IceGirl2772: HEY, GUYS! This is IceGirl2772 and Call-1800-Bite-Me bringing to the Internet the CRAZIEST shit known to man!
Bite-Me: Somebody feed me NOW!
IceGirl2772: Bite-Me, be quiet.
Bite-Me: I DON'T WANNA!
Booth: What is wrong with you two?
IceGirl2772 and Bite-Me: A lot of things!
Bite-Me: Now quiet and say the disclaimer or else... *in a sing-song voice* NO PICTURE OF BONES IN A SWIM SUIT FOR YOU!
Booth: *pouting* But you promised...
Bite-Me: I know what I promised. Just say the disclaimer.
Booth: Fine. IceGirl2772 and Call-1800-Bite-Me do not own Bones or any of the characters. But they do own a whole lot of popcorn, chips and random items you find in your stomach.
IceGirl2772: *pouting* I can't eat popcorn and it also sucks that we don't own Bones. *normal* But we do own 2 OCs that are as crazy as we are.
Bite-Me: Dude, how can they be as crazy as us...*thinking face* HEY! THAT ACTUALLY MADE SENSE! OH MY GOD! THE WORLD MUST HAVE BEEN TAKEN OVER BY FLYING MONKIES WHEN I WAS ASLEEP!
IceGirl2772: Why?
Bite-Me: Well, because I'm thinking and that made sense.
IceGirl2772: Good point.
IceGirl2772 and Bite-Me: Now let's get on with the story before lover-boy over here *points to Booth drooling over Bones* figures out that we rigged the photo to blow up in his face.
Booth: Wait. You rigged it?
Bite-Me: *innocent look* Of course not...
IceGirl2772 and Bite-Me: NOW TO WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE READING!
!WARNING! !WARNING! CRAZINESS WILL ENSURE! !WARNING! !WARNING! MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT OF SWEARING! !WARNING! !WARNING! (Bite-Me: I think we have enough warnings... IceGirl2772 and Bite-Me: NOW ONWARD! XD)
!Chapter 1! *insert mystical music here*
"Let me guess: You wrapped up another case," Jamie guessed.
Jamie Burkes is an 18-year-old Australian woman who works at the diner and is close friends with Booth and Brennan. Actually, she's like a daughter to Booth. Her hair is honey blonde and the ends reach towards her waist. Her eyes are a striking hazel. Her skin is ivory and flawless.
"Yep. We still have the highest success rate in the country," Booth boasted.
"But we still have to finish the paperwork," Brennan pointed out.
"Damnit!" Booth exclaimed, pouting like a 5-year-old.
Suddenly, a 19-year-old woman walked into the diner wearing jeans and a black t-shirt that looks like a tux under a grey hoodie carrying a thermo cup containing some sort of liquid and bouncing her head up-and-down listening to music through her green, skull-candy headphones. She has dirty blonde hair that she wears in a low ponytail and looks very similar to Booth.
"Hey, Alex!" Jamie called as she began pouring Booth a cup of coffee.
"Hey, BB. *insert Jamie twitching here* How's it go-. BOOTH!" Alex exclaimed as she tackled hugged Booth.
"You 2 know each other?" Jamie and Brennan asked Booth, confused.
"No shit, Sherlock," Alex responded sarcastically.
"She's my niece," Booth added.
"Yes, I'm awesome. And you know it. And I can't explain it because I'm awesome," Alex said.
"Ali, how much coffee did you have?" Jamie asked concerned as she went to get Booth a cream pie. (Both: This is gonna be good... Booth: Shut up and let's continue. Both: *pouting* Fine, spoilt sport.)
"Don't Ali me and I had 50 cups!" Alex responded.
"50 cups?" Jamie repeated.
"50 cups," Alex answered.
"Special coffee?" Jamie guessed.
"Special coffee," Alex replied.
"What's her special coffee?" questioned a very confused Brennan.
"You don't wanna know," Jamie and Booth responded together.
"Well, I put coffee with vodka and I get coffee vodka! Cause coffee + vodka = COFFEE VODKA!" Alex explained.
"Plus one very hyper Alex," Booth added.
"You know it," Alex sing-songed.
"I swear, one of these days, that's coffee's gonna kill you," Jamie muttered as she placed the cream pie in front of Booth.
"No it won't. Many have tried, this coffee has tried and they all failed! Because I'm Superman!" Alex crowed as she did a Superman pose...
And knocks Booth face-first into his cream pie. Brennan started laughing her ass off, Alex is dancing around singing, 'Coffee + vodka = coffee vodka! Dun-dun-dun' and Jamie was trying her hardest not to join Brennan in laughing her ass off.
"Wow. You really are high," Jamie said as she shook her head in shame for her friend.
"Well, I know that, you know that, Booth and his pie know that; but the dolphins don't know that," Alex sighed.
Just then, Booth's face finally emerged from the cream pie...covered in cream. It only made Brennan laugh harder and cause Jamie to let some giggles escape her lips...and to give Alex a very comtemplating look on her face. A look which didn't go unnoticed by her best friend.
"What are you thinking?" Jamie asked her friend, suddenly nervous.
"Oh, I'm just thinking of doing this," Alex responded as she slapped Booth and sent him flying towards Brennan...
Which causes them to end up in a passionate lip-lock. (Bite-Me: For those who don't know what we mean... IceGirl2772: They're doing some spicy kissing. Bite-Me: You enjoyed saying that, didn't you? IceGirl2772: Yep. Bite-Me: ONWARD! IceGirl2772: You have a thing for onward, don't you? Bite-Me: Yep.) Booth and Brennan didn't pull away and kept on snogging...
