Ten ways Thanos's plan failed
This was inspired by a recent subreddit I saw which was pick the five anime characters to make your anime avengers team to fight him.
1- My Hero Academia
The heroes and villains of the world put up a valiant fight against Thanos and his forces but the intergalactic tyrant proved victorious.
"A valiant effort child but utterly futile," Thanos said as Deku groaned beneath the titans boot. The all for one user put up an incredible fight lasting longer than anyone else and even driving Thanos to his knees before he resorted to using the infinity gauntlet's powers to win.
"Eri run…" Deku groaned spotting the young girl peaking out from the rubble of UA.
"Mr. Deku," Eri whimpered.
"You know this child," Thanos said picking Deku up.
"I saved her," Deku groaned.
"Then I will spare her life," Thanos said as he activated the ultimate power of the infinity glove.
"You leave Mr. Deku alone," Eri screamed as Deku began to knit himself back together.
"Impossible," Thanos gasped as everyone began to return to normal.
"I am trying to save the universe," Thanos said.
"NO!" Eri screamed emitting a wave of energy colliding with the energies flowing from the infinity gauntlet.
The battle was short lived as the powers and desires of one young reality warping girl fought powers born from the creation of the universe. Sadly, for Thanos the infinity stones lost as he was erased from existence.
2- The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya
"What can you hope to do against me boy," Thanos said looking down on Kyon.
"Seeing as I'm just an ordinary human, not much, but I will give you one last chance to leave and never come back," Kyon said as the other members of the SOS brigade quivered in fear at the alien giant, and awe at the way Kyon was staring him down.
"And what will you do if I don't," Thanos said. "The stone will destroy you if you try to use it against me."
"True but all I need to do is say one phrase and its game over for you," Kyon said.
"Really, and just what will this phrase do," Thanos said.
"Awaken a god, a real one," Kyon boasted.
"Try me," Thanos grinned.
"Haruhi," Kyon said.
"Yes," Haruhi said as the others dove for cover.
"I am John Smith," Kyon said.
"Impossible," Haruhi gasped falling to her knees as Kyon told her more things from that night so long ago.
"So, you see, you can end your plan to erase half of the world from existence, or piss off Haruhi," Kyon said.
"Um oops," Haruhi said as Thanos vanished.
3- Touma Kamijou
"Oh, come on," Touma said hearing the familiar sound of shattering glass signaling the activation of the imagine breaker waking him up again.
"Is something wrong Touma," Index asked.
"My imagine breaker has been going off all night, so I would love to know what is going on," Touma ranted. I can try and see if there is any residual magic in the air, but it will be a long shot. Index began chanting as a shadow passed over the city. "Never mind," Touma said as a large ship descended above Academy City, specifically over Touma's apartment. A few stairs later and the pair was staring up at the massive ship.
"Are they aliens," Index asked.
"Are you the jerks who kept me up all night. You realize this is my first weekend free in a long time and you kept me up all night and now you are going to get in the way of my date with the girl I like," Touma ranted shaking his fist at the ship as the other level 5s arrived.
"That….." Misaka growled.
"Don't this is just getting good," Accelerator said giggling at delight of Touma making a fool of himself.
"Yeah sure I didn't ask her out yet, but I'm pretty sure that crazy bug zapper would say yes. I know she might not look like much now, but she is a nice girl when she isn't trying to electrocute me, so get your bone gray asses out here right now so I can break your illusions and you can go home. I've got a few hours before she wakes up to get ready for the small window when her teleporter friend will begone with the other girls who might get in the way. It took me weeks to arrange everything so there wouldn't be a fight, but you don't care about that. So, if it's a fight you want then get down here right now.
"You dare defy Thanos," two creepy aliens said after beaming down from the ship.
"Yeah well Thanos kept me up all night," Touma ragged before they charged him.
"Keep your hands off my boyfriend," Misaka roared firing off lances of lightening.
"Misaka," Touma gasped.
"The answer is yes," Misaka replied as Accelerator and Sogita joined the fray.
"You owe me for this hero," Accelerator yelled.
"Fine, Accelerator I'll get Worst to go on a date with you, Mugino I have some friends you might like, Songita I'll talk to iron wall girl for you," Touma said marching up to Thanos who finally decided to grace them with his presence.
"You dare defy me," Thanos said holding out the completed infinity gauntlet.
"And you're the overgrown mutated barney who has kept me up all night," Touma growled.
"I…." Thanos began.
