A/N: Ok I got this idea from watching that movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sigourney Weaver where they were the mother/daughter con artist duo and thought really long about how to Naruto this up, and well here is the end result. Enjoy (I hope)!

Warning for this chpt: adult themes, KyuIta, KyuSasu, cursing, mild violence involving a ring

Conning Sweetheart

Chapter 1: WTF? I WANT A DIVORCE!

Lips locked and tongues explored each other's mouths heatedly as the recently married couple stumbled into the room. Soon the long-haired brunette fell back on the bed of their honeymoon suite, with his husband eagerly following while stripping off both their shirts in the process.

The red headed male attacked the chest presented to him, all the while allowing his hands to roam over the pale-skin beauty beneath him. Just as he was about to reach for the belt, he moved up and began to lick and nibble at the spot where the shoulder and neck connected, leaving a small bruise mark. Raising his head slightly to admire his work, he resumed the task of removing his new hubby's pants. Whipping off the belt he made his way to strap the brunette's wrist to the bedpost, only to meet a loud snore in his face.

Snapped out of his lust filled daze, the red head looked down at his lover only too see him sound asleep. Figuring that he was faking it and that no man could hide their arousal after his previous ministrations so quickly, he began to grope his lover's crotch to find that the brunette really was asleep, his arousal long gone (no pun intended). Growling in frustration, he climbed off his 'bride', straightened his rumpled pants and pulled on a red and orange stripped Old Navy polo shirt that offset his red hair and crimson eyes. Sighing audibly at his lost of what would have been rounds of amazing sex; he placed a kiss on the brunettes head and left the suite to drink his misfortunes away.

Hearing the door close, Itachi remained motionless a few minutes longer before in case his new job forgot something. After ten minutes of just laying there, he got up and began searching through his jacket pocket for his cell phone. He had to make sure plans were going smoothly and this one call will confirm this.

After about two rings, the other line picked up and another voice answered in smooth baritone voice somewhat similar to his own, only a pitch higher.

"Hello"

"Sas…I mean Ryuuchi, this is Shiushi. Is Kyuubi are the bar yet?"

"Yes Shiu, he's about 4 seats away from me now. With the way he's drinking already, I'll give him another 15 minutes before the plan is in motion."

"Alright, then. Don't screw this up. Now make sure to tell say your room number clear enough for the bartender to hear, and also…."

"I know what I'm doing damn it! It's not like this is my first time you know"

"Fine whatever, I come see you in an hour's time. And remember, 'Don't be silly, Protect your willy (1)' see you later." Itachi smirked at the growl of embarrassment on the other end before the call was cut.

Settling back into the comfortable bedding, He took the remote and began flicking through channels to find something interesting to watch. When he found nothing, he snatched the hotel menu from the side table and called the front desk for room service. Ordering only the most expensive items and demanding that they reach hear within fifteen minutes he hung up and began flicking channels again just to bypass time until his food came.

Meanwhile, at the hotel bar, an ebony-haired young man sat, sipping absent mindly at the mix of lemon and lime juice with some aromatic bitters (2), studying the crimson eyed man sitting away from him, who was now on his third glass of 'Liquid Cocaine'(3)'

'Hmm…he seems to have a high tolerance if he could down 2 glasses of that stuff without feeling heady'Sasuke aka Ryuuchi pondered with a slight frown.

However after that thought he saw his target began to sway slightly after tossing back half of the third glass.

'Then again 2 more glasses of the stuff should be enough to make him lose his bearings completely,'smirk quickly replaced the frown at this

Exactly fifteen minutes later a somewhat smashed Kyuubi was found resting on the bar counter. He wasn't completely passed out as he kept raising his head quickly, only for it to meet the cool counter surface again, with a groan at the headache he got. Releasing a sigh of defeat, the bartender, a man with strange blue spiked hair, gave up on trying convincing him to just leave for his room, and turned to the other occupant at the bar for help.

"Excuse me sir?"

At this, Sasuke turned to the bartender with a questioning gaze, "Yes?"

"Umm…if it's not too much trouble, sir, but can you please help this man back to his room?"

Turning to the semi-conscious red head, he gave a slight nod, finished off his drink and moved to help him.

"Thank you, sir. I believe he is the one of the newlyweds from the honeymoon suite," the bartender said as he helped the drunken man to stand

Giving another nod, he slung an arm around the man's shoulder and helped him walk (stumble) out the bar.

"I was expecting to see meet someone here, my cousin to be more specific. When you see him just send him up to room 302 please. He looks like an older version of me with lines under both his eyes," Sasuke informed the bartender, who replied with a 'no problem.'

Upon reaching the elevators, Kyuubi turned his head to regard the stranger helping him, but too much alcohol caused his vision to be blurred and thought he saw Shiushi helping him.

"'Shi baby," he slurred and proceeded to drape his body more around 'Shiushi's.' Burying his face into the crook of his neck, he began to nuzzle him affectionately, and then proceeded to lick and nibble at his pulse point there. "Ready to continued what we started earlier?" he whispered huskily.

Sasuke took all this in stride and patiently waited until the elevator arrived with a ding. Dragging the still nuzzling Kyuubi into the elevator, he pressed the floor where his room was located as well as the one for the honeymoon suite (4). As soon as the door closed, he face was turned and his lips were attacked. The strong smell of alcohol filled his nostrils as the red-head continued his assault.

