Becoming Closer

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R (Language)

Disclaimer: Nothing.

AN: Sorry, no idea where this came from. And yes, I know I'm horribly behind in writing, but I offer this in the meantime.

Summary: Literati. There's no happy ending for them, not even friendship, but their anger helps her repair another broken relationship. AU.

Rory approached him on silent footsteps. Her three-inch heels sank into the lush green grass. Felt wrong in her opinion that beautiful landscape be the home to such pain. But she supposed it wasn't the land that held the pain, it was the people left behind. The scenery was actually a symbol of the continuation of life, not the end. In some way, the end should always be as beautiful as this. Rolling hills, tall shady trees, the soft buzzing of insects and the hum of nature all around.

But she was sure that he wasn't hearing any of that. It wasn't natural music he was hearing at the moment, it was pain. And it was the pain that drew her closer to him. "Jess?"

He didn't turn. Didn't acknowledge her in any way.

Sidling up to his side, she stood with him, staring down at the ground. "I'm so sorry."

"Why?" His voice cracked. "Why do people say that? What are they sorry about?"

Rory shrugged and the wind tossed her wavy hair over her shoulders.

"Sorry doesn't change anything, Rory." He finally turned to look at her. She was different, he mused. She lost some of the baby-face quality in her cheeks, her face held more mature lines, and she lost the innocent sparkle from her eyes. They were still the brightest blue he had ever seen, but now they were just sharp, not sparkling. "You look good."

She was caught off guard by the comment. "Thanks."

"How did you find out?"

"Luke."

Jess nodded. "Of course." He cocked his head to the side and dropped his gaze back to the ground once more. "Last I heard, you lost touch with your mom."

Rory winced. It wasn't as simple as 'loosing touch.' It was a separation. A divorce. How strange that she never went through a divorce of her parents, but experienced as an adult with her mom. That separation was the hardest thing she ever went through. But it was pride that held her back. Nothing could take back the thoughtless words that she had thrown at her mom. Nothing could change the hurtful things they said to one another. "I still talk to Luke once in a while." Twice a year, max.

"Huh."

"How did it…"

"Car accident."

Rory nodded. "Oh."

"Drunk driver."

"Sorry."

Jess gave her a look. A condescending one accompanied with a cock of his eyebrow.

"Right. Sorry doesn't change anything." Rory looked down. "Did you guys…become closer recently?"

Jess barked out a soft and ironic laugh. "And by recently you mean in the last ten years?"

Oh right. Rory bit her lip. Ten years had passed since she last saw Jess. But at thirty-five, he didn't look much different from the teenage version of him. Sure, he looked more polished and privileged, but nothing too drastic. "Yeah."

"No."

"Oh." She was coming up blank.

"And now you want to ask why I seem so upset if we weren't close."

"I didn't mean that."

Jess rubbed at his mouth. "That's what you wanted to say though." He sighed. "She was still my mom, Rory. No matter what. If it were Lorelai, you'd be upset too."

"That's a low blow, Jess." Rory's eyes flashed anger.

He was spoiling for a fight. "Yeah right. Tell me Rory, was it worth it? He cheated on you one too many times, didn't he? Has a kid with one of them, right? Was it worth loosing your mother over that bastard?"

"Shut the hell up."

"Why?" He sneered. "Too close to the truth? You gave up your best friend at the promise of money. That's what it was, wasn't it? The money. The lust. The danger. He had those in spades. It was love, honesty, and trust that he couldn't give you. But hey, as long as there was green, it was enough, right?"

Without warning, her hand swiped across his face, leaving a dull red handprint on his right cheek. "Fuck you."

"No thanks." He popped his jaw but otherwise kept the sneer on his lips. "Get the hell out of my sight, Gilmore. I don't want you ruining a perfectly good funeral for me."

She shook her head, angry and sad all at once. "I know this is hard for you. I won't even try to understand. I admit I don't know what it feels like to loose a parent, but I think you're being a bastard because that's genuinely who you are."

"Fuck off."

Raising her voice, she became angrier with each passing word. "I came here today for you. To tell you that I'm sorry for what happened. To lend you a shoulder or whatever. I thought we could be—"

"If you say 'friends' I might hit back, Rory. Don't you fucking say that to me!"

"What the hell is your problem?"

He scoffed, a mean expel of breath. "I knew you would come today. And not because of the fact that Liz just died, but because you found an excuse to see me again. Don't you think I knew about your husband? That loser you married when you were not even old enough to make your own decisions. Just what the hell were you thinking Rory? Twenty-four and married to a guy who had already proven that he couldn't keep his dick in his pants?"

"How is that any of your business?" She shouted.

"It's my business when you come back to me looking for a thrill. A quickie to get over the hurt of your husband cheating on you!"

Her breath was robbed from her. "How dare you—"

"What?" He advanced on her, hands deceptively lazy resting in his pockets. "Are you saying that's not why you came? Lending me your bullshit 'shoulder.' That's what you wanted, isn't it? You wanted to comfort me straight into bed for a good lay." He smiled, baring all teeth. "You forget I was there once. Remember when he first cheated on you? You ran to New York and I, like the idiot I was, thought you were there for me."

Rory's head dropped. "I didn't—"

"Didn't what? Mean to hop into bed with me and then leave without a word?"

"I was with him…" She fumbled for words. "And he said that we would work things out..."

"Yeah, yeah. He said he was sorry and even though Lorelai told you it was a mistake, you blew off your mom and ran off to Vegas with the bastard."

"You don't know anything about me." Rory angrily shoved at him.

"You're right." Jess stepped back. "You're not the girl I once loved."

Her mouth dropped open. "What did you just say?"

Jess shook his head sadly. "I was in love with you, Rory. When you came to New York, looking for me. I loved you. I could've given you what you deserved. No, I didn't have the money at the time, but I would have given you my life. You would've been my partner, not my property. I would have given my heart to you. All you had to do was stay."

She swallowed the lump but failed. Tears coursed down her face and her anger dissolved into despair. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"You never asked." Jess wiped at his own damp eyes. Gently, so softly, he pleaded with her. "Please leave me, Rory. Please just go away. Don't come back."

She nodded.

He didn't turn to check if she listened but spoke anyways. "Call your mother, Rory. Don't ruin what little time you could have with her because you were too stubborn to admit that you were wrong."

She didn't acknowledge him, but she heard.

And she left.

AN: Please read and review.