How much feels could a fangirl feel if a fangirl could feel feels? A fangirl could feel feels as much as she feels, if a fangirl could feel - um, I lost my train of thought. Anyhoo, I was talking to Elmlea, who is the goddess of ninjas and awesomesauce, and she was imagining Leo with a now on his head, holding a puppy. The story sort of... Spiraled from there. And when I say spiraled, I mean it raced into a totally different dimension, slammed the door, locked me out, and wrote itself. Not sure if this is what you wanted, Elmlea, but anyway... I tried to catch it! I did!

This story will continue with one chapter per every one of Leo's friends, plus one for Leo at the end. Tell me in reviews who I should write next! Also, don't expect this story updated regularly. I am occupied with moving and writing other stuff and reading and waitressing and life.

And thus begins the chronicle of Leo at his friends' birthdays.

Five pairs of eyes stared at the sleeping figure on the bed.

Five pairs of ears heard every sound that five pairs of legs were making, and five pairs of eyes shot dirty looks at one of the five owners of one of the five pairs of legs.

Each of the five held a mysterious package in their arms. Each of the five wore a mysterious hat. Each of the five watched the unmoving form attentively.

One pair of legs burst through the door. Five pairs of eyes turned to glare at the newcomer, but it was too late.

Percy rolled over, took one look at the room, and groaned.

"Surprise!" chorused the original five, with a hasty echo from the latecomer.

Percy grabbed the pillow and flipped it up over his head and onto his eyes. "I'm sleeping," he grumbled. "I can sleep late. It's my birthday."

Annabeth snatched the pillow away. Jason flipped on the light. Frank set down his package, which was the biggest, on the desk. Hazel rammed a party hat on Percy's very annoyed head. Piper began singing a very off-key version of "Kings and Queens".

Kings and Queens and Princes, too

Doo-da-da wanna wish the best to you

"Okay, okay, I'm up."

Doo-da-da wish day, wash day, whaddaya say?

Birthday!

"Shut up, Piper!"

Happy Birthday-

"Piper..."

To yoooooooooou!

Percy threw his remaining pillow at her. Jason shoved a party hat into her mouth. Piper spluttered.

"I was not that bad."

"Yes, you were."

Piper gave a mock huff and ripped the covers off of Percy. He groaned.

"Get up."

"Okay, okay..."

Percy hauled his lazy butt out of bed. Frank gave a falsetto "ooooh" at his attire - uh, his boxers. Hazel blushed. Percy threw one shirt at Frank and shoved the other one over his head.

"Where's Leo?"

"He was the one that woke you up," Jason said, looking around. "Can't find him, though."

Cue the music.

Slow jazz started playing from everywhere in the room. Percy looked around, bewildered. "What the hell..."

A leg stepped out from the shadows of the one blind spot of the windows. Well, not stepped. More like slowly displayed itself.

Piper sighed annoyedly. "Leo..."

Leo sashayed out of the dark area and swiveled to face them.

Hazel cracked up.

A red bow sat atop Leo's flaming black hair. A teeny gift-wrapping bow. Leo held a box in his arms. It, too, was aflame, wrapped in red and decorated very heavily with red bows.

Piper cooed. "Oh, what a cute ittle wittle Leo!"

Leo rolled his eyes. Then, realizing that he actually was trying to be cute, he scrunched up his nose and peered up at Percy.

"Happy biwthday?"

"Leo..."

Annabeth sighed. "I knew we shouldn't have put him in charge of the present," she told Frank. "I blame Percy's barbecued present on you."

Leo looked offended. "I'll have you know that it's not barbecued, Miss I-Hate-Fire-and-Think-That-Leo's-An-Idiot-No-Matter-What-He-Does!"

"Is my belief unfounded?" Annabeth asked skeptically.

Leo considered for a moment. "Yes."

"Elaborate."

"Simple. The present isn't barbecued."

Annabeth threw a pillow at him. Leo threw the box at her, forgetting that it was aflame. Annabeth reflexively caught it, then screamed as the fire hit her. Percy doused her in water before Frank even turned around from lighting the candles on the cake. Annabeth stood there, soaking wet and furious.

Leo scrunched up his shoulders. He screwed his eyes up, then abandoned that for a puppy-dog look. "Sowwy?"

Annabeth threw the box at him half-heartedly. "How can I stay mad at you when you look like that?"

Leo yanked the ribbon off of the soggy box, holding it in his arms. A teeny tiny scrabbling emitted therein.

"Is there something alive in there, you idiot?"

A puppy peeked his head out. His eyes matched Leo's. His red bow atop his head matched Leo's. His black fur matched Leo's. He scrambled out of the box and into Percy's arms.

"You set a puppy on fire and then drowned him?"

"Hey, Percy drowned him!"

"Because you set him on fire!"

Hazel stepped between them. "Leo, how did you create such a picture-perfect moment?"

Leo blinked impishly. "I figured, everyone loves me, so if I act even cuter, they'll love me more!"

Frank scoffed. "Don't push it."

"What about the whole lady-at-the-bar-in-the-1900s thing?"

Leo shrugged. "I've always wanted to do that. Creep people out a bit. Come on, you saw Percy's expression when he realized I'd been in there every night while he was sleeping and wiring every inch of his cabin for sound."

Percy looked up from his puppy. "Wait, what?"

"Forget I said anything! Forgetitforgetitforgetit now!"

Percy thought for a moment, then decided he didn't care enough.

"Okay."

He went back to his puppy.

"You still haven't explained why you set a puppy on fire."

"It was a fireproof box, mother."

"Well, for unnecessary endangerment of a hapless little beast, I condemn you to a week of being grounded," Hazel said firmly.

"Oh, shut up, Hazel."

Hazel pulled out her cell phone. "I happen to have PETA on speed-dial."

Leo rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, I'm grounded."

He spotted the cake.

"Cake!"

And that was the end of the cake.

But all that a different time.