"I don't care," Touma growled launching himself at Thanos.
"Ugh, what hit me," Touma groaned.
"Sssshhhh," index said as she watched over him.
"Oh no…" Touma gasped slowly looking down as Misaka stirred in his arms as they laid on his bed.
"Um, Index what happened," Touma asked quietly.
"Before or after you destroyed the infinity gauntlet with the imagine breaker.
"Um from the beginning," Touma said. "This is kind of nice."
"Thanos is an ancient Titan who wants to kill half of the life in the universe with the power of the infinity stones, which was being blocked by the imagine breaker, which kept you up all night last night. When his ship came here, you challenged him to a fight, so he couldn't mess up your date and the other level 5s came to observe. You said if they helped you would find them dates," Index said pointing to the other level 5s and their dates all passed out on the floor of his apartment.
"What did I do Index," Touma asked.
"They handled his minions while you destroyed the infinity stones, because they are basically magic. With his protection gone Misaka used her rail gun on him, while Accelerator tossed his ship out of the atmosphere. It was like something right out of an anime," Index said with stars in her eyes.
"And then what happened," Touma asked.
"You kissed me," Misaka said now finally awake. "And we had a rather wild party to celebrate."
"In my defense I thought it was a dream," Touma said.
4- Lina Inverse
"It looks like your world is recovering well," Lina said as Sirius showed her another planet.
"Yes, the destruction of Darkstar caused my universe to be reborn, and the development was accelerated until it matched that of the other worlds.
"That's great," Amelia said.
"But this is more than just a social call," Zelgadiss stated.
"Yes," Sirius replied. "It seems that a megalomaniac named Thanos has gotten his hands on the 7 stones that contain the remnants of Dark Stars Powers.
"Ok, giga slave first questions later." Lina hissed. "And this time he better stay dead."
5- Kantai Collection
It wasn't Thanos's lucky day as several infinity stones ended up on earth in the hands of something called ship girls. It started off so well to, he easily pushed aside a bunch of tiny girls that apparently were ship girl escort carriers or something. What he didn't expect was a young girl with blue hair to punch him hard enough to break his ribs, which never happened before.
"You have the power stone," Thanos hissed.
"I don't know what a power stone is, but you hurt my friends," Samuel B Roberts said before charging him again.
"Can I help," a much larger girl asked.
"Are you all better," Sammie asked hanging off Thanos's arm.
"Akashi fixed me up and gave me this pretty red stone," Shinano said before joining the fun as the Taffies liked to call it.
"You done goofed," Ryuujou explained glaring at Thanos as Sammie, Shinano, held him down.
"I will," Thanos hissed.
"Do nothing you dumb ass," Ryuujou growled. "We have these infinity stones and will not allow you to destroy the universe. We are not uncaring to your plight as we realize that as the last of your kind you lack anyone who you can enjoy relations with. This is where some of our new friends come in."
"So, this is the one who can survive snu, snu, with Battleship demons," Wanko asked.
"Probably," Ryujou said.
"Excellent, they will make sure that he learns to be a good boy," Wanko said before motioning for her battleship demons to take him.
6- Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid
"Kobayashi I'm home," Kanna called out as she entered the apartment.
"Kanna would you mind telling me what you were doing when you went flying over the weekend," Kobayashi asked as she sat at the Kitchen table with several others standing behind her.
"In my defense I thought he was a bad guy, and Tohrou always said Titans taste really good and its ok to eat them because their aliens," Kanna blurted out under the glare of Kobayashi's scary eyes.
"Oh, he was a bad guy alright," Tony Stark chuckled.
"Really," Kanna said.
"Very bad, kill half of the universe bad," Thor added.
"You did the world a favor," Steve Rogers said patting the girl on the head.
"But do you know what happened to the infinity stones," Thor asked.
"Lucoa took those and smashed them, so they wouldn't cause any more trouble," Kanna explained.
"She crushed them," Thor gaped.
"Yeah, she said they never should have been made in the first place, or something," Kanna stated.
"Well then alls well that ends well," Thor said heading for the door.
7- Tenchi Muyo
"Oh, so that's where they went," Washu said walking out of the trees as people began to turn into ash.
"Who are you," Steve said as Thanos instantly healed from a warhammer to the chest.
"I'm Washu, the greatest scientific genius in the universe," Washu said flipping her hair.
"And this matters because," Thanos said clenching his fist in victory.
