Twilight
Chapter 23
Edward Cullen
Saving My Angel
Separation Anxiety
It was a long, miserable plane ride. I was impossibly anxious to be united with my other half. Passengers around us were trying hard not to stare and thinking They're strange. Why can't that boy sit still? And why are they all impossibly beautiful?
When the plane landed, and the unloading began, I struggled, even under Jasper's influence—we were now in the same building—not to do something I would regret later.
As Carlisle, Emmett, and I finally stepped off the plane into the Phoenix Airport, I struggled to keep an inconspicuous human speed. It was pure agony, being separated from Bella, my Bella, literally like half of me was missing. She was my angel, my personal miracle, the reason for my existence. Life without her was my meaning of hell.
I saw Alice standing with Jasper. Bella was nowhere in sight. Alice's face was emotionless, her eyes miles away. I picked up on her thoughts. Bella was in a mirrored room—a dance studio—surrounded by broken glass and her own blood. James was hovering over her.
A snarl ripped through my throat as I read Jasper's mind. He was thinking about when he had escorted Bella to the bathroom exactly ten minutes and fifty-three seconds ago and she had run off through the doors on the other side. Her scent ended in the shuttle area outside.
When we got to them, Alice handed me a letter written on hotel stationary. It was in Bella's handwriting, the envelope addressed to her mother. It looked like she had been shaking—sobbing, even—as she wrote. I read it quickly, and then reread it. It just wouldn't sink in. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to understand what she had written. I read it for a third time, a fourth. How could this possibly be?
Dear Edward,
I love you. I am so sorry. He has my mom, and I have to try. I know it may not work. I am so very, very sorry.
Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get away from them it will be a miracle. Tell them thank you for me. Alice, especially, please.
And please, please don't come after him. That's what he wants, I think. I can't bear it if anyone has to be hurt because of me, especially you. Please, this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me.
I love you. Forgive me,
Bella
I was swallowed whole by sorrow as I read. How could she do this to me? The ballet studio is on Fifty-eighth Street and Cactus, a few blocks away from Bella's mother's house, Alice informed me.
"Why aren't we leaving?" I growled. "That bloodsucking bastard isn't going to wait for us to come!"
"Edward, let's just think this through for a moment. Contemplate logically," Carlisle said calmly. He placed his hand on my shoulder.
I shook it off. "We can think logically all you like while we travel to that ballet studio," I growled. "There's no time to stand around and think logically." I was horrified to think that every minute, every second, that we weren't moving was increasing our chances of being too late, and decreasing the chances of Bella's survival.
Carlisle stopped for half a second. I saw the plan forming in his head. We would go to the rental car garage and steal the fastest car with five or more seats that we could find. Alice would drive, she knew how to get to that damned ballet studio. When we got there, Alice would wait in the car until James was destroyed by Emmett and Jasper while Carlisle and I would go do our best to save Bella. "Do our best," were his exact words.
"Do our best?" I hissed at him.
"It's all I can promise, Edward," Carlisle said solemnly.
We all started towards the rental car garage. Carlisle pointed out a car in his mind and I dashed into the office and quickly found the keys, neatly labeled, in a cupboard behind the desk. No one was in the office. Thank God it just so happened to be lunch break. I didn't want to kill anyone.
As soon as I was back into the garage, I pushed the unlock button on the remote-key. A Mercedes SUV lit up. Everyone piled in. Alice was in the driver's seat, her feet barely touching the pedals, with Carlisle in the passenger's seat, and Emmett, Jasper, and I piled into the second row. Within seconds, we were speeding down the highway, as fast as the car could go, but still not fast enough. I focused on keeping the car in one piece.
By the time we got to the ballet studio on Fifty-Eighth Street and Cactus, though, my seat no longer had a seatbelt and there were strips of vinyl and stuffing covering the floor, remnants of Carlisle's headrest. That was as far as I had gotten before Jasper had, once again, used his special talent to calm me down.
Brokenness, Pain, and Indecision
Emmett and Jasper left the car first. When the door opened and Alice cut the engine, I heard James thinking about his meal. He stopped as he saw Emmett and Jasper charge into the room. "Not my sister, you son of a bitch!" Emmett roared. James's thoughts were quickly ended as I heard an unspeakable metallic shriek.
