"Painful Goodbye, Sweet Hello"
Dear my Satine,
I finished our story last night. Yes, it did take me a while, but I wanted to get everything exactly right. I wanted every second of it to be perfect, just like the time I spent with you. From the first time I looked up into the pale blue light at the Moulin Rouge and I saw you, graceful, beautiful, perfect, to your final breath that you put into our last kiss. I can still hear your voice sing to me. I can still see the peaceful expression on your face when you slept next to me on those stolen nights.
I am waiting for it to come.
Even though you left me broken and alone, I do not regret anything. Our love was worth everything. Even though our time together was short, what we had during that time was irreplaceable. It was real. It is real. My whole life I have dreamed of love, and you know that. I always thought love would be easy and natural, and it was, but that is only the feeling we had for each other. Everything else was so difficult. The show, the people, the hiding, the secrets, the jealously, and him. It was so imperfect. But the love we had made it all so imperfectly perfect.
I can hear it coming.
You are my life, my heart, my everything. I would give anything to just spend one more night in with you in my arms, loving every breath of you. When I was with you it seemed like I said it too much, but now I realize that I couldn't have possibly said it enough; I love you, Satine. I love you until the end of time. You told me to go on, and as much as I would love to do as you wish, I can't. Not without you. You told me I have so much to give, but I can't give anything anymore because the only person I want to give anything to is you. You told me you would always be with me, but I also need to be with you. And now those ever so familiar tears are consuming me once again, but I am not sad this time. I know I will see you soon.
I can feel the tracks shaking.
And I can see it coming now.
I love you, Satine. I will hold you soon.
Love,
Christia-