Kyuubi then started to grind his hips roughly against ' Shiushi's' and slipped his tongue into the mouth that opened with surprise. Pushing him against the wall, he began unbuttoning the shirt and pulled it back roughly as he began attacking the skin presented to him. All Sasuke could do was moan at the onslaught of pleasure he was getting.

Exactly twenty-five minutes after the stranger left to help with the drunken newlywed. The real 'Shiushi' strolled into bar and took a seat at the bar where he ordered a Cranberry Vodka on the rocks from a bartender with slicked back grey hair. Taking a look around the bar for a familiar face, he didn't even notice when his drink was placed in front of him.

Sighing lightly, he turned to see his drink already there. Muttering thanks to the bartender he sat there, idly stirring the beverage, taking occasional sips and glancing at his wristwatch and around the bar. Ten minutes later, grunting with annoyance, he called over the bartender and asked him if he saw a pale skin young man that had black hair that spiked in the back and bangs covering his face.

"Hmm, no can't say that I have, sir. Let me ask the other bartender if he did. Hey Kisame!"

"What Hidan? I'm busy with another customer right now!" a gruff voiced responded.

"Well hurry up I got something to ask yuh!" Hidan replied.

Not five minutes after a tall man with strange blue spiked hair and gill like tattoos on his faced approached the pair. He was about to ask Hidan what he wanted when he spotted the other customer.

"Oh hey are you looking for your cousin?" A nod was given in the affirmative. "Tall pale guy with spiked black hair and bangs?" another nod was given "Well he told me to tell you to meet him in room 302. He had to leave because he was helping this drunken guy back to his room."

"Thank you for the help; do you know where I can find Rm. 302 per chance?"

"Sorry you'll have to ask front desk for that"

Placing money for his drink on the counter, he swiftly got up and walked towards the front desk for the information needed.

"Good evening sir and welcome to the Red Clouds. My name is Konan, how may I be of assistance?"

"Yes good evening. I was told by your bartender, Kisame I believe, that you can tell me where I can Rm. 302? I was supposed to meet my cousin there."

"Not a problem sir. Just take the elevator to the 4th floor, walk down the corridor and turn left at first set of corridors you meet. The room should be either the third or fourth door on your right."

"Thank you for your help" and with that Itachi headed for the elevators. Following the directions to a T he quickly found the room and found the door open with the latch blocking it from closing properly. Hearing a bed slamming against a wall as well as some grunts and moans, Itachi soon schooled his features as he entered the room.

Upon entering he saw his 'cousin' being pounded into mattress by his husband. Taking a deep breath, he hardened his eyes and shouted,

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!"

Hearing his brother's voice, Sasuke quickly stilled his movement with smirk on his face and pushed the red head off of him. Kyuubi dazed by the sudden movement, shook his head a couple of times to get rid of his drunken feeling and turned to the doorway. Blinking rapidly to clear his vision, his eyes soon widened when he saw his husband standing there looking livid. He drunkenness soon forgotten, he turned the man he was having sex with and saw a look of confusion upon his face.

"KYUUBI NAMIKAZE I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE ON THE NIGHT OF OUR HONEYMOON!" Itachi bellowed. His shouting seems to have attracted a few guest out of their rooms and some were crowding around the door way outside. Some heard what was shouted and began throwing disgusted looks at the red head as he pathetically tried to cover himself.

"And not only that!" he lowered his voice a bit but kept the livid look on his face, "you fucking my younger cousin! What did you just marry me to get to him huh?"

Widening his eyes at the accusation, he quickly glanced at the other raven, who was desperately trying to hide his shame with is hair. In reality Sasuke was hiding his smirk of triumph at the plan's success.

"But…but, I thought he was you!" was his stuttered response. At this the younger raven shot his head up and glared at the cowering red-head.

"That's not what you said when you began molesting me in the elevator, you bastard. If I knew you were married, even to Shiushi, I wouldn't have given in to you!" he sneered maliciously. Turning to his 'cousin' his face saddened.

"I am so sorry Shiushi," here he hung his head again, voice quivering a bit for added effect, "I…I didn't know he w...was your hus...husband. I hope y…you can forgive me." Here he allowed a few tears to drop and added sniffles to it make more believable.

Turning to his cousin, Itachi softened his gaze. "You are not to blame for this Ryuuchi; you didn't know this bastard was my husband. I can't forgive you yet, but I am not mad at you. You on the other hand," here he turned to back to Kyuubi, glare, almost glacial, returned, "you on the hand can just rot in hell you cheating son of a bitch. You better have a good lawyer."

Kyuubi blanched at this, "Wh...Why?"

"Because you disgusting fucker, I want a fucking divorce!" at this he tore off his ring flung it at Kyuubi's head, smirking when the gem made a good size cut as it collided.

And there you have the first chapter of 'Conning Sweethearts'

Love it? Hate it? R & R and tell me

(1) I read this line in another fan fiction where Itachi told this to Sasuke to piss him off and felt that Itachi lives to annoy his younger brother so I just had to add it.

(2) This is a real drink that is becoming (if not already) quite popular where I'm from. It tastes really great but I think you can only get aromatic bitters where I'm from though.

(3) Another real drink that is made up of Jägermeister and Goldschläger that can make you get really drunk really fast if your tolerance isn't all that (my limit is 1 glass and then 2 shots of it, believe the headache u get will be painful)

(4) he does this cuz he know Itachi is waiting for the elevator so he could sneak out and sneak back into the hotel as to not arouse suspicion (it's part of their plan)

U.C.R now known as Aelfrick

p.s If anything is confusing just message me and I'll try to explain the best way I can