This is my first one-shot ever… I thought of it on a whim last night, up late after 3 cans of soda. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly… but I do own this can of Sprite I'm drinking.
Third Person
"Chicken noodle."
Sam Puckett sat at Carly Shay's counter, having just walked in, dumping her backpack carelessly on the floor. Carly glanced at the blonde from her position at the stove, hovering over a pot of boiling soup.
"Yep. Want some?" She asked.
"Shoosh yeah!" Sam exclaimed in reply. She gazed lovingly at her new dress lying next to her.
"God, it's so awesome," She muttered.
"I know, it's so simple yet dance-y. I can't believe Socko's Aunt Sew is so talented!" Carly gushed.
"Socko's aunt's parents have spelling issues. I mean, come on, common sense tells you that it's spelled S-U-E, not S-E-W."
"Sam, be nice and eat your soup," Carly said as she placed Sam's bowl down before her. Sam's mouth watered.
"No!" Sam protested when Carly moved to take the dress away. "I wanna look at it more."
"You're going to regret spilling soup all over it…"
"I won't! I'll be careful!"
"Hey guys," Freddie Benson said absent-mindedly as he walked inside. "Ooh, soup."
"Hey Freddie," Carly greeted.
"Frednub," Sam acknowledged with a full mouth.
He began to make his way over when all of a sudden he tripped on a backpack, sprawling out and spilling Sam's soup everywhere as he landed on the counter with an 'oof'. Chicken, noodles, and red liquid splashed all over Sam's new dress, ruining it.
"Uh… oops," Freddie muttered, standing up straight.
"Oops? Oops? I am going to MURDER you!" Sam roared. He instantly began to run away, a chase breaking out.
"Guys, stop!" Carly shouted. When the two didn't even send a glance her way, she ran in between them and Sam crashed into her, falling to the floor.
"It's just a dress! You can buy another! And who leaves their backpack right in the middle of the floor!" Freddie exclaimed, panting.
"No, I can't, you imbecile. It was custom made. It took two freaking weeks for that dress to be made. My pageant is tomorrow," Sam sneered, climbing to her feet.
"Why are you even entering the beauty pageant again?" He asked incredulously.
"I already told you. That stupid LeAnn Carter made my old pageant best friend, Charlotte, come in last place. I'm going to show her that when I won, it wasn't just a lucky break. There's finally someone better than her, and it's Sam Puckett, baby!"
"Okay… so what exactly is wrong with buying a dress?"
She lunged, but Carly grabbed her ankles, and she fell with a loud 'thump' to the floor. Freddie held back a smile as she glared at Carly.
"It was so perfect!" Sam whined, punching the floorboards.
"Are you going all girly on me, Sam?" Freddie asked. She grabbed his legs and pulled them out from under him, making him fall to the floor as well.
Spencer emerged from his and made his way to the front door, only to trip over his little sister. The four of them lay in a heap on the ground, groaning in pain.
"Sam…," Carly started weakly, shrugging Spencer off her and getting to her feet. "Let's go get you a new dress."
She sighed and slowly stood, glaring down at Freddie. "I'll make you pay," She spat. With those last words, Sam stormed out after Carly, slamming the door behind her.
Spencer and Freddie exchanged looks. Spencer raised his eyebrows.
"Dude, what did you do?"
~~oOo~~
Freddie
I was awake, dressed, and ready to get my Saturday started. I opened my door and stepped out, only to slam straight into a slab of plastic stretched across my doorway. I stumbled backward, shouting in surprise.
I figured it must have been some stupid protective system my mom had set up. Sighing, I ripped it down and made my way downstairs for some breakfast.
Mom was desperately rifling through cabinets. I ignored her usual weird behavior and opened the fridge and freezer, only to find…
Nothing.
It was all empty. Okay, she was going a bit far this time. I turned to my mom, my lips pressed into a tight line and my eyebrow raised.
"Uh, mom? There's no food in here…"
"I know!" She exclaimed, whirling around to face me. "We've been robbed! There's no food anywhere in our house!"
"What the hel..." I glanced at my mother. "ck?"
"Helck? I'll never understand teenage slang. Anyway, the only thing missing is our food! That's all that was stolen!"
"Wh… why?" I asked, confused.
"I don't know, sweetie. I have to go grocery shopping! I'll be right back! Call if you need me! Love you!"
