Ello, I'm Cortez, most of you know me, or don't know me as Murdoc's pet raven. But loves, I am so much more than that. I've been with Murdoc ever since he was born, I was Satan's gift to him. Honestly, if I could've chosen my life long partner, it wouldn't of been Murdoc, that's for sure. Hell, I would've been with Jeffery Dahmer instead of Murdoc. However, I love the chap just the same. Even though he forces me to do it with him or he'll drown me in my slumber. So, unfortunately I've been in 2D's situation but, uh, *scratches my head*, I enjoy small parts of it. Fortunately, I don't get raped like 2D, poor chap. Moving on, my life story is anything but glamourous. My father was a human, mother was a raven, don't ask me how I was conceived. I remember being in the egg, honestly not a fun place to be. However, after I was "hatched" my parents sold me to Satan. If you're reading this Mum and Dad, fuck you. Anyway that's when Satan gave me to Murdoc. When Murdoc and I were ten we discovered that I could be a raven or a human, let's just say Murdoc has been all over me ever since then. Honestly I don't mind the attention it's just that I would like more of it, to be completely honest, I-I, I think I love him. There, I said it. I. Love. Murdoc. I know he has commitment issues, well, open relationship issues and such, but, I'm used to it. I've seen him with Paula Cracker, 2D, and hell, even groupies and fans. I've never told him this so you blokes better keep to yourselves, ya hear? To be honest, I've been jealous when I've seen him with, well, everyone.

"Cortez, the hell you doing in there?"

*closes my notebook and puts in under my pillow*

"Uh, nothing 'Doc."

"Bullshit 'Tez. Bull. Shit"

"No honest 'Doc, honest, I was just thinking is all…"

"'Bout what" * comes and sits by me*

*laughs nervously* "N-nothing 'Doc, honest."

"Come on 'Tez you know you wanna tell me."

*shivers as he pets my head*

"W-well I-I *mumbles something*"

"What's that Cortez? You don't need to be afraid, it's just ol' Murdoc."

*Murdoc starts kissing my cheek*

"M-Murdoc, stop. I'll tell you."

"That a girl Cortez, not so hard now is it?"

"I-I. Love. You."

*Murdoc sighs and shakes his head*

"I was afraid this would happen. Truth is 'Tez, I-I love you too."

Complete and utter shock came over me. Was it true? Was 'Doc really in love with me? All of a sudden Murdoc is carrying me to the Winnie, I was over his shoulder like a garbage back. I was banging on his back laughing and saying put me down! He threw me on the bed and laid down next to me.

"'Tez?"

"Yes Murdoc?"

"How long have you loved me?"

"Well I guess since, well I don't know, forever, well since we met and I turned into a human."

"Really? I loved you since I first boned you."

"That was when we were ten Murdoc."

"Oh. Quite right, I knew that."

"I never wanted to ya know."

"Wanted to what?"

"Be boned at the age of ten"

"Well you took it like a champ, yeah."

"I did it for you, and only for you."

"Oh come on 'Tez, you enjoyed it."

*imitates Murdoc's voice and blushes* "Quite right."

"I thought so."

*Murdoc bites my neck and I moan*

"Murdoc, Murdoc…"

"What 'Tez? What's wrong?"

"What-what are you doing 'Doc?"

"What do you think I'm doing 'Tez, I'm trying, keyword, trying to go slow with you."

I snort, "Please."

"You're right who am I kidding?"

"No one, but now I have a question for you."

"What's that Cortez?

"Why do you love me?"

"Well Cortez honestly, you're the only one that understands me. Now 'Tez don't expect this mushy shit all the time alright?"

I nodded and suddenly 'Doc was cuddling me, apparently this "mushy shit" was only around when he's with me. To be honest I never expected Murdoc to feel the same way. But, I still had one question; would he still see other broads?

"'Doc?"

"Yes 'Tez?"

"W-would you, I mean if we dated would you still sleep with other broads?"

"Well, 'Tez, honestly I don't know, I mean it's my way of life, love,-"

*SMACK* I smacked Murdoc as hard as I could and ran out of the Winnie, hot tears streaming down my face, my makeup, I'm sure, is a mess. I burst into the house where I find 2D sitting at the table strumming his guitar.

"Rough time in the Winnie Cortez?"

"Fuck off you old bloke."

"'Tez what's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Cortez. What. Happened?"

"NOTHING!" I yell and run into the bathroom and locked myself in.

I wake up hours later in Murdoc's bed.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I scream, I'm sure everyone on Plastic Beach heard me. Murdoc jerks upright lying next to me.

*drowsily* "'Tez, w-what's the matter?"

"What do you think is he matter? How'd I get in here? Did you-"

Murdoc holds up his hand, "I didn't drug you, for God's sake I love you too much to do that."

"Then what di-"

"I asked Fuckface where you were and he said bathroom crying. I figure 'cuz of me, so I unlocked the door and carried you're sleeping self out-"

"What makes you think I would want to see you, after what happened a few hours ago?"

"I wanted to apologize…"

"Please, I doubt you mean it even if you said it."

"What do I have to do to prove to you I'm sorry and that I only want you?"

"I don't know, date me?"

"I will date you if it'll prove how sorry I am and how much I want you."

"'Doc, are you sure? I mean this is a big step up for you."

He takes my hands, looks into my eyes and says, "Yes, I'm sure."

We walk into our Plastic Beach house hand in hand. 2D, Noodle and Russell stare at us.

"What you looking at Faceache?"

"Murdoc's got a girlfriend"

"Real mature 2D."

I couldn't believe we were dating, since we were ten I dreamt of this. Murdoc grabs my face and kisses it, and licks my cheek.

"Really Murdoc? You had to lick Cortez?"

"Yeah got a problem?"

"No, just shocked you're in a committed relationship."

"What's that supposed to mean Faceache?"
"I don't know I'm just shocked like everyone here."

END 3