Carlisle, Alice, and I were out of the car quickly, even for vampires. All three of us, with me in the lead, were in the studio in less than half a second. I took in Bella's broken, mangled body. It looked exactly like it did in Alice's vision. The staggering scent of her blood reached me, but, somehow, it just didn't affect me this time. "Oh no, Bella, no!" I cried. She didn't move but for the small rise and fall of her chest as she gasped for air.
Emmett and Jasper growled as they ripped James apart, piece by evil piece. It would have terrified her if she was conscious. Not for the first time, I was glad she wasn't. I only wished she was well enough to be talking while she slept.
"Bella, please! Bella listen to me, please, please, Bella, please!" I begged. No response. If I could cry tears, the entire city of Phoenix would be flooded. "Carlisle!" He could do something, couldn't he? Anything.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper pour a container of liquid on the pile of James. He and Emmett then exited quickly, the whole time, holding their breath.
"Bella, Bella, no, oh please, no, no!" An unfamiliar sound came from deep with in me, making my empty chest feel as if it was being ripped apart. I realized that I was sobbing.
"Bella!" I wept. My voice sounded tortured. Why did this have to happen? I knew the answer. Because I had exposed Bella and then provoked a sadistic vampire like the utterly selfish idiot that I was.
Carlisle examined Bella. "She's lost some blood, but the head wound isn't deep." He said calmly. As the shrieking metal noise ended, I could hear her feeble heart beat, the most important sound in my world. "Watch out for her leg, it's broken."
I howled. I hated that awful monster. Too bad Emmett and Jasper hadn't saved some of James for me. This was my personal hell. Thoughts of the Volturi ran through my mind. What would I have to do to get them to kill me? Jump off a tall building and land gracefully? Pick up a truck and throw it through a wall? Drink a human's blood in public? Or simply walk into the sun?
Carlisle went on methodically. "Some, ribs, too, I think."
Bella made a strange grunting sound.
"Bella, you're going to be fine"—I wasn't too sure of that, and I really hated lying to her like that. I had already made her life bad enough. She deserved so much better.—"Can you hear me, Bella? I love you."
"Edward," she moaned quietly.
Relief enveloped me. "Yes, I'm here."
"It hurts," Bella whimpered. She looked like she sincerely meant what she said.
"I know, Bella, I know." I turned to Carlisle. "Can't you do anything?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice peeking through the window. She wasn't surprised or shocked, but sorrowful.
Carlisle turned away from Bella. "My bag, please…Hold your breath, Alice, it will help." Alice dashed in with a bag that would have been way too heavy for her when she was human.
"Alice?" Bella groaned.
"She's here." I said. "She knew where to find you."
"My hand hurts." Odd, Carlisle hadn't said anything about her hand, yet. It hadn't looked worse than any of her other injuries.
I tried to comfort her. "I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something, it will stop."
"My hand is burning!" Bella screamed, tormented. I looked at her hand. I noticed something I hadn't before.
"Carlisle! Her hand!" I was shocked in a way that was horrific.
It was only too clear, why it hurt that much. It was appalling. "He bit her," Carlisle said. He wasn't calm any more. He was disgusted.
I gasped in terror as I read what Carlisle was thinking.
Alice saw it, too. "Edward, you have to do it." I tried to stay calm as I brushed at the tears on my angel's beautiful, pained face.
It didn't work. "No!" I couldn't risk that! No! Impossible!
"Alice," Bella groaned as I stared into her delicate face.
I looked at Carlisle with terror in my eyes. "There may be a chance," he said.
"What?" I begged, hoping he had thought of something else and I hadn't heard it yet.
"See if you can suck the venom back out. The wound is fairly clean." Carlisle started to stop the blood flowing from Bella's scalp.
"Will that work?" Alice asked. From her voice, I could tell that she was having trouble with the blood.
"I don't know, but we have to hurry," Carlisle said.
"Carlisle, I…" I struggled, "I don't know if I can do that."
"It's your decision, Edward, either way. I can't help you. I have to get this bleeding stopped here if you're going to be taking blood from her hand."
"Edward!" Bella screamed. Her eyes flew open and found me after a moment. She took in my pain and doubt.
