The moon blazed clearly in contrast to the velvety blackness of the sky.
Sienna inhaled deeply and gazed up at it. The cool, fresh air stung in the
back of her throat, but she gulped down more, enjoying the feel of it. A
slight wind brushed against her arms and a new exhilaration filled her.
This was where she belonged, these were her elements. The only things that mattered. Another soft breath of wind caressed her cheek, and she felt harmony. Real, true peace, and the purist of the sort. A comfort as if she was being embraced by the Mother, and she knew that she was. This is what she lived for.
A light sprinkle began to play upon her eyelashes, and fell softly to the ground every time she blinked. A downpour began and she was utterly thrilled. The wind came whipping by and she began to laugh. She did a few experimental twirls and then proceeded to carry out turns and leaps through the rain. All the while guided by the moon. The rain fell onto her face, the wind whipped her hair about, and the moon and stars provided her light.
Ah, to share in these moments of joy, almost the only that she had. She turned her face up to the moon and smiled, thanking the Goddess for this gift of delight. Then, just as suddenly as the joy came, it left, replaced by concern of anyone having seen her. She turned her head about, for a moment forgetting the elements, and surveyed the windows. Not quite satisfied, she went back inside. As she stepped back through the door she gazed longingly at the moon, its embrace and thrill gone. A sigh parted her lips and she went to her room. Once there, she proceeded to close the door and open the window, trying once again to breathe the free air of the night. Only old dust and the like from the screen came to her throat. However, she could still see the moon. Thank you, Dear Goddess, for all of your wonderful gifts. Thank you for everything, her silent prayer came. With that, she turned about to begin on the preparation for the next day. The drudgery that she must go through to reach the blissful night again. School, people, the sun. She could hardly stand them, and yet she had to. Controlled by what her elders had decreed, she laid out her clothes for school the next morning. A deep pit in her stomach still longed for the experience, long gone. How rare these moments were in modern life. Most people didn't even know that they existed. If only she could find some one who understood! Goddess, how long will I have to endure this? Settling her mundane business, she lay in bed. Wakeful, she lay with sorrow spilling over her and out. She played some music, but instead of catharsis, she fell even more into her sorrow. Tomorrow was a new day.. A whole entire day to come again. They never seemed to end. How could she escape it all? If only for a little while, to be free! Yet, even as she thought it, she knew that she would never truly be free from this world of commitment and stupidity. Oh, if just one person was there for her, just one that understood.
* * *
"Solution A has 80% acid, solution B has 50% acid, and solution C has 40% acid and is 20L. How would I solve this problem?" Algebra drowned on, but she was not really there. Her mind kept straying to the night before. With that, she began to remember all of the failures of her life. Then, the failures of others. Stile, Elian, Lyra, Morgaine, Hallia, and so many others. Why had they left off so abruptly? Why could they not return to her?
"Sienna? Sienna? I asked you a question." Her gaze fell upon the board and the state of the problem that lay there. Mr. Mathews was waiting for a reply. The next step was to factor so.
"The quantity x minus three times the quantity two x plus five." She said in a doubting voice.
"Right." Mr. Mathews said and looked at her just as doubtfully. He knew that she had not been paying attention. To earn back the embarrassment, she decided to pay attention the rest of class. She succeeded, but only barely. Second period came. Maybe she could talk to the one closest to understanding, Glory. She doubted that she would understand this, though, being a true Christian. So, she decided not to broach the subject.
"Last night, I had to go to Iwanna's and we played the best game!" Glory proceeded to summarize her night, while Sienna sat and half-listened. She tried to listen, she truly did, but she really didn't want to here about her friend's night at church. I wish I belonged to a church, of my beliefs, of course. I could be around others like me and- Her thought was cut off by Glory's next comment.
"So, did you have any dreams last night?" she inquired. It was one of the things they did, share dreams.
"None that took place while I was asleep." She answered.
"What do you mean?" Glory tried to understand. She was very intelligent and they often had debates, regarding many different things, but mostly religion. Glory was a Christian, Sienna was. well, she really didn't have a name for it. It wasn't Wicca, and it wasn't quite Neo- paganism either. It was really what she felt and had learned from the Goddess.
"I mean that. well, what if life was all a dream, and then one day you wake up. We call this death, but its really just beginning. What if your whole life is a waking dream? You know how realistic dreams can be in this frame, what if this is all a dream. Everything that we do doesn't really matter, what matters is what comes after. Until, you dream again. Reincarnation. Or maybe, when we sleep we are actually in some one else's awareness and their memories are our dreams, or at least parts. We are all many faceted, why shouldn't one of them be an almost new identity?"
"Sienna, that's ridiculous. You know that we only get one chance to live and then we are judged, Heaven or Hell. God wouldn't let anything like that happen."
"There it is again. Christianity. Oh well. At least we started a debate." She smiled hopefully and Glory smiled back and began to laugh. That was one more thing about Glory, she was almost never mad, and she laughed or smiled everything off. It tended to be contagious. The day proceeded and was dull without Glory to talk to. Her other friends were good company, though they were only in a few of her classes. Sixth period came about and brought choir with it. Sienna really enjoyed this class. The teacher was really. well, nice. Besides, the music was very entertaining.
