A/N- This is the sequel to Starting Over and I really recommend reading that before starting this. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you like it:)

Chapter 1

Stacie

I run upstairs as fast as I can but it's like my feet are stuck in cement. Grunting, I slowly push forward until I reach my bedroom. I instantly go to my nightstand and try opening the drawer but it's locked. I frantically look around until someone taps my shoulder.

"Looking for these,"Jesse taunts, holding a set of keys in his hand. There's blood all over him and a hole in the middle of his forehead. Suddenly, the gun appears in my hand and Jesse looks normal. He starts flickering in and out, making me dizzy.

"Do it,"he says and suddenly it's not him but Chloe. "Do it Stacie. We both know you can. You've done it before, haven't you?" I scream and try to put the gun down but instead, my arm moves up until it's pointed at Chloe. She flickers in and out until she turns to Mason Drake.

"You're not a good friend. She doesn't even know who you really are." He flickers out until Beca stands in front of me. Instead of keys in her hand, she's holding Emily.

"I won't do it,"I scream at her but I can feel my finger start to tighten around the trigger. "No! Oh god please don't make me do it."

"It's what you have to do, Stacie."Beca smiles and flickers out until she's...him. No way. I've tried my hardest to forget him so why would he be here now?

"It's who you are,"he says and the gun goes off.

Gasping, I sit up in bed, trying to calm my racing heart. That dream...Why was he in it? It's probably everything that's happened this year. Or last year since it's now officially New Year's. I look at my clock and sigh. It's 4:00 and I know that I definitely won't be going back to sleep. I get dressed and make some coffee before going into my office to work on my newest book. This is the one that features the sexy doctor inspired by the one and only Mason Drake. I haven't seen him since Beca got out of the hospital and many times, I found myself driving that direction before coming to my senses and turning around. He woke something in me that I'm not sure I like. I worked so hard to keep my old self and past locked tight in a box and for some reason since meeting him, they started resurfacing. Like dying my hair back to its natural color. What the hell? I told myself that I would never go back to any of that. Instead, I'm throwing it all out of the window.

I shake those thoughts away and start working on the book. My publisher thinks that I have almost half of it done when really, I have nothing. It's been so hard for me to even get up in the morning that there's no way I could do this book. I have the two main characters. Dr. Jason Armstrong and Jane Oakley. For some reason, I used my middle name for the girl and the guy's name is close to Mason's. It's not like Mason and I will ever get together and now I'm letting my non existent love life take over my romance books. Sighing, I get to writing and once I start, I can't stop. Soon the first couple of chapters are done. Taking a break, I get up and go into the kitchen, making myself a cup of coffee that I had completely forgotten about. My phone rings and I hesitantly answer it, not wanting to be bothered. That tends to be my attitude lately.

"Hey girl,"Beca shouts and I involuntarily smile. "What you up too?"

"Nothing much. I was just starting on my new book. You?"

"Well,"Beca pauses and I sigh, knowing that she wants something. "I was wondering if we could hang out for a little bit. We haven't been able to lately and I really miss you." What she really means is that I'm the reason we haven't hung out and sadly, it's true. As much as I miss her, I can't bring myself to be like we used to. I've always hated pretending around her and as much as I would love to tell her who I really am, I can't. Not without having to admit what a horrible person I am and having to face my past.

"Um.."I start but Beca interrupts.

"Before you say no, I'm outside and I have Emily with me. She really misses her godmother. Please, Stacie." I sigh heavily and tell her yes. She squeals and hangs up before opening the front door.

"There you are,"Beca jokes, coming into the kitchen and setting Emily into my arms. "I feel like we haven't seen each other in forever."

"Yeah,"is all I can say. Emily coos and I hold out my finger for her to hold. She grabs onto it and pulls my finger into her mouth. My heart cracks at the memories and pain of my past trying to break through. Beca makes herself a cup of coffee before sitting on a stool at the island.

"How have you been?" I just shrug, trying hard to ignore Beca's intense gaze. "Stacie, don't lie to me. I know you better than that."

"No you don't,"I mutter and Beca cocks her head to the side.

"What was that?" I just shake my head and adjust Emily in my arms. "Stacie, I'm worried about you. Ever since Jesse-no scratch that-since Aubrey, you've been different. Like you're disappearing and I can't do anything but watch."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I was tortured for days and beaten for several years and yet I'm doing better than you. I can't help but think it's something else that's bothering you. Maybe you should go see someone. It-"

"No!"I shout, startling both of us and I calm down before continuing. "I said I'm fine and I am so just stop pushing. Please." Beca nods and looks down to hide the tears in her eyes, but I see them. My heart breaks knowing that I caused that but there's nothing I can do. She cannot find out my past no matter what.

"She's gotten so big,"I whisper and Beca looks up, her eyes a little brighter than just a second ago.

"Yeah, she's growing up way too fast." Silence descends around us and I look everywhere but her eyes. My eyes drift to her left hand where an engagement ring is.

"Oh my god, Beca! You didn't tell me you and Chloe are engaged." Beca smiles, her whole face lighting up.

"I tried telling you but…"She trails off and I clear my throat to get rid of the lump that formed. I've hurt her so bad by being distant and I can't let her know why.

"I'm so happy for you,"I shout and hug her, careful not to squish Emily. She laughs and hugs me back, all forgiven for the time being. I hand Emily back to her, not wanting to be dragged down by the sorrow threatening to take over.

"Thank you. I'm really excited."

"When are you planning on having the wedding?"

"Hopefully in just a few months. The details aren't worked out just yet but we know we don't want anything too big, just family and close friends. I wanted to ask if you would be my maid of honor?" Now I squeal this time and Beca laughs.

"Of course,"I smile and grab her hand. "I can't wait."

"Me neither. I love Chloe so much. I never thought that after Jesse, I would ever be in love with somebody again. Much less somebody who loves me back." Beca squeezes my hands and my heart warms just from seeing the pure happiness on her face. It's the kind of happiness that I used to think was a myth. Then I met… I shake my head before I let myself think any further than that.

"I'm so happy that you finally found the right person. I don't like Chloe that much but for you, I will try my best."

"Thanks. So anything going on in the romance department for you?" An image of Mason pops into my head but I push it away. I haven't seen him in months and yet I still can't stop thinking of him.

"Nope,"I tell her, Mason's startling blue eyes and charming smile still burning a hole in my mind.