"Well, I was right," Alex boasted proudly.
"How do you know that?" Jamie asked.
"They haven't stopped kissing," Alex pointed out.
"Yeah, but how do you know they like each other?" Jamie questioned.
"Booth told me when he was drunk," Alex responded.
"You got him drunk?" Jamie repeated in disbelief.
"Not intentionally! He drank some of my coffee and you KNOW what happens when people drink my coffee!" Alex defended.
"Yes. Don't remind me," Jamie sighed.
Just then, the rest of the Squints walked in and stopped at the sight before them. Zack's mouth has dropped to the floor, Hodgins is singing, 'Whoop, whoop!' while doing fist pumps, Cam placed her hands in prayer formation and muttered to herself, 'Finally,' while looking up to the sky and Angela...well, she pulled out a camera out of nowhere (Bite-Me: I love how we can make people brings things out of nowhere! It's so entertaining! IceGirl2772: I know, right?) and was taking snapshots of the snogging couple whilst squealing her head off.
"Dude, if you have a camera, can I have the photos so I can blackmail my uncle?" Alex pleaded Angela as she jumped up and down on one of the barstool.
"Wait. Booth's your uncle?" Hodgins asked in disbelief.
"Well, duh. Can't you see that I look like him and he looks like me? And I'm psycotic because I have coffee!" Alex squealed.
"What's in your coffee?" Cam asked.
"Do I have to explain again?" Alex whined.
"Alex, here, mixes coffee with vodka and she gets coffee vodka," Jamie explained.
"EXACTLY!" Alex exclaimed.
Angela gives Alex photos of Booth and Brennan kissing and Alex discretely shoves the photos into her back pocket before anyone notices anything. Zack, meanwhile, is trying to stop himself from blushing at Alex who is STILL jumping around singing...
"Booth and Brennan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."
"Dude, what are you doing?" Jamie asked.
"Well, you know I'm psycotic and I'm making them blush because LOOK AT THEIR FACES!" Alex exclaimed as she points towards the now-stopped kissing couple who are now blushing a deep shade of red that almost reminded them of a tomato. Brennan also had some cream on her face.
"Can I borrow that camera?" Jamie immediately asked Angela.
She didn't even give Angela the opportunity to respond. She yanked the camera out of her grasp and started taking photos.
"Um, sweetie, you have some pie on your face," Angela told Brennan whilst indicating to her upper lip.
"Same with you, princess. But it's all over you face," Alex added while poking Booth in the face.
"Princess?" Hodgins repeated whilst trying not to laugh.
"I call him that for reasons you will never find out," Alex responded.
"Want me to get some moist towellets?" Jamie asked her favourite non-couple.
"Please," Booth and Brennan responded greatfully.
Whilst laughing to herself, Jamie walked off to get the moist towellets. 5 minutes later, she came back with the towellets and NOT wearing her uniform.
"Where's your uniform?" Zack asked Jamie.
"My shift's over," Jamie responded as she handed the towellets to Booth and Brennan who took them greatfully.
Once Booth and Brennan's faces were clean, Brennan looked at the time for the first time since she stepped into the diner that day.
"Oh! We have to go do the paperwork!" Brennan exclaimed.
"Oh no," Booth groaned before suddenly pirking up and turning to his niece, "Wait. If I have to suffer, so do you!"
Booth leaned across the table and quickly kissed Brennan muttering, 'I'll see you later,' as he dragged his uncomplying 19-year-old niece out of the diner.
"NO! THIS IS INHUMANE! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!" Alex yelled whilst kicking and screaming as she got dragged out of the table by Booth.
"Wow," Hodgins finally let out.
"Whoa," Angela and Cam added.
"They really are alike," Zack pointed out.
"Except one's psycotic and the other one isn't," Jamie added.
"Hey, Jamester. Wanna hang out with us at the lab since your shift is over and Alex is too busy getting tortured by Booth?" Hodgins asked.
"Wouldn't Booth be torturing himself since he hates paperwork?" Brennan asked with a blank expression.
"Yeah, but he's also torturing Alex by forcing her to help him. And, sure. Why not? I might see Sweets again," Jamie responded dreamly.
"You do realise if Booth finds out that you're crazy in love (Bite-Me: Crazy in love. I love that song...not really, but I like it anyway. IceGirl2772: I have that on my iPod Touch. Wanna listen? Bite-Me: Sure. Why not? Both: ONWARD!) with Sweets, Booth's gonna whip out his gun and shoot the poor kid, right?" Cam asked.
"Well, I can always ask Alex to steal his gun and burn it to ashes," Jamie pointed out.
"Alex can burn a gun?" Brennan asked in disbelief.
"Alex can burn anything," Jamie responded.
"By the way, sweetie. You and I have to talk about those kisses you just shared with the FB-Eye candy," Angela told her.
"FB-Eye candy?" Jamie repeated confused.
"I'll explain later, honey," Angela assured Jamie.
And with that, the squints, with Jamie in toe, left the diner.
Bite-Me: Finally! We wrote something! Congradulations!
IceGirl2772: BTW, we're listening to Someone's Watching Over Me at the moment so we're a bit thingy over here.
Bite-Me: *munching on chips and taking gibberish*
IceGirl2772: *singing to song*
Bite-Me and IceGirl2772: ONWARD AND PLEASE REVIEW!