Title: I Missed
Summary: Two words would haunt him forever… "I missed."
Disclaimer: I do not own. All rights belong to their respective owners.
A/n: Yes, this is a death fic. Yes, this is a one-shot. Yes, you can press the 'back button' if this isn't your cuppa-tea. Yes, this is only a short little one. I wanted to try a new style. Yes, you can leave behind some feedback; I always love to know what my readers think, especially when it comes to angst ;)
/Raphael/
It wasn't supposed to be like this. My brother wasn't supposed to be dying in front of me. I wasn't supposed to miss. But I did, and because of that, I lost a brother.
I really angered him tonight. I know I pushed him to hard, said too many things I shouldn't. I could see the rage leaking from his slowly decomposing blank face. I could see his eyes flair with hurt and anger, and yet I still didn't stop. I didn't stop when his composer cracked. I didn't stop when he yelled back at me. I didn't stop when he flinched. But it was when he turned around and ran out the door that I knew I had gone too far.
The realisation hit me like a truck, and nearly brought me down to my knees. The anger and rage that I had felt just moments before dissipated like fog on a hot morning, leaving me drained and filled with unfathomable regret.
Why did I always do this? Why did I always have to pick a fight with him? Why did I always have to hurt him?
I saw Donnie and Mikey's eyes peer around the corner, looking at me with silent accusation and disbelief. They couldn't believe how far I had gone either. It wasn't fair to them either.
I couldn't stay here. I couldn't look at my brothers, knowing what they were thinking about me. I couldn't stay here with the shouted words running through my head I had subjected my brother too. I had to find him. I had to explain to him that I didn't mean a word I said. I had to tell him I was sorry.
Stumbling to my feet, I raced towards the open door and out into the dark sewers. I knew where he would be; I always knew where he would be.
Leonardo.
The night was bitter cold. Harsh winter winds tugged violently at my mask tails, and whipped painfully against my cold skin. It was almost like there were hundreds of invisible hands trying to grab me and push me off the roof. The wind stung my eyes; I could barely open them.
I could feel snow in the air, and knew if I didn't find Leo and get us home soon, we would both freeze to death.
Forcing my numb legs forward, I raced across the rooftops, leaping through the frigid air and landing painfully on the frozen rooftops.
I didn't know what time it was; the stars and the moon were covered by a thick layer of snow-burdened clouds and I had left my shell-cell in the lair.
I don't know how long I was running for, or even where I was running. It was like I just knew where Leo was. I could feel him; he wasn't far.
The sound of fighting reached my ears over the howling wind. I skidded to a stop, my body rigid as I strained my ears. I could hear metal scrapping against metal, bodies being thrown roughly to the ground, and then, my brother's cry of pain.
Leo
"Leo!"
I moved, quicker than I ever have. I reached the edge of the roof in a blur, the sound of Leo's cry echoing in my ears.
He was in the alley, ankle deep in garbage and filth and unmoving bodies. I could tell straight away that he was out numbered and injured. Blood rain down his arm from a deep cut in his shoulder, and he favoured his left leg. His katanna were blood-stained, and so was his chest. He was panting for breath, his eyes beginning to droop with exhaustion.
I could tell by their tattoos that the bodies around Leo belonged to Purple Dragons. There was only one left; a big brute of a man, his arms heavily muscled. He had one of Leo's Katanna, and help the tip centimetres away from Leo's exposed throat.
He was going to kill him.
"Leo!"
Leo looked up at my cry, hazel eyes locking on mine. A moment passed, and in that single moment, we had forgiven each other. It was a look that no words could insinuate nor convey.
I didn't have time to get down in the alley. The man was seconds away from impaling my brother.
I only had one shot.
Drawing out a sai, I pulled my arm back, aimed, and threw the sharp weapon with all the strength I had. And the sai flew true, that is, until the wind picked up. My sai slammed into Leo's chest, straight through his plastron and into his heart.
His eyes widened his mouth opening in a choked cry of pain. A thin trail of blood ran down his chin before he crumpled to the ground.
The Purple Dragon stepped back, turning around to look up at me. The grin on his face said everything, before he dropped Leo's katanna and fled into the shadows.
"Leo, no!"
I don't remember how I got down into the alley so fast, but from the sharp pain lancing up both my legs, I realized later that I must have jumped from the roof.
I collapsed next to Leo, pulling his body into my lap.
He was dead.
"No! Leo!" Tears ran down my cheeks, hot and salty. My vision blurred with them, and my heart felt like it had been ripped apart by rabid dogs.
Leo was dead. I didn't get to tell him I was sorry. I didn't get a chance to tell him that everything I had said to him before was a lie, I didn't mean it. I didn't get to tell him I loved him. My last words to him before he ran out the door were; "I hate you." The three worst words anyone could ever say.
And then I killed him.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I whispered, cradling his lifeless body in my arms as sobs wracked my body.
The first flakes of snow began to drop, as did the temperature, but I didn't notice. I knew that if I didn't get home soon, I would freeze to death, but I didn't care. I couldn't move, couldn't do anything but weep and sob for what I had done. And the same two words whispered in my mind over and over again; two words I knew would torture me forever.
I missed….I missed
-End-