And she ran out the door like her life depended on it. I sighed.
Who would do this? No one steals food. I knew we had a safe filled with some pretty expensive antique jewelry. I knew my mom had a stash of money stored somewhere. I mean, unless it was a joke, or a prank, or-
Oh.
"Sam!" I shouted, realization flickering in my eyes. I groaned.
The downstairs bathroom had a bucket poised above the door, and it poured all over me. My Galaxy Wars merchandise was taken, all except for the comforter on my bed. My phone's battery was missing, along with my laptop's charger. When I saw the light bulbs absent from my room's ceiling, I broke.
I ran out my door and into Carly's apartment, where Sam seemed to have just gotten up, eating a bowl of cereal.
"Sam!" I shouted. She calmly turned to me.
"Hey."
"Okay, I surrender! Just give me my stuff back, stop pranking me, and I'll do what you want! You can have money, I'll buy you meat, anything!"
She placed her spoon in her bowl and swiveled her chair toward me, clasping her hands in her lap.
"Here's what's going to happen. You're going to give me money, buy me a ham sub, and serve me for the whole day," She said.
"Wha- But-"
"If you don't agree with my terms, fine. I guess I'll just keep making your life more miserable than it already is…," She said casually, examining her freshly painted black nails.
"…Okay."
"Good." She looked up at me with an evil smirk. "I'm going to go get ready. Clean up my bowl. Oh, and why don't you do the rest of Carly's dishes while you're at it?"
I threw my head back and groaned, proceeding to do what she told me to. Spencer appeared in the kitchen a couple of minutes after Sam went upstairs. He gave me a confused look as he saw me scrubbing the dishes.
"Uh…"
"Don't even ask," I muttered sourly.
~~oOo~~
Sam
I walked down the stairs, Carly trailing behind me, fully prepared for my pageant. All I had to do was change into my dress once we arrived.
Freddie turned towards us and looked me up and down.
"Where's your dress?"
"In Carly's hands, along with my others. We change at the pageant, dipthong. Now carry my stuff."
Sighing, Freddie took my dresses and shoes and followed us to Spencer's car, where Spencer was waiting.
*!*
I was going to be performing a song and a dance for the talent competition. I'd already completed all of the other rounds, and now I was in my dress, originally supposed to be the dress that Benson had to freaking ruin. Damn him.
"Now I have to wear this stupid cheap Bebe dress," I snarled to him.
"It wasn't cheap at all…," Carly muttered. Okay, so I was broke and she'd had to pay for it. That doesn't make me a bad person or anything.
I wasn't about to show my nervousness, but I did feel uneasy. My old dance instructor was performing the dance with me, but we weren't doing the train sketch again. Instead I was going to sing My Heart by Paramore.
Kim Hughes had just started her tuba playing, and I was next.
"You're nervous, aren't you?" Frednub's voice came from behind me. I whirled around.
"Where the hell did Carly go?"
"To get your-"
"I am not nervous!" I hissed, just registering his earlier words.
"Are too," He sang, smirking. I glared.
"20 push-ups."
"You said I was your server, not that I had to do what you told me," He pointed out. I rolled my eyes.
I shoved on my black heels and scowled once I noticed that the stupid dork was still taller than me.
"You know, you actually almost look like a girl."
I punched him, hard, in the arm. He frowned, rubbing it.
"That was somewhat a compliment," He grumbled.
"In what girl's mind?" I asked. Just then, Carly returned with Johnny, my instructor. Oh, so that's who she was going to get.
"You ready?" Johnny asked, about a split second before Kim's finale concluded. I gulped and nodded. I took a deep breath and locked arms with him.
"Good luck!" Carly exclaimed cheerfully. I flashed her a grin.
"Break a leg metaphorically, but not literally," Freddie said. I hope he was joking. That sentence was just too nerdy to bear. I couldn't help but smirk and roll my eyes at the comment.
I stepped out into the spotlights arm-in-arm with Johnny, and everyone clapped and cheered, as was standardized. I took one more deep breath before standing in front of the microphone. I adjusted it to fit my height, and waited for the music to start. It did, and I listened to it, waiting for my cue. As soon as I opened my mouth, the spotlight was on me and Johnny disappeared into the darkness.
