Scott Summers: Business Guy
The disclaimer saying I don't own X-Men Evolution is experiencing some bankruptcy problems. Trying to find a way to get some money. Also, this is a parody of the episode Business Guy from, well Family Guy, duh. So, Scott- Peter G. Jean- Lois G. Kurt- Quagmire/Brian Logan- Mort/Joe Warren- Chris Wanda- Meg G John Grey- Carter Pewterschmidt Jane Grey- Babs Pewterschmidt Valerie Cooper- Marleen House- himself Pyro- Stewie Magneto- Jeremy Irons (fake)
"Gosh, John, this yacht of yours is so amazing! Ah, I love the sound of nature!" Scott exclaimed as he and Jean were out on her parents' yacht. Jean herself, however, wasn't quite impressed…
"Dear, are you feeling ok?" Jane asked as her daughter felt green. "I just feel a little seasick, mommy. No prob…" Jean mumbled before suddenly retching.
"oh my God! There's vomit on my head!" Pyro screamed as Jane and Jean recoiled. "Ahahahaha! Now Kurt's eating it!" Pyro cackled. Jean then yawned and laid down on the lawn chair beside her husband and started to snore.
"Gosh, this is like a bachelor party!" Scott exclaimed. "What the hell's that?" John asked haughtily. "Oh you know, a thing guys do before they get married." Scott explained. "How's it work?" John asked. "I just told you, I mean… wait, you never had a bachelor party before?" Scott gasped, surprised.
"you'll have to understand, dear. Back then, John here usually flew his biplane and went hunting for game rather than the things you and Jean usually do, isn't that right pumpkin?" Jane asked sweetly, only to giggle as Jean was sound asleep with her plush teddy in her arms.
Later that same evening…
"All right John, this here's a dance club. What happens here is that hot chicks lap dance on you." Scott explained, as he, John, Kurt, Logan and Peter were at a ritzy nightclub, crowded by beautiful buxom women.
"Uh… I don't get it. Do I touch 'em?" John asked stupidly. "No no no, you let em do their thing. That's the beauty of it. Trust me, you got this." Scott grinned, nudging John's shoulder. Rolling his eyes, the disgruntled older man sat on a velvet booth, where as if on cue, a beautifully nubile blonde started humping him.
"oh ho… oh yeah, yeah do it… do it, you little minx!" John teased, giggling raucously before choking and collapsing on the floor. "Oh my god, are you alright?" Scott asked in fear.
"No, you idiot! I'm having a heart attack-kk-k-k-k-k you wanna know by now!" John babbled to the tune of Billy Joel's Movin' Out before collapsing.
At the Hospital…
"Oh my god, Daddy! What's the cause?" Jean gasped as Gregory House stood over the IV monitor by John's comatose body
"Your father's in a coma, Mrs. Summers." House explained in an apathetic, bored tone. Suddenly, Emerson burst in
"Mr. House, if you're going to save this patient, you'll need this!" Emerson blubbered, handing House a rule book. Suddenly, in a rage House hurled the manual out the window.
"wait what the heck? How can you save a patient without the… oh." Scott replied, forgetting House, being a rather 'new style' physician often used his own methods.
"My methods… are a little unorthodox." House slowly stated before delivering a right-hook punch to John's left cheek.
"What was that?" Scott asked. "It's called a punch. This man is not in a coma. He thinks he is. Unless of course, the first punch knocked him out. We wont know in a short time." House explained before facing the camera "House."
"Road House" Scott exclaimed, with a stoic, determined expression
"That too." House replied flatly
Later, at the Summers' House in Quahog, er, New York…
"Mrs. Summers?" a young man asked, as Jean opened the door. "Oh, you must be…" Jean started
"I am your father's lawyer. Due to his case, he has recorded video wills. I think he would want you to see them." The lawyer stated, placing in a tape which revealed John Grey himself in an armchair in his bathrobe, with his trademark cigar.
"Hello, I'm John Grey. If youre watching this, they did cut the rope in between the climax." John explained, describing a possible adventure thriller. Rolling his eyes, the lawyer fast-forwarded. "… did not get the DeLorean up to 88 miles per hour, so im stuck in 1885…" John continued, referencing Back to the Future part III. "this could take a while…" the man added, searching for the right recording, whilst Jean had eventually fallen asleep, sucking her thumb in her sleep.
"died by chocolate… no no, leave that one." John joked, teasing. After fast forwarding one time, it got to the right recording "… I am in a coma due from a heart attack." John stated before adding "Therefore, I leave charge of my pharmaceutical company Grey Industries to my youngest daughter Jean."
"unh… is naptime over so soon?" Jean asked childishly before snapping out of her daze "What?! But, but I cant run a company that huge!"
"Mrs. Summers, we have a large board of directors who will be willing to help you." The lawyer explained before Scott made a rather drastic suggestion
"forget it. I will run the company!" Scott vowed. "What? Scott, have you gone nuts? That's Daddy's company! You don't know the first thing about the rules of running a big business" Jean pleaded
"I don't play by the rules, aint that right, House?" Scott bragged, as Jean was surprised to see House standing beside her.
"well, most people say im crazy." House replied, making a weird pose, gibbering incoherent nonsense. "Scared you, didn't I?" House boasted
"House." Scott exclaimed before whispering "And I'm running the company."
The next morning at Grey Industries…
"… and the lead on our pharmaceutical profits are at an all time high. The quarterly profits are increasing." Gyrich addressed as the Board of Directors were silently agreeing with the annual review, when as if on cue, Scott burst in, wearing his trademark double-breasted black Armani suit.
"Good afternoon gentlemen. My name is Scott Summers, and I will be running this company in place of John Grey's absence from hereforth." Scott announced, seating himself on the armchair, lighting his cigar "Now, we need some new ideas. We need to make this company better than ever before!" Scott exclaimed, eager for some new motivation. A few board members grumbled in incoherent language.
"hmmm, what am I hearing?" Scott asked himself, glancing through the window before muttering "How am I gonna break this to 'em?" "What I am hearing… is yesterday talk! We need to push this company into the 21st century! What can we do to make this quarter more quarterly?" Scott asked hesitantly
"But Mr. Grey always knew what to do…" an older gentleman commented. "Forget Mr. Grey, I'm running the show! We need a complete overhaul! We need to take risks! Gentlemen, you're all FIRED!" Scott roared, the board men gasping, one fainting.
"Good, now that I have your attention… you're fired." Scott repeated, showing a bit of pride in his take charge personality.
Later that same day at the house..
"Scott! I just found out you fired all of Daddy's board of directors! What the hell were you thinking? Daddy's been working with those men for years!" Jean exclaimed as Scott puffed his cigar in a manic state, a wild look in his eye
"keep it up Jean, and I might fire you." Scott warned, Jean gasping "You wouldn't." Jean hissed. "Does the name Venus Tzao mean anything to you?" Scott asked. Jean then nodded "Ok, Scott. I'll behave." Jean replied, complying. "Yes you will." Scott added
the next day, at Summers Industries…
"Gentlemen, you are my creative team; Kurt, Remy, Bobby you are my chief staff." Scott addressed his three comrades as they were gathered at the main office
"Scott, you know more about this than we do!" Kurt replied. "Yeah, by the way where the hell's Logan?" Scott asked, looking out the window to find the grouchy clawed mutant standing outside in a wheelchair.
"hey Logan, what are you doing?" Scott asked. "THERE'S NO RAMP! I CANT GET INSIDE!" Logan hollered. "well, who needs him anyway." Scott flatly groaned.
That was part 1, hope you liked it! Part 2 of this is in development!