"It's no good it won't shut." Craig exclaimed in mild frustration as he struggled with the rusted zipper of his dusty, old suitcase. The mountain of laundry he'd stuffed inside was protesting strongly disenabling him from closing it properly. The zip had got stuck halfway round its run and for several arduous minutes he had jiggled and pulled at it whilst leaning his weight across the lid, but to no avail, the zip refused to budge any further.
John-Paul, who was leant calmly against the wall, rolled his eyes before offering up his view on the situation. "You know if you'd packed it right in the first place and folded your clothes instead of cramming them all in, like I suggested, then you wouldn't be struggling now. See it does make sense to listen to me but you're too stubborn for your own good", he gazed fondly at Craig smiling, his blue eyes twinkling humorously.
"Yeah, yeah I know", Craig answered distractedly and then climbed atop his bulging suitcase as John Paul looked on in amusement, his smile widening. Craig sat down heavily and began bouncing vigorously, trying to squash down the overflowing contents inside. The bedsprings creaked noisily as Craig, grimacing and grunting with effort, bounced up and down with all he was worth. At last he was making some progress as he managed to slightly compress the heap of clothes, he felt sure the zip would run smoothly now.
A moment later, the sound of hurried, squeaking footsteps drew their attention to Frankie's presence outside the door. "What's going on in there?" Frankie asked accusingly, her voice muffled through the solid wood of the door. She had been chatting, to her great surprise, almost entirely pleasantly to Myra McQueen, a woman she had never spared much respect for even before Craig and John-Paul's relationship had come to light, when the odd sounds coming from Craig's bedroom had immediately aroused her suspicions.
"There's nothing going on mum, I'm just packing." Craig called back to her hastily, having ceased bouncing. His face had begun to colour red with embarrassment, his cheeks glowing at her insinuation that he was engaging in something far different to packing.
"Well it doesn't sound much like packing to me", they heard her retort sharply. "There had better not be any funny business going on in there. I might just be prepared to accept that you and that lad are a couple but I won't have acts of that nature carrying on in my home. Do I make myself clear, I won't allow it." Frankie's voice had risen considerably in volume.
A sigh escaped Craig, "Mum I swear to you, there's nothing going on." To prove it he got up and went to his door to let his mother come in and see for herself that nothing untoward was happening. "See just packing like I told you", Craig's tone was pleading, begging his mother to believe him that her accusations were unfounded. He didn't want her thinking any less of him than she already did, he had to regain her love and support before he left for Dublin because he desperately wanted the reassurance that the door would always be left open for him to return one day.
"John-Paul smiled, "Craig's just having a bit of bother trying to get his suitcase to do up, that's the noises you would have heard. I tried advising him that cramming it all in wasn't the best way but he had other ideas." His eyes glimmered affectionately as they took in Craig's now sheepish expression. "Don't worry I'm not about to get Craig into bed the minute your back is turned, believe it or not I do have some self control", he chuckled.
Frankie's sneer of disdain froze on her face for a moment then she fixed John-Paul with one of her hardest stares. "I'll never forgive you for corrupting my son and turning him..." She couldn't bring herself to say the word; there was a bitter taste in her mouth. The crestfallen look she then saw upon Craig's face caused her icy stare to melt into something almost piteous, tears glistening in her eyes as she surveyed her youngest son. "But I'll always support Craig's life choices, no matter how daft they are. I couldn't call myself a mother if I didn't", she finished quietly, a single, anguished tear falling.
"Being gay isn't a choice you make..." John Paul was ready for a repeat of an old argument but Frankie, now almost in hysterics, ignored him and swept out of the room, banging the door shut behind her. This clearly emphasised that she was in no mood to listen to anything further that John-Paul had to say and he was rather taken aback by her attitude. He had hoped his own mum might find a way to get through to her and make her see John-Paul and Craig's relationship in a different light.
