Tilting her head to the side, she glanced at the intruder and screwed up her nose. Not Ginevra, not this late in her pregnancy, but who?

Without bothering to talk, she leant back against the bar and waited for Seamus to answer her silent question. Seamus shook his head slightly amused by his demanding friend.

"Bill, the eldest boy. Curse-breaker. You and he'd probably get along; he's very anti-JKR." He said, smirking slightly, hoping Pansy would take the bait.

"I'm not interested in a love-life." Seamus winced as she replied coldly, breaking through his carefully constructed hint.

"I never said you were. Talk to him. Or I won't give you another fire-whisky." He told her, resorting to crude blackmail. "Oh, and Pansy, I'm dating Millicent."

Pansy, who tended to receive very few shocks, raised her eyebrow with a smirk much deadlier than his. "Oh? You realise that if you cheat on her, hurt her or break her heart then I will work out the most painful torture and practice on you. You owe me another fire-whisky."

With that, she strode over to the eldest Weasley and Seamus leant back against the wall with relief. Pansy, while totally awesome, knew 284 wandless ways to kill a man.

"Weasley." Bill was broken from his rather drunken reverie by a very sexy girl leering at him.

"Huh?" Somehow, Bill was sure that the glass in front of him was laughing at him and mocking him.

The girl's eyebrows raised and the corner of her mouth turned up.

"Little too much firewhisky, huh Weasley? Shall I tell you a secret?" Pansy grinned as the guy nodded dumbly and she leant forward, unveiling her breasts to his eyes and whispering in his ear.

"Gryffs don't do alcohol. Should leave it to the big bad Slytherines."

Bill frowned. "Nuh-uh. Slytherines are sexy. Veeeerrrrryyyyy sexy." He nodded repeatedly and Pansy allowed a good honest smile onto her face.

"I think you had better come home with me, Weasley. Something tells me that apparating in your state would be a bad idea."

Happy Holidays, Eid, Christmas, New Year, Diwali, whatever you celebrate. Review and see some morning after stuff!