"Alice, get me something to brace her leg!" Carlisle said as he worked on Bella's head. "Edward, you have to do it now, or it will be too late."
My doubt was suddenly drowned out by immense determination as I grabbed her hand and bent down. I pressed my lips to her skin and sucked. Her blood tasted terrifyingly spectacular. Better than anything anyone has ever tasted. I kept going until her blood tasted clean. I didn't think I could stop. Thinking that I was going to kill the reason for my existence, knowing that her death would be my fault. It was the worst feeling I'd ever experienced. I pulled away with a Herculean effort. Bella's eyelids started to droop.
Alice started to brace Bella's leg. Carlisle locked Bella's head in a tight hold.
"Edward," Bella said quietly.
"He's right here," Carlisle softly assured her.
"Stay, Edward, stay with me…" I could see that she was going to lose consciousness soon.
"I will." I was trying hard not to drink any more blood, but, beneath the strain, I could hear my immense pride in stopping.
Bella sighed. I wished again that I could hear what she was thinking, why she was happy that I would stay. Didn't she think I was an awful monster for bringing all of this on her?
"Is it all out?" Carlisle asked me.
"Her blood tastes clean," I said quietly. If Bella wanted to sleep, I would do my best not do disturb her. "I can taste the morphine."
"Bella?" Carlisle said to her, loudly, waking her up.
"Mmmmm?"
"Is the fire gone?" he asked her.
"Yes," she whispered. "Thank you, Edward."
"I love you," I responded. That didn't even begin to cover it.
"I know," she breathed, so exhausted.
"Bella?" Carlisle asked again.
She frowned. "What?"
"Where is your mother?" Carlisle asked calmly.
"In Florida," she whispered. "He tricked me, Edward. He watched our videos." I could tell she was angry, but her voice was frail. "Alice." Bella's eyelids fluttered. "Alice, the video—he knew you, Alice, he knew where you came from." She paused for a minute. "I smell gasoline."
"It's time to move her," Carlisle said.
"No, I want to sleep," Bella said.
Oh, what good fortune in such terrible times. A chance to hold Bella, to have her so close. To know that I was protecting her, that nothing could harm my Bella. I smiled. "You, can sleep, sweetheart, I'll carry you," I comforted her.
I scooped my angel gently off the floor and cradled her to my chest. "Sleep now, Bella," I whispered into her ear, and started humming her lullaby.
We ran through the alleyways and unused roads of Phoenix to the hospital. When we arrived, where we would have to be seen by humans around us, we stayed in the shadows of the awning conveniently covering the sidewalk near the entrance, even though it was conveniently near twilight. Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and I started acting like humans ourselves. I tried to look like carrying Bella was making me tired, and we all slowed down to an excruciatingly slow human speed. Bella's heartbeat was the only thing on the planet that could keep me calm enough.
We walked towards the Emergency Room. Nurses, patients, and anyone else who was near stared at the six of us, especially Bella and I, covered in blood and glass, windswept, and, in Bella's case, hanging on to life by a tiny thread. Each breath was laborious.
Despite my protests, only Carlisle was allowed into the operation room with Bella. He had a reputation among a lot of the hospitals in the United States.
I sat in one of the plastic chairs in the waiting area as Alice made all of the phone calls. I stayed calm because of Jasper, and by planning what to do when we got back to Forks and coming up with the details as to why Bella had nearly died, and why I was here.
Bella had had enough of Forks and went home to Phoenix. I flew down with Carlisle (parental supervision) to try to convince her to come back. She agreed to come to our hotel, but on the way up, she had tripped on the stairs and fallen down two flights and through a window.
"You're going to need evidence for that," Alice giggled beside me.
"That's your job. Have fun. I saw a blood bank room on the way in," I told her.
An image of a bright pink poster hanging in the cafeteria of Forks High School came to my mind. I guess I had my plan for when we got back to Forks. After all, I didn't want Bella to miss out on any human experiences because of me. Also, that might just be fun for me, too.
Three seconds after I had made the decision, Alice called.
"Yes, Alice. I was planning on asking you to help Bella."
Two incredibly long hours later, Carlisle wheeled Bella, attached to many different machines, out of the operation room and into one of the recovery rooms. All of her skin that I could see was covered in bruises.
From that moment on, I refused to leave Bella's side.