"Canada is amazing, Banff is beautiful, go and enjoy yourself; try and take your mind off things for a while. The break will do you good, hell it'll do you and Rhys good to spend some time together away from here after everything that's happened recently." Jack smiled at Gwen and sat back in the chair behind his desk. Gwen mirrored his position in her chair opposite him, she didn't say anything immediately, just sat back and watched as he poured over a file in front of him.
'He looks tired' she thought to herself, and although he seemed to be staring intently at the file in front of him, he almost seemed to be looking through it. He looked up then, catching her eye. He quirked his head to the side as if he were studying her for a moment, "was there something else?" he asked her.
"No, no, I just…" she sighed, on hearing this he shut the file in front of him, resting his elbows on the desk, leaning forward and placing his chin on his linked fingers.
"You just?" he asked, gesturing for her to continue. She leaned back further into the chair and closed her eyes, running her hands through her hair, bringing her elbows onto the desk, again mirroring him, but resting her face in her hands, not looking at him. She let out a deep breath and rubbed her temples with her fingers, eyes still closed, before looking up at Jack once more.
"I just, with Tosh and Owen.. gone.." her breath caught slightly in her throat, " I know I could do with a break we all could, but…" Jack interrupted her "but what Gwen?" he asked not taking his eyes off her.
"I just don't want to go anywhere, I mean what if something happens and I cant get back, or something happens to you or Ianto and I am thousands of miles away, I couldn't bare it Jack." Her voice rising slightly as she got more and more anxious.
"Gwen, we'll be fine, c'mon you need this. I need for you to have this. Do it for me, please." He reached across the desk and lifted her chin with his fingers, letting one stroke her gently. Gwen sniffed slightly, still not breaking eye contact and nodded her head gently.
"Hey I could get used to this Gwen, what are the chances of getting upgraded huh?!" Rhys beamed as they took their seats in first class. When they arrived at check-in they were informed that they were suitable for upgrade, so instead of being stuck in economy, Rhys was currently transforming his seat into s bed and back again, much to Gwen's annoyance. She couldn't help think that Jack had a hand in upgrading them, and chuckled to herself slightly at what or who he had done to achieve it.
Four hours later and Rhys was asleep, Gwen was lost in her own world, looking out of the window, thinking about the events of the previous months. Tosh and Owen, Grey, the end of the world, Ianto, and Jack. Jack's brother had killed Tosh in cold blood, and if it weren't for him, Owen would still be with them. Jack's brother, she almost couldn't process it, it was too horrible to think about. Of course she didn't blame jack but she could see in his eyes that he blamed himself. She hoped that while she was away, Ianto would have been able to help Jack deal with his thoughts, but deep down she doubted it.
Rhys grunted and shifted opposite her, returning to his peaceful slumber; she looked at him laying there, his face relaxed with sleep and considered how much he had been there for her over those months. Holding her while she cried, helping out in any way he could, she felt an enormous amount of pride for him, but something had shifted in their relationship, it was almost as if they were flat mates and best friends more than lovers and partners. She had found herself coming home from a hard day, and wanting to go straight back. Whether it was due to the sight of Jack on CCTV in the firing range; unloading round after round of bullets into targets only he could see like a robot for hours at a time, or the sound of a cup of coffee shattering across the floor as Ianto remembered his fallen colleagues, friends, she would find him bent down, tears rolling down his cheeks as he picked up the broken pieces of china, ignoring the fact he had cut his hand.
That was happening a lot less these days but there was still the thought of it every time Jack cleaned his gun in his office with a faraway expression on his face or when Ianto gave her a cup of coffee and their eyes met.
She found herself coming home to Rhys, and almost resenting that she was there with him when she could have been at the hub in case Jack or Ianto needed her. She wasn't naive, she knew Jack and Ianto were trying to work through it both separately and together, and she envied them for it.
On better days she would see simple interaction between them, a glance, a touch, one of Jacks unruly flirting statements or a clipped note of sarcasm from Ianto, and she found herself at home with Rhys, unconsciously using one of those phrases she had heard that day, and instead of provoking a glance, a touch, or a response she had expected, she would find Rhys looking at her like she had grown two heads.
She had noticed over the past few weeks that the obvious flirting between Jack and Ianto had disappeared, she thought maybe they were doing it for her, because they had both suddenly become less focused on each other, and more on her.
Instead of Jack taking Ianto out for a coffee by the bay, he took her. Instead of Ianto taking his coffee into Jacks office, he would often sit on the sofa by her desk and ask her how she was getting on. Thinking about it more and more, it was a little odd, maybe they had a row or a disagreement over something. She made a mental note to look into it more when she got back.
She shook her head, trying to dissolve those foggy and oppressive thought, trying instead to focus on her holiday.