could tell he was watching.
He stood in the shadows of the drapes, watching me as I worked in the garden.
Even with the humid weather beating down on me wrathfully, sweat collecting in the band of my shorts, I felt the chill in his eyes.
I felt naked under his gaze. I didn't return to the house until the shadow moved from behind the drapes.
:
"I'm not sure what's wrong! We found him like this outside of the Leaky Cauldron!"
"Has he said anything since you found him?"
"No, I don't even think he realizes who I am!"
"Calm down, it will be ok. It always is, isn't it?"
:
I was cleaning my room when I felt him by the door. The summer sun made his profile stand out in sharp relief in the doorway to my room.
I watched him from under my eyelashes and said nothing as he watched me.
He heaved himself off the wall, and I couldn't help but flinch at the movement.
I didn't see him again until dinner.
On the way down the stairs I wondered how long he had been watching me before I noticed he was there.
:
"From what I can tell, he is trapped in his mind. He is in a coma-like state"
"We need to go in and get him then!"
"The mind is a very delicate place! We cannot go blasting in! We need to see if he wakes up himself."
:
I didn't move when I woke up in the middle of the night. I can tell he is watching me again.
As the sheet is dragged down my hips, off my knee, and over my feet, I don't even let my breathing change. One never knows what angers him.
I do not even flinch as my bed dips with his extra weight.
I want to scream as his facial hair scratches my cheek as he licks my neck.
He drags down my shorts and I wish I wore more than my underwear to bed.
I can feel him breathing harshly in my ear as he strokes himself.
He growls obscenities as he comes on me.
When he leaves, after fixing me so it looks like I had a wet dream.
I do not bother trying to hide my tears as they stream down my face.
I do not make a sound though.
:
"He just said something!"
"Are you sure Moony? I did not hear anything."
"Listen!"
"..no...please!"
"Moo-"
"Shh! Listen!"
"...Sirius! Please!"
"Go get Madam Pomfrey! Now Padfoot!"
"He's calling me! I have to help!"
"...Please! I'm sorry!"
:
He's always watching me now. Sometimes I see him reach out to touch me then jerk his hand away.
It became routine.
Just like his nightly visits.
:
"Pomfrey! Come quick! Harry is waking up!"
:
It wasn't until the night he handcuffed my wrists to the headboard that I stopped faking sleep.
:
"Calm down, Harry. It's me! Remus!"
"…I'm sorry! ... I tried... tried to be good!"
:
I stared down at me and it was then I knew. I knew that he had always known I was never sleep.
:
"You have to calm down Harry!"
"...I...I wasn't good enough! I'll be better!"
"You are a good boy, please Harry, just calm down!"
:
He wipes the tears from my eyes. We both know that he's planning to do.
His pre-cum drips onto my stomach. I shudder.
"Please...Don-"
I'm cut off as he mashes his lips onto mine
:
"I'm sorry!"
:
He whispers in my ear as he prepares me. Tells my how its all my fault.
I wish I could shut my ears like I can shut my eyes.
:
"Please calm down!"
:
He splits me in two and I break.
"Sirius! No! Please! I'm sorry!"
:
"Please! Sirius!"
"Give him a calming potion and let Sirius stay with him. The poor child keeps calling out for him. Maybe when he wakes up again Sirius will be able to help."
"...It hurts..."
FINI