After school, she started up her computer in the hopes of playing some music to entertain her while she was doing homework. When she finished, a smile cracked her face. Now, time for the real life. She got out her book and began to read. She was studying up on another rite. She'd never actually performed any, but she did know the basics. In mid sentence, the phone rang. Rising heavily to her feet, she went to pick it up.
"Hello?"
"Hi."
"Who is this?" she asked incredulously.
" Uh. Cum saxum saxorum." the voice faded out.
A bit alarmed, but not overly so, she went to look up the words in all of her resource books. She recognized them as archaic Latin, and she knew they were associated with stone. They sounded somehow familiar, in an eerie sort of way. Cum saxum saxorum. She knew it from somewhere and then.. Dragons! That was it. It was the incantation to invoke a Dragon's Eye and summon the Dragon. Why would anyone say that to her? Unless. she had memorized that incantation at school, so if they knew her, they could have been watching. This sent more than a chill up her spine. That verse was actually unique for her, since it had been the first verse she had memorized. What could that have to do with anything else?
* * *
Not a single tear was shed in her misery. She breathed in the deep, cool air, searching for comfort, and finding none. Instead, she only drew in more of the dark coldness into her heart. It was laced with ice as it was, hardened against the pain. She could do nothing about it. Sit, and wait for it to pass. It was the only thing that she had learned to do. She knew that there was a reason that the Goddess sent her this pain. There must be some reason. She thought of everyone that had borne this terrible weight before her. She must not give in. It would pass, and she would awake to a new day. Day, hardly a comforting thought. She drew more of the sorrow in through her nose and mouth. She was forever haunted by these nighttime visits of the Death Crone. Death no longer scared her, now that she had the Goddess. She understood that it was not really an end, but the beginning of a new life. After all, nothing but love and devotion was eternal. She drew herself into her own being. She let the sorrow and loneliness consume her. It would do her no good to push it away, for it was never truly gone. She let it fester and form a pit inside her. It would do her no good. Might as well build up her ability to tolerate the pain. For it truly did hurt, her chest felt as if an icy hand was squeezing the very memory of joy from her. She fell heavily onto a chair, hardening her mind against the attacks going on in her body. It would remain intact, and yet it was already flowing to meet the ice invading. She reached out to the Goddess, but found only an emptiness. This filled her with such dread that she could barely hang on. She felt her true inner being seeping away from her with each passing moment. She was stuck in the limbo, being tormented with all of this agonizing pain, but not being able to stop any of it. Her eyes gently began to droop, and the pain deepened, reaching into the depths of her heart. She let it, and awaited the dream world, her only escape.
* * *
This was where she belonged, these were her elements. The only things that mattered. Another soft breath of wind caressed her cheek, and she felt harmony. Real, true peace, and the purist of the sort. A comfort as if she was being embraced by the Mother, and she knew that she was. This is what she lived for.
A light sprinkle began to play upon her eyelashes, and fell softly to the ground every time she blinked. A downpour began and she was utterly thrilled. The wind came whipping by and she began to laugh. She did a few experimental twirls and then proceeded to carry out turns and leaps through the rain. All the while guided by the moon. The rain fell onto her face, the wind whipped her hair about, and the moon and stars provided her light.
Ah, to share in these moments of joy, almost the only that she had. She turned her face up to the moon and smiled, thanking the Goddess for this gift of delight. Then, just as suddenly as the joy came, it left, replaced by concern of anyone having seen her. She turned her head about, for a moment forgetting the elements, and surveyed the windows. Not quite satisfied, she went back inside. As she stepped back through the door she gazed longingly at the moon, its embrace and thrill gone. A sigh parted her lips and she went to her room. Once there, she proceeded to close the door and open the window, trying once again to breathe the free air of the night. Only old dust and the like from the screen came to her throat. However, she could still see the moon. Thank you, Dear Goddess, for all of your wonderful gifts. Thank you for everything, her silent prayer came. With that, she turned about to begin on the preparation for the next day. The drudgery that she must go through to reach the blissful night again. School, people, the sun. She could hardly stand them, and yet she had to. Controlled by what her elders had decreed, she laid out her clothes for school the next morning. A deep pit in her stomach still longed for the experience, long gone. How rare these moments were in modern life. Most people didn't even know that they existed. If only she could find some one who understood! Goddess, how long will I have to endure this? Settling her mundane business, she lay in bed. Wakeful, she lay with sorrow spilling over her and out. She played some music, but instead of catharsis, she fell even more into her sorrow. Tomorrow was a new day.. A whole entire day to come again. They never seemed to end. How could she escape it all? If only for a little while, to be free! Yet, even as she thought it, she knew that she would never truly be free from this world of commitment and stupidity. Oh, if just one person was there for her, just one that understood.
* * *
"Solution A has 80% acid, solution B has 50% acid, and solution C has 40% acid and is 20L. How would I solve this problem?" Algebra drowned on, but she was not really there. Her mind kept straying to the night before. With that, she began to remember all of the failures of her life. Then, the failures of others. Stile, Elian, Lyra, Morgaine, Hallia, and so many others. Why had they left off so abruptly? Why could they not return to her?