"I am finding out… that maybe I was wrong. That I've fallen down, and I can't do this alone… Stay with me… This is what I need, please…"
The spotlights all turned on, and I grabbed the mike, twirling towards Johnny as I sang.
"Sing us a song… and we'll sing it back to you…"
I paused behind Johnny, the spotlight still on me, and as he was turning to look at me, I danced over to his other side, standing behind him again. I twirled back to center stage, facing the audience.
"We could sing our own, but what would it be without you, oh," I sang. I sat down on the prop bench.
"I am nothing now… and it's been so long… since I've heard a sound, the sound of my only hope…"
Johnny came and sat down next to me on the bench. I looked at him.
"This time, I will be listening…"
I jumped up and he grabbed my hand, twirling me. I let go and did a ballet jump, as embarrassing that was.
"Sing us a song… and we'll sing it back to you…"
Johnny reached for my hand, but I pulled it out of the way.
"We could sing our own, but what would it be without you, oh." I stared at Johnny, reaching out to him, and he reached back, but right before our hands touched, the spotlight went out.
"This heart, it beats, beats for only you…," I sang in the darkness.
"This heart, it beats, beats for only you, ohhhh!"
The light blared back to life and I was standing on top of a giant, plastic prop rose that was fully bloomed. My arm was outstretched to the air.
"This heart, it beats, beats for only you, my heart is yours… This heart, it beats, beats for only you, my heart is yours… This heart! It beats! Beats for only you! My heart is yours! This heart! It beats! Beats for only you! My heart…! My heart is yours…"
Johnny inched out from behind the stem of the flower, trying to climb up its leaves.
"My heart is yours… My heart is! Yours… Ohh…"
Johnny made it to the top of the flower, and I grabbed his hand, looking into his eyes, leaning closer as I sang the last line of my song in a soft octave.
"My heart is…"
The lights slowly faded to black, and when they turned back on, Johnny and I bowed together while the crowd went wild. I smiled.
"Thank you," I said into the mike before putting it back in place.
I ran into Carly's and Freddie's outstretched arms.
"Oh my gosh, Sam! That was so great!" Carly exclaimed, beaming at me. I pulled away from our group hug, grinning.
"Yeah, that was really amazing," Freddie said with a smile. My chest constricted. What the hell? I shook it off.
"Thanks, guys," I said. Spencer ran behind stage from the audience, screaming frantically as security guards chased him.
"Ah! Tell them! Tell them I'm with you!" He shouted. Normally I would have used this moment to pull a 'never seen him before', only Carly spoke before I could.
"He's with us, officers. He's my brother."
The guards nodded and walked off, and Spencer sighed in relief. Then he turned to me.
"You did really great, kiddo!"
I thanked him, and went to relax before the final results.
~~oOo~~
5 performances later, the results were in, and all of the girls were standing in a line onstage.
"In third place is… Gina Ferrari!"
A round of applause ripped through the audience as Gina accepted her medal.
"In second place is… LeAnn Carter!"
Everyone cheered, well, besides me, as she took her small silver trophy with a huge smile on her face. Ugh. So glad she didn't get first.
Well, this was it. I was either first, or I didn't even get a reward. Just a stupid certificate just like every other girl who wasn't good enough.
"And the winner is…"
I gulped, tensing my muscles.
"Sam Puckett!"
I screamed, jumping up and down as I grabbed my trophy, jutting it to the sky in triumph. The crowd went absolutely nuts, cheers, applause, whistles. I grinned and fist pumped.
"Yeah!" I shouted. "In your face, LeAnn!" I jabbed a finger at the prissy dramaqueen. She flashed a thumbs-up.
"Great job, Sam!"
"What the hell ever!" I exclaimed, a grin still prominent on my face. I laughed to the sky, and ran to go be congratulated by my friends. They didn't even wait until I was offstage, just grabbed me and hugged me, shouting praise over the noise of the crowd.
Victory!
~~oOo~~
In celebration of my winning the pageant, lemonade and oven-broiled ham was served. Dee-lish.
Carly asked me which board game I wanted to play, and I said 'Would you rather'. I don't know why I love that game so much. Since they didn't have it, Spencer and Carly set off to buy it, so it was just me and lord of the geeks.
Which meant I could torture him some more.
"Yo, nub."
"Um… yes?"
"Come massage my neck."
"What?"
