"Mommy..." My voice felt tiny and she didn't seem to hear me. Her face went green as she took in what had happened. Three men stood in the doorway of our cabin. Daddy was on the floor in front of them, lying in a puddle of blood that kept getting bigger and bigger.

"Mommy" I spoke up, but I may as well had not said anything. She glanced at the scissors on the table with frightened eyes, but I could see what she was planning to do behind them.

I always saw her do the same thing over and over again. It was never surprising, but it was just as terrifying and horrific each time.

She slowly reached for the scissors and stood up from the table.

"No! Don't do it!" I shouted desperately, but she didn't flinch. The intruders didn't even notice me. I cried out for her, screamed at her to stop, but she just kept walking, almost gliding to them, scissors in hand, and ready to fight.

"NO!" I was frantic now as she raised the scissors to one their throats, but he easily knocked it out of her hand. He pulled out his knife and stabbed.

"MOMMY" I screamed. She fell to the floor slowly. It was always felt like it took hours for her to fall. And every time all I could do is watch and scream.
Why didn't she listen! Why couldn't I stop her! Why couldn't I do anything?

Stupid

Weak

Useless

She fell to the ground beside Daddy and then the intruders looked at me. One of them began to walk over, the knife he killed Mommy and Daddy with in his hand. Their blood was still on it. The other two stayed at the door. They always did. All they ever did was laugh at us.

But he was getting closer and closer. I was crying out at the top of my lungs but I still wasn't loud enough to stop him. He took his knife and slashed my throat, blood everywhere and

I woke up kicking the blankets off me. My heart was hammering as if it would explode inside my chest. My hand instantly reached for where I would have been cut. Six years later and I still had nightmares.

I sat up and wiped the sweat off my face with my t-shirt, and then rested my head on my knees. I felt sick to my stomach. This was the first nightmare I've had in the past few months. Sometimes it was my comrades who were killed, or Armin and Eren, but tonight it was my parents who died because I couldn't save them. They were always what I saw after they died.

I was only nine years old then and there was nothing I could have done to save my Mom and Dad. How could I save them from those monsters?

You were able to save yourself. I remind myself, and my thoughts go back to Eren. If he was not there that day to get me away from them, I can't even think about where I would be now.

I'm not that same little girl anymore. I have grown into a braver, stronger version of me after my parents died and I moved into Shinganshina with the Jaegers, after Wall Maria fell down, after I finished training with the soldiers, and even now I'm is still growing to be better. At least now if anyone tried to threaten me or the very few people I cared about, I could do something about it.

I calmed down and the sick feeling passed. I made my way through the dark bedroom and into the hall, and then the kitchen. Our cabin wasn't very special, but it reminded me of the one I grew up in, isolated from town. Exactly what we needed for Eren right now so we could learn more about his titan form.

The kitchen was spotless. I don't think anyone would even think about leaving it messy, not unless they wanted Squad Leader Levi to kill us all in our sleep. I really don't doubt he would. I get a glass of water and take a big gulp. It kind of helps to calm my nerves a bit. I just stood there against the sink for a while, staring absent mindlessly. It's still dark, but I can make out the picture of all of us framed on the wall. Hanji insisted on taking one for us when we moved in. I can't see it properly, but I know that in it all of us are there. Historia, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Armin, Eren, and I. Levi refused to be in the picture and stayed with Hanji behind the camera. There used to be more of us. Most of them are dead. A few became traitors, so now there is only us. At least we have a picture of the seven of us. All my photos of my parents are back in Shinganshina town.

I wonder how we'll get back there, if ever. I don't even know if I want to.

I finish my glass of water. I wasn't really looking when I went to put it in the sink, and it smashes on the ground. The shards scattered all around me and I end up stepping on them in the dark

"Shit!" I hiss under my breath. I turn on one of the lanterns on the counter and, hopping on my good foot, avoiding the rest of the glass, I go to open the cabinet and find the first aid kit. I get it down and take out a plaster and sit on the edge of the counter. I put the plaster on the cut after making sure there's no glass in it.

I notice the room getting brighter and when I look up, I see Eren wrapped in a blanket, standing in the door way with a candle holder in hand. The lighting makes his sleepy eyes look more gold than green.

"You ok? I heard something." He asks with concern in his voice.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you. I just broke a glass."

"Its fine, I was awake anyways." He says, getting the sweeping brush and dust pan from the corner of the room

"I can clean it up" I tell him.

"Stay there. You'll cut your feet again." He points out, looking at the little drops of blood on the floor, and then he starts to clear away the glass.

"So why are you up?" I ask him and he just shrugs.

"Just couldn't get to sleep." He says as he goes down to pick up the shards.
"What about you." He asks while he goes to the bin and throws the glass into it.

"I had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep." I tell him. He sits up on the counter with me.

"I didn't know you still had nightmares."

"They're hardly uncommon. Everyone has them."

"Yeah I guess." He says, putting his blanket around the two of us. I let my head rest on his shoulder as he puts his arm around me.
"Still the same one?" He asks.

"Sometimes they're different, but yeah, it was that one tonight." I say.

"I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything."

"I know." He said, looking down at floor. "I just don't like that you're feeling sad or scared, and I don't know what to do to make it better." I think of the all the times he saved me, even when he didn't realise it. I think of how he was always there when I had nearly nothing. He was even here tonight, and he put the blanket around me to keep me warm, kind of like all those years ago.

"You're already making it better."

Happy eremika week! Big thanks to one of my bestest friends, IraTamashi99AmyliaZanpakuto. She's also writing stuff for the week so give her a visit!

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