"Sienna? Sienna? I asked you a question." Her gaze fell upon the board and the state of the problem that lay there. Mr. Mathews was waiting for a reply. The next step was to factor so.
"The quantity x minus three times the quantity two x plus five." She said in a doubting voice.
"Right." Mr. Mathews said and looked at her just as doubtfully. He knew that she had not been paying attention. To earn back the embarrassment, she decided to pay attention the rest of class. She succeeded, but only barely. Second period came. Maybe she could talk to the one closest to understanding, Glory. She doubted that she would understand this, though, being a true Christian. So, she decided not to broach the subject.
"Last night, I had to go to Iwanna's and we played the best game!" Glory proceeded to summarize her night, while Sienna sat and half-listened. She tried to listen, she truly did, but she really didn't want to here about her friend's night at church. I wish I belonged to a church, of my beliefs, of course. I could be around others like me and- Her thought was cut off by Glory's next comment.
"So, did you have any dreams last night?" she inquired. It was one of the things they did, share dreams.
"None that took place while I was asleep." She answered.
"What do you mean?" Glory tried to understand. She was very intelligent and they often had debates, regarding many different things, but mostly religion. Glory was a Christian, Sienna was. well, she really didn't have a name for it. It wasn't Wicca, and it wasn't quite Neo- paganism either. It was really what she felt and had learned from the Goddess.
"I mean that. well, what if life was all a dream, and then one day you wake up. We call this death, but its really just beginning. What if your whole life is a waking dream? You know how realistic dreams can be in this frame, what if this is all a dream. Everything that we do doesn't really matter, what matters is what comes after. Until, you dream again. Reincarnation. Or maybe, when we sleep we are actually in some one else's awareness and their memories are our dreams, or at least parts. We are all many faceted, why shouldn't one of them be an almost new identity?"
"Sienna, that's ridiculous. You know that we only get one chance to live and then we are judged, Heaven or Hell. God wouldn't let anything like that happen."
"There it is again. Christianity. Oh well. At least we started a debate." She smiled hopefully and Glory smiled back and began to laugh. That was one more thing about Glory, she was almost never mad, and she laughed or smiled everything off. It tended to be contagious. The day proceeded and was dull without Glory to talk to. Her other friends were good company, though they were only in a few of her classes. Sixth period came about and brought choir with it. Sienna really enjoyed this class. The teacher was really. well, nice. Besides, the music was very entertaining.
After school, she started up her computer in the hopes of playing some music to entertain her while she was doing homework. When she finished, a smile cracked her face. Now, time for the real life. She got out her book and began to read. She was studying up on another rite. She'd never actually performed any, but she did know the basics. In mid sentence, the phone rang. Rising heavily to her feet, she went to pick it up.
"Hello?"
"Hi."
"Who is this?" she asked incredulously.
" Uh. Cum saxum saxorum." the voice faded out.
A bit alarmed, but not overly so, she went to look up the words in all of her resource books. She recognized them as archaic Latin, and she knew they were associated with stone. They sounded somehow familiar, in an eerie sort of way. Cum saxum saxorum. She knew it from somewhere and then.. Dragons! That was it. It was the incantation to invoke a Dragon's Eye and summon the Dragon. Why would anyone say that to her? Unless. she had memorized that incantation at school, so if they knew her, they could have been watching. This sent more than a chill up her spine. That verse was actually unique for her, since it had been the first verse she had memorized. What could that have to do with anything else?
* * *
Not a single tear was shed in her misery. She breathed in the deep, cool air, searching for comfort, and finding none. Instead, she only drew in more of the dark coldness into her heart. It was laced with ice as it was, hardened against the pain. She could do nothing about it. Sit, and wait for it to pass. It was the only thing that she had learned to do. She knew that there was a reason that the Goddess sent her this pain. There must be some reason. She thought of everyone that had borne this terrible weight before her. She must not give in. It would pass, and she would awake to a new day. Day, hardly a comforting thought. She drew more of the sorrow in through her nose and mouth. She was forever haunted by these nighttime visits of the Death Crone. Death no longer scared her, now that she had the Goddess. She understood that it was not really an end, but the beginning of a new life. After all, nothing but love and devotion was eternal. She drew herself into her own being. She let the sorrow and loneliness consume her. It would do her no good to push it away, for it was never truly gone. She let it fester and form a pit inside her. It would do her no good. Might as well build up her ability to tolerate the pain. For it truly did hurt, her chest felt as if an icy hand was squeezing the very memory of joy from her. She fell heavily onto a chair, hardening her mind against the attacks going on in her body. It would remain intact, and yet it was already flowing to meet the ice invading. She reached out to the Goddess, but found only an emptiness. This filled her with such dread that she could barely hang on. She felt her true inner being seeping away from her with each passing moment. She was stuck in the limbo, being tormented with all of this agonizing pain, but not being able to stop any of it. Her eyes gently began to droop, and the pain deepened, reaching into the depths of her heart. She let it, and awaited the dream world, her only escape.
* * *