Outside, Frankie took a moment to regain her composure. She still couldn't bring herself to forgive that lad for taking her son away from her in every way possible and nothing Myra or anybody said would change that. It would take a little time before she would be able to readily accept that John-Paul was the one Craig had chosen to spend his life with.
"I'm done packing now; did you want to get a drink downstairs?" Craig asked John-Paul shakily, blinking away hot tears.
"Ok sure, are you alright?" He went over to stand by Craig's side and gently massaged the top of his arm, offering him a little comfort but Craig just shrugged his hand away. "Don't worry about your mum, Craig she loves you and she wants what's best for you. I guess I never figured anywhere in the grand scheme she had planned for you but you're happy with me and she'll see that and nothing else will matter more to her than your happiness."
"I hope you're right", Craig mumbled sadly. "Let's go and have that drink and then maybe afterwards I dunno we could go for a walk or something."
"Yeah I'd like that", John-Paul grinned happily.
The September sun beat down on them as they strolled casually through the scenic park, watching the ducks at the waterside fighting over bread crumbs that people threw down to them. Overhead the leaves of the trees were still glossy and green with life, summer wasn't over yet but it wouldn't be long before the leaves took on more autumnal shades and one by one fell to the ground to later be swept up by the park keeper.
Craig and John-Paul would be far away by then, enjoying a brand new start in Dublin, spending every day with each other and then falling asleep together every night. It was almost too perfect to be true and John-Paul felt the urge to pinch himself to see if he was only dreaming and Craig and Sarah were still engaged whilst he just remained Craig's secret lover.
Craig meanwhile was still struggling with his guilt, for the way he had hurt Sarah so badly and the way he felt he had let his family down. He didn't dare express any of this to John-Paul for fear of him taking it badly in someway.
Craig couldn't help but notice that something was different between them since going public. The spark was undeniably still there, the emotional intensity, the infatuation and desire but something was missing. It was as though there was a hole in their relationship that just wouldn't mend or a gap that just couldn't be bridged. It was probably nothing, or at least Craig hoped it was nothing, how could he lose John-Paul now? He was everything to him, he completed him and without John-Paul nothing made sense.
Craig stopped walking and stared out over the rippling waters of the duck pond, looking into the distance, perhaps hoping for a glimpse of the future. Did that future include John-Paul, would they still be together years down the line and would they be happy? Would they drift apart and only stay together because a little love still lingered and neither could find the courage to end everything? Craig shook his head, "NO!"
"Something wrong Craig?" John-Paul saw that Craig had fallen behind.
"No, no it's nothing...I love you." Craig blurted out.
"I love you too, you're all I've ever wanted Craig Dean." John-Paul slipped his arm around Craig's tense shoulders. "It's because I love you that I can tell something's up and I only wish you'd tell me so that I could help."
"I don't know what's wrong", Craig answered truthfully. "This is what I want, being with you and living with you in Dublin but..." Craig wasn't sure how to voice that he thought John-Paul was holding back that he wasn't being entirely honest, that he knew as well as Craig did that something was amiss with them lately.
"What?" John-Paul turned Craig to face him, gazing into his soulful, brown eyes, trying to read what lay behind them. "What is it? You're scaring me."
"This is what I want", Craig repeated, "I'm just gonna miss my family being around. You know I've lived with them my whole life and now I'm flying the nest well...I'm really gonna miss them" Craig faked a smile hoping that John-Paul wouldn't see through his lie.
"Of course you are", John-Paul smiled sympathetically, "but you're still gonna have me to keep you company so it's not all bad."
Craig nodded slowly, "I'll always be alright as long as I have you."
"You've got me", John-Paul said sincerely. "I'd have to be a fool to walk away now." He took Craig's hand again as he led him through the park against the backdrop of a beautiful sky with a sun that was now beginning to set over another day. In two days from now Dublin would be beckoning and they would answer that call together and hopefully just like today the years they spent with each other afterwards would be a walk in the park.