A/N: Joseph's Thoughts, Set in PD1 at the Independence Day ball, with flashbacks.

Independence Day

For years after she told him, he'd had to live with the pain. The secret that burned inside him, deep inside his soul. Though he had always walked two steps behind her, he couldn't help but wish he was where king Rupert had stood. By her side. Always and forever. Once she told him, he had never spoken of it again. And he watched his little boy grow to be the next heir to the throne of Genovia.

Queen Clarisse never acknowledged her head of security as the father of her son. But a one night stand had turned into a lifetime of pain, for them both. At a time when her majesty was weak, Joseph had been there. Perhaps a bit . . . too . . . there. Although deep down inside, Clarisse knew that it was wrong, she loved him more then words would possibly say and that night after the royal independence day ball, held in Genovia that year, she gave in.

He vividly recalled that independence day ball

The champagne, the fireworks, the queen. She had looked absolutely ravishing in a blue corseted ball gown that seemed to follow her every command. Only he knew the pain she felt inside, longing for a child. Only he knew that when she excused herself from the table at dinner she was actually exiting swiftly to the bathroom to rid herself of the tears forming in her gorgeous blue eyes. That night he had followed her, and heard her sobs through the vent. Deciding whether or not to intervene was a daunting task. Finally he knocked on the bathroom door, hearing her gasp and fight for some tissues.

"Your majesty, are you all right?"

"Oh, Joseph, it's you. Yes, I'm fine."

"If you were fine, you wouldn't be wiping your eyes."

'How does he know?' she thought, throwing down the tissue. "I guess you're right. You can come in." He opened the door and entered with a sympathetic smile. He sat next to her where she had been crying on the floor.

"Is there anything I can do?" The young head of security asked. At this point, he loved her so much that if his jumping off a cliff would make everything all right for her, he would.

"It's silly."

"I bet it's not."

"If you could just . . . " She nestled closer to him as more tears fell.

"Of course." Joseph put an arm around the vulnerable, young, Queen and held her tight to his side. For the first time in a long time, Clarisse felt safe.

"Joseph?"

"Your majesty?"

"Call me Clarisse." She had forgotten what she was going to say.

"All right."

"I suppose I should be going back." She tried to stand.

"I suppose you should."

"Thank you for . . . " Before she finished the sentence, she realized she was looking directly into his eyes. Clarisse lost her sense of control, and kissed him full on the mouth. The kiss was slow and long. Full of passion and longing. As they parted Joseph placed a hand on her arm, preventing her from moving. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" The queen looked appalled.

"I didn't mean to . . . well I meant too but, I didn't mean for it to be so . . . Oh God, I don't know what I meant!"

"Clarisse," he paused as the name sat on the air. "Calm down. I'll never mention it, if that's what you want."

"I'm not sure what I want." She dropped her arm from his grasp. "Will you stay here with me?"

"In your bedroom? You do have the party guests . . . "

"Let them be. They'll never realize that I am gone."

That was the night that started it all. The night that the queen gave in, and Joseph fell apart. He had tried so hard to push that night out of his mind. Sometimes he felt it was happing all over again. He could feel it, her breath, hot on his neck. Being able to touch her, so gently. The night was never out of his mind, taunting his dreams. Yet they never spoke of it, not even the next day. The next time it was vaguely mention was two months to the day later.

Joseph had been sitting at the security desk when the queen came bursting through the door.

"Clarisse." It was the first time he had spoken directly to her since that night.

"We need to have a little chat." She was stern, and seemed uneasy. He invited her to sit. "I'll stand, thank you."

"What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Congrat . . . "

"It's yours." The words hit him like a ton of bricks.

"What?" The head of security backed up. "Are you sure?"

"It has to be. Rupert and I haven't . . . " Joseph held up a hand. That was the last thing he needed to know. "Sorry."

"What are we going to do?" He took a step in her direction.

"Keep it a secret." She stepped closer.

"Then why did you tell me?" Step.

"I'm a bad liar." Step. They were face to face, and Clarisse kissed him softly on the cheek. "I will always love you. It just isn't time yet."

"I understand, your majesty." He got up, and walked quickly out the door.

"Joseph!" She called after him, sinking to the floor in tears, realizing that he was gone.

It wasn't until tonight. At the Independence Day ball, watching Mia become the princess, that he truly thought about talking to Clarisse about that night so long ago. After all, Mia was truly his granddaughter.

"Clarisse?" He whispered in her ear as they danced.

"Yes?"

"I've long wanted to bring up the subject of that night so long ago. So here it goes . . . "

"Oh . . . Jo. . . Joseph. I..." She stuttered, trying to find words to replace the angry ones she felt inside.

"Our granddaughter will do very well, Clarisse."

"Yes, she will, I do believe she will." The queen looked in his eyes and placed a quick peck on his lips.

"End of discussion."

"Not quite." Clarisse grabbed his hand and led him through the crowd and upstairs to repeat the events of that night so long ago.