Shepard vs. Jason.

Here it is my super secret crossover and to my knowledge the first Mass Effect/Friday the 13th crossover. Have fun everyone.

The Normandy had been attacked by Batarian extremist who wanted to kill the symbol of humanity, Commander Jonathan Shepard. The attack had failed miserably, with all Batarians being killed, but the Normandy had been greatly damaged. The crew was going to Earth to repair the ship, but what they didn't know was that the Batarians had left a surprise in the Normandy.

Shepard was going down the elevator to see Tali.

"Hey, baby, how the repairs going?"

"Jonathan what did I tell you? Stop calling me baby. I'm not a child."

"Tali I didn't mean it that way, but ok. Sorry, honey."

"That's better." Tali said with a sweet voice.

"How are the repairs going? "

"Well, but the Batarians really did a number on the ship. Not worse then the Collectors but they really did a lot of damage".

"Well, I'm sure my personal engineer can fix it"

"Shepard!" Tali interrupted him, wriggling her hands nervously looking if any one heard.

"Are you embarrassed of me?" Shepard said with a frown and a fake sad tone in his voice.

"No its just I don't want them to know about OUR personal lives."

"Oh that's sad" Shepard said. "I may have 'accidentally' told Garrus."

"Garrus! Of all people you told Garrus!"

"What? Doing it with a Quarian isn't something you do every day." Shepard said with an evil grin.

"Doing it with a Quarian! Is that what our night was?" Tali said in an angry tone Shepard never thought he would hear from her.

"Relax Tali, I'm only joking." Shepard said whit an Evil grin (+5 Renegade)

"Joking !" Tali was very angry but also slightly relieved, "you know sometimes I just hate your sense of humor!" Tali said trying to look angry.

"I would never tell Garrus about us. Besides, if I DID tell any one it would be the Illusive Man."

"Of course you would." Tali said.

Shepard picked her up and started swinging her around "Shepard What are you doing! "

As he kept spinning Tali around, Tali started laughing. Shepard kept spinning her around for a little longer before putting her down.

"I'm sorry about the Horrible joke, Tali." Shepard said looking very sad.

"Its OK, Jonathan. I forgive you." she replied.

"Good." Shepard said looking slightly relieved.

"But your still sleeping on the couch tonight. "

"Ah come on"

...

"Commander we are approaching Earth." said Joker over the intercom.

"Good Joker ill meet you on the bridge."

"Aye aye. Oh and Commander. Don't go all soft on me, now."

"You were listening to us?" Shepard almost yelled.

"You'd wanna keep your voice down or I might accidentally send your conversation with Tali to Garrus."

"Joker, I swear if you tell anyone, I'm gonna have you do a marathon through the Normandy"

"Oh your so mean Commander your hurting my feelings" said Joker, getting the 'threat'.

"Bosh'tet" Shepard said with a small smile.

"I see that you picked up a few Quarian words." Tali said looking proud.

"Well I have to understand what my Quarian Girlfriend says in her native language." Shepard said with great emphasis on the Quarian girlfriend part.

Tali started wriggling her finger nervously. She was happy with the comment but still became nervous when he said it.

"Well, I'd better go. See ya latter, honey." Shepard said as he started walking towards the Elevator.

…

"There you are mister 'My Quarian girlfriend'." said joker in very sarcastic tone

"Laugh it up joker" Shepard said slightly annoyed.

"We are one minute away from the L2 station." Said EDI.

Just as EDI finished the sentence the Normandy got rocketed by a huge explosion from the outside of the ship.

"EDI are we under attack?" shouted Shepard.

"No Commander. It appears the Batarians set a charge onto the hull during the attack ."

"Dammit, Hold on we are going to have to emergency land!" shouted Joker.

"But the Normandy Can't Land shouted Shepard.

"Don't you think I know that! We don't have much choice!"

"EDI tell the Crew to strap in. This is gonna hurt!"

As the Normandy entered Earths atmosphere, pieces of the Normandy started chipping off.

"Oh ** we Lost communications Shouted joker."

"If you don't keep the ship steady, we'll lose a lot more that the comms!"

"Try to crash somewhere soft!" Shepard said, half joking.

The Normandy Crashed (or as Joker would call it Emergency landing) In a forest somewhere in The United North American States.

"Oh ** that hurt." said Joker while holding his broken ribs.

"Get Joker to medical and check for other wounded." commanded Shepard. Just then, Tali ran up to the cockpit and jumped into Shepard's arms.

"I'm fine Tali. Are you ok?"

"Yes I'm fine Jonathan. Keelah, that was a rough ride."

"I know .Lets go and see where we are."

As Tali and Shepard emerged from the Normandy, they saw and old, decomposing wooded sign.

Camp Crystal Lake.

That's the end of the prologue, folks. What do you think review and I'm open to suggestions.

Thanks for reading and special thanks to deathunit100010 for helping me with Grammar and spelling.