"It matters you big lug, because you tried to end half the life in the universe using one of my inventions," Washu hissed smacking Thanos on the head with a paper fan as the infinity stones disappeared.
"Impossible, the infinity stones were remnants of the big bang," Thor stated.
"Not impossible, and I made them because I wanted to see if I could make something more powerful than my sisters and I," Washu explained.
"And you are," Thanos asked.
"One of the three chousin who created the universe in the first place," Washu said letting some of her true power flow through her body. "Now if you will excuse me I need to put these back where they belong and begin researching how you didn't kill yourself using them," Washu said grabbing Thanos and stepping through a portal back to her lab.
"Um, that just happened right," Steve asked.
"Yes, and that is now officially the strangest thing I have ever seen," Thor replied.
8- Hellsing Abridged
"Taking the police girl and the Frenchman to Wakanda," Alucard called out.
"Alucard," Integra growled slamming her hands on her desk.
"Hey barney you missed me," Alucard sang out as another blast from the infinity stones missed the crazy vampire.
"You know this reminds me of Brazil," Pip said firing at the oncoming alien dog monsters
"You and I remember Brazil very differently," Seras said as she tore one of the creatures in half.
9- Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha
The battle was not going well for the warriors of Wakanda as more and more dog like creatures swarmed into Wakanda along with the rest of Thanos's forces. Even with the help of Thor's arrival the numbers continued to grow, or at least until two female voices called out above the deafening sounds of battle.
"Divine Buster, Thunder Rage," was heard across the battlefield as twin beams of pink and yellow energy vaporized the creatures rushing through the gap in the shield.
"Vita, Signum, Zaffira, exterminate with extreme prejudice," Hayate ordered. "Shamal tend to the wounded.
"Can Einhart and I help mom," Vivio asked.
"Yes dear, just be careful," Nanoha replied.
"Are you sure that is safe Nanoha," Fate asked.
"She's fully recovered from the cradle and has awoken her full potential as the Saint Kaiser," Fate said.
"I meant him," Fate said as Vivio and Einhart squared off against a purple behemoth.
"I'll step in if it gets too bad," Nanoha said continuing to rain pink destruction down on the battlefield.
"To late," Thanos said clenching his fist activating the Infinity stones.
"Um was that supposed to do something," Einhart asked as Thanos smiled in delight.
"Yes, I have just destroyed half of the life in the universe," Thanos replied.
"Oh, so that's what the funky magical wave was," Vivio said between breaths. "Um Mom, Hayate I could use a little help, it's taking a lot more than I thought to block his magic." Vivio asked.
"Sure, thing honey," Nanoha said adding her own magic to the shield currently blocking the infinity stones.
"Who are you people," Black Panther asked.
"General Hayate Yagami Time Space Administration Bureau," Hayate replied. "And we don't take to kindly to people who play with the fabric of reality. I'll handle the shield Vivio."
"Vivio, Einhart, you know all those things we told you not to do," Nanoha said.
"We're allowed," the pair grinned.
"Yes," Fate added.
"You know I almost feel sorry for the guy," Rocket Racoon said.
"I am groot," Groot said as Thanos was on the receiving end of things for once.
"It looks like you won't have to worry about breaking them Steve," Thor chuckled before a pink ball of energy smacked him in the head.
"Please don't perv on my daughter you hentai," Nanoha hissed.
10- Dragon Ball Super
"Wait so your goal is to erase half of all life in the universe," Gohan asked.
"Yes," Thanos replied.
"Ok, that is a really stupid plan," Gohan replied.
"It is necessary for life to thrive, otherwise it will die from a lack of resources," Thanos stated.
"Ok let me stop you right there. 1- who are you Thomas Malthus on steroids or something. 2- Beerus is the official god of destruction for this universe. 3- We can just undo anything with the dragon balls. 4- What makes you think we will let you," Gohan explained.
"What make you think you can stop me," Thanos boasted.
"Hey Buu here is that life sized purple barney the dinosaur you wanted. It even doubles as a sparring partner," Gohan called out.
"Buu have fun with you, but stupid glove get in the way," Buu cheered slamming into Thanos and removing the glove.
"Hey Beerus, Whiz, are you staying for dinner," Videl said as the destruction god and his angel appeared.
"Certainly," Whiz replied as Beerus retrieved the gauntlet.
"This is the infinity gauntlet, pathetic," Beerus sneered destroying the glove, and stones in a purple flash. "Learn to use your own power."
"Impossible," Thanos gasped.