A/N: Some silliness inspired by an idea from the wonderful Private Fire.
Not My Mai!
Katashi felt ill at ease anywhere but the Rock. He spent so much time there, so much time as warden, that any other place or role fit uncomfortably, like a uniform three sizes too small. He mumbled a curse word and continued down the dimly lit corridors of the palace.
The vast building and all its wings was still a mystery he had yet to solve. Hallways branched off here and there, hidden staircases and hidden doorways led to secret rooms and cozy closets. Irritation building, Mai's uncle took a random left and clumped his way up a narrow set of stairs.
"Stupid palace," he declared to the stale air that smelled faintly of spices.
Really, though, he was angry with himself for not paying attention the last time Mai had accompanied him to the residential wing, patiently pointing out which turns to make where. He could have asked a servant or a guard but was too proud for that. So he stumbled along in the near dark now, finally summoning a small orange flame and staring about.
"I should turn around now before I get even more lost." The prison warden harrumphed and turned on his heel.
But a sound caught his attention, and then more and he had to investigate. Katashi turned about once again and crept along the passageway, strong shoulders stooped to avoid banging his head on the low ceiling.
"Sounds like grunting," he mused aloud and imagined two lusty servants giving into their desires all while neglecting their duties.
But as he approached a wooden door, its once rich, vibrant red paint faded and dull, he was almost certain that Zuko's voice emanated from behind it.
"No." He shook his head almost violently. "What would Zuko be doing in there?" But it was unmistakable; the gravelly tones could be no one else's.
That bastard! I'll rip him apart. I don't care if he's the Fire Lord. He's cheating on Mai.
Because the female voice, cooing and purring and urging Zuko on, saying dirty things that made Katashi flush, well that could not be his Mai. His brain, a logical thing in most instances, deduced that Zuko was a miserable, rotten adulterer. And Mai's heart would disintegrate, become nothing but dust, lifeless, when she found out. He hated to bring her such news. But he hated the idea of her ignorance even more.
Rage roiled inside. He grabbed the door handle and yanked with all his strength. The door might be old, but the wood was solid and the framework was well made. He yanked again, his face turning the colour of an eggplant from the exertion and the tide of emotions.
"Come out here and face me, Fire Lord. You're found out now and I have every intention of telling Mai all about your betrayal with that, that whore you have with you."
Silence was the only reply at first; then rustling, as of clothing or blankets or pillows, then slow, cautious movement toward the door. Katashi thought he heard laughter too, a throaty, sensual sound.
Harlot! Mai would never behave so wantonly. She's a lady, refined and…
The door opened and Zuko emerged. His hair was a mess and his pants hung low on his hips. He had hastily shoved arms into sleeves, but the robe he wore hung open. There were bite marks on his neck and chest and he smelled like perfume and sex. With sheepish eyes, he glanced at Katashi.
"You caught me."
"That's all you're going to say? You tear out my niece's soul and you stand there and say three words? What's the matter with you?" The warden grabbed hold of Zuko's robe and hoisted the smaller man up before slamming him back against the door.
Zuko shifted a bit and looked away, infuriating the man more.
"I heard you in there with that tramp. What kind of woman makes noises like that? Where did you find her? Do you traipse through the streets at night looking for women? Do you sneak out of the bed you share with my Mai?" His grip tightened and Zuko's breath came in ragged gasps.
"I, I…"
The door began to rattle. Katashi dropped the Fire Lord. Stumbling, Zuko reached for the door handle and held on tight. A battle ensued between the young man and whoever remained in the room.
"What's the matter? Don't want me to see her? Let her out, Fire Lord. Or does she live in there? Is she your sex slave?" Katashi blushed and then roared, punching at the wall.
The door continued to shake. Zuko pressed his body into the nicely rounded slab of wood, using all of his strength to keep it shut.
"No, I don't want you to see her. I'm, uh, I'm ashamed." The Fire Lord stumbled over his words and stared down at the floor. His feet were bare.
"You should be more than ashamed, fornicating with some floozy." Katashi raised his fist, pulled back his arm and made to strike hard into flesh and bone.
Instinct took charge of Zuko and he ducked, letting go of the door handle. Katashi's hand impacted the wall. But he felt nothing. While both men were distracted, the door eased open and Mai, her hair loose, a simple tunic and pair of pants covering her frame, slipped out into the corridor. With a sly smirk, she took her lover's hand and stared her uncle right in the eye. His mouth hung open and he sputtered words like some malfunctioning machine, nothing of any sense coming out.
"I'm the floozy, Uncle." Mai's declaration was made with something akin to pride. "I suppose that your image of me has been destroyed." She shrugged. "Oh, well." Leading Zuko away, she tossed some words over her shoulder. "You really should have asked for directions."