"You heard me." I smirked as he sighed, sitting beside me on the couch. I moved my hair over my shoulder and kept my head turned towards the T.V. as I moved sideways. He sat cross-legged behind me.
As soon as his hands began to massage, I sucked in a breath and whirled around to face him, my hair whacking his face.
"How'd you do that?" I asked.
"Do what…?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Where the hell did you learn to massage like a freaking masseuse?"
"Uh, I don't know. My Godmother is one, and she gave my mom some pointers, and my mom passed them on to me," He replied.
"Oh. Well, continue," I said, and turned around again.
I bit my lip to hold back another gasp as he started up again. I'd never gotten a massage before, other than from Carly on occasion. Compared to Freddie, she was a disgrace at massaging. Not that I'd say it out loud.
He moved to my shoulders, and tingles went down my spine. Any muscles I had tensed were relaxed completely to the point where if a person were to give me a slight push, I'd fall right off the couch.
Jeez, his Godmother was good.
He moved to my back, and-get this- I actually let out a slight moan. I mean, come on. I could practically feel his smirk. I clenched my hands into fists which were almost instantly released due to the disappearing tension in my muscles.
As he moved to the middle of my back, I had to bite back another noise from escaping my mouth. Goosebumps trailed along my arms.
If he didn't stop, I think I'd die of pleasure.
This was why I turned around to face him once he reached my lower back. I grabbed his hands, stopping them.
"Dude, you have to stop. Tell your Godmother that she is a god. If you can do this from some pointers, then I want a massage from that lady." That's what I would have said.
But I didn't. Because I noticed that we were practically nose to nose. I could see the chocolaty irises of his eyes swirling around his pupil. I don't know why my heart slammed to a stop in my chest, or why my breath caught in my throat.
If I moved forward just an inch, then…
Then you know what.
And I did it. You know me, I'm an impulsive person. I don't know what made me do it, though. I go with my instincts, but why was that my instinct? Because he was a guy and I was a girl?
Like I said, I don't know. But I kissed him. It was a bit tentative at first, but then I deepened it. I didn't french him or anything, just kissed him. And here's the thing- he kissed back.
I won't lie. When I kissed him on the fire escape, I did feel a 'spark'. I thought that was because it was my first. But now, as I kissed him, it felt like I'd just shoved 20 packets of pop rocks in my mouth. I forgot that I was supposed to hate him.
But then we pulled away, and reality crashed back down on me. I stood abruptly when the front door opened.
"We got the game!" Spencer exclaimed.
Hip, hip, hooray.
~~oOo~~
Freddie
"Would you rather have your grandmother's name, or her haircut?" Carly asked me.
So it was either having the name Sarah or having a curly mass of dyed orange hair.
"Uh… is there a third option?" Like maybe thinking about the kiss I just shared with my friend/enemy? And how she made the move on me?
"C'mon, just answer so we can finish the game! You're the last one to go!" Spencer said. We were a good hearty hour into the game, so I didn't blame them for wanting to just finish.
"Her name, I guess," I finally decided.
As Carly and Spencer cleaned up, I motioned for Sam to follow me to the studio. For once, she listened.
"Why'd you kiss me?" I asked her. She rubbed the back of her neck.
"Uh…"
I stepped toward her.
"Do you… like me?" I asked. Her eyes widened.
"What? No way!" She exclaimed.
"Then why…"
"I don't know!"
"Well…" I paused, pondering whether or not to say what was on my mind. "It was nice."
She smirked. "Good work."
"You too."
"You know, Benson…"
"I know. I guess I… feelthesameway," I said quickly, bewildered that this conversation was even happening.
"I was going to say that if you spill soup on one of my dresses again, you won't be able to live to see soup again," She said. "But if we're getting all confess-y here, then I guess I kinda like you."
I smirked. "Well, if this is what's going to happen, maybe I will have to start soiling all your dresses. I never got to say sorry about that, by the way. So, sorry."
"It's not okay," She said, smiling. "But dude, I just realized something."
"What?" I asked. We were very close to each other now.
"I like a freaking nub," She said. Right before I kissed her, I came up with a pretty good reply.
"Yeah? Well I like a freaking demon."
A/N: So how'd you like it? I'm not even sure that Sam's dance instructor is named Johnny. I couldn't remember so I made a name up. Review, please! If you want to see Sam's dresses, then send me a private message and I'll send you the links.