Disclaimer: Don't own them. At all.

Author's Notes: One word. Boredom.

Judging Rezo

Lasafara Fett

"All rise." The sound of thirty or so people standing up was followed shortly by the sound of a solitary pair of feet walking across the room. Then, they stopped.

            "You may be seated. This court is now in session. The honorable Judge Judy presiding."

            Today's case is an unusual one. The plaintiff, a Mr. Zelgadis Greywords, claims that the defendant, a Mr. Rezo Greywords, wrongfully transformed him into a chimera, and is suing for damages sustained during the ordeal, as well as the mental and emotional trauma that has occurred since the transformation because of other's reactions to his new appearance.

            Judge Judy looked at the two men before her. "I can't call you both 'Mr. Greywords.' I hope it's alright that I call you by your first names, to avoid confusion."

            The men nodded.

            "Okay then. Now, Zelgadis, you claim that Rezo here turned you into a chimera without your permission, correct?"

            Zel nodded. "He had no right. I want to be human, not this freak of nature."

            Judy sighed. "Right. So, how old, exactly, were you when he did this?"

            "I was 12."

            Rezo spoke up. "Actually, Judge, he was eleven. The next day was his twelfth birthday. I have the paperwork right here."

            The bailiff walked over and gathered up the paperwork Rezo indicated, then handed it to Judy. She looked through it, nodding, and finally looked back up.

            "It appears that you put a lot of thought into this before doing it. Now, back to my point. Zelgadis, you were eleven years old. These papers prove as much. Who, exactly, was your legal guardian at that time?"

            Zel shrugged. "My parents had died, so I had to live with my grandfather/great-grandfather."

            "I'm not asking how that is possible. I just want you to point out who that person is."

            Looking rather pained, Zel pointed to Rezo. "It was him. He was the one who was supposed to take care of me, to love me."

            Judy was starting to look a bit pained herself. "So, you were living with him, correct? He was your legal guardian, and you were underage, a minor, at the time. Is this correct?"

            Zel nodded. Rezo nodded as well. Judy motioned to Rezo then. "I want to see proof that you were the legal guardian."

            "Of course."

            After looking over the paperwork some more, Judy peered at Zel. "So, you claim that this was a very painful process, and that he had no right to perform it without your permission, correct?"

            Zel agreed, again.

            Judy nodded. "So, what you're saying is that, as a guardian, Rezo had no right to put his charge through a painful process that would result in a positive outcome?"          

            Shock radiated from the chimera. "You call this positive? I never asked to become a freak. Never."

            "According to this paper, signed by you, you asked your guardian to make you stronger for your birthday."

            "Stronger, certainly. But not a freak who could never walk openly into a town, who could never dine with others, who coul—"

            "Shut up already. Stop your angsting, now." She turned to Rezo. "Now, I see that you put a lot of time and effort into planning and designing the perfect body for your charge. I have here in front of me a set of designs that you went through before choosing one, and the chosen design appears quite functional."

            "But—" Zel started.

            "But nothing. I'm the judge here, not you. Besides, with that build, how did you expect him to make you powerful?"

            "Well, ah—"

            "Well nothing. Now, shut up." She turned back to Rezo. "I don't find any problem with the design, or the actual changing process. However, you did enact a transformation that has made it difficult for the plaintiff to function in everyday life."

            "Your Honor, parents and guardians are often forced to choose between two negative options. I have here my charge's school and medical records, which indicate that up until his twelfth birthday he came home every day with wounds, some of which often landed him in the hospital. I simply couldn't allow this to continue unabated."

            "Your Honor! He changed me from that to someone who couldn't show his face in public!"

            "Look, Zelgadis, you're on national television. And since we couldn't allow your cloak, hood, or face covering, you are in public view. So shut up and sit down." Judy was starting to look exasperated with him.

            She looked over the records, and nodded. "This verifies what you have said, Rezo. However, from your notes, this is a reversible process. So, why didn't you reverse it on his 18th birthday?"

            "Because, if you note, he assisted in my death before he reached the age of eighteen."

            Judge Judy gave him a rather odd look. "Your death?"

            "Yes. I was in the process of curing my blindness, when I unintentionally released Lord Ruby-Eyes. I was partially consumed by Lord Ruby-Eyes, then died when he and his companions destroyed Lord Ruby-Eyes."

            Judge Judy just blinked at him.

            "Here, I have the paperwork to prove my death, as well as a copy of the pass I was given by the Lord of Nightmares to appear and testify."

            Judy looked over these newest pages, then nodded. "Well, Zelgadis, it looks like you brought this all down on your own head."

            "What!? He was the one who changed me! I can't continue living as a freak of nature! Its not right!"

            "Bailiff, restrain him. I find in favor of the defendant. Rezo was perfectly within his rights as a caretaker to transform Zelgadis for the reasons he did. Zelgadis requested strength for his birthday, and he received it. Finally, in assisting with the death of Rezo, he himself destroyed any chance of being restored. Case dismissed."

            The gravel rang through the courtroom.

Closing Comments

Zelgadis:

            It's not right! I didn't ask to be a freak! I didn't ask to go through life hidden behind a mask. I—

            [cut for length and angst]

Rezo:

            I expected as much. I had made sure I had my paperwork in order, and he did request it. Besides, I was his legal guardian at the time, which allowed me quite a bit more freedom than if I had not been.

And Judge Judy makes yet another pronouncement on men's lives. How do you do it, Your Honor?

Sore wa himitsu desu.