Few Ups and Downs- the rest of the story
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
There was this one page Launchpad McQuack story "A Few Ups and Downs" (from "Ducktales Annual 1993") in which the control tower wanted to know why his plane was going first up and then down suddenly and it turned out Launchpad had the hiccups.
Old and bad joke. And, as a story line, doesn't make a whole lot of sense) so I took the story and I'm running with it. As long as it's not a pair of scissors.
The Beagle Boys were trying to rob the Money Bin (yet, again, for a change, for the umpteenth time...) by plane this time. Bomber Beagle had a plane circling the Money Bin and Bad-luck Beagle (1) was dangling by a wire, being lowered to the roof of the Money Bin.
Launchpad was minding his own business, flying a plane when he spotted them. Seeing Launchpad's plane coming, Bomber Beagle gunned their plane and started firing at Launchpad, heedless of the dangling Beagle below.
Now the other Beagles don't like Bad-luck at all because he's considered a jinx, always causing bad luck to happen ESPECIALLY to himself. Any time he's with the other Beagles, they get caught up in his bad luck. So they didn't mind shooting at Launchpad's plane, even if it meant Bad-luck, still dangling, might get shot, too.
"Hey, Bomber, Bad-luck's still down there!" Burger Beagle said.
"Who cares? It was probably his bad luck that got us caught- again! We're shooting our way out of here, and if he gets caught in the fire, good riddance! He's not even from OUR branch of the family and I'm sick of him jinxing us!" Bomber replied.
When Launchpad saw that they were shooting at him. He saw the dangling Bad-luck Beagle was in the path of the bullets, Launchpad knew he had to rescue the poor snook, even if he was a crook.
So he made the plane go suddenly up and down, like it had the hiccups. This was so when the control tower asked him what was wrong he could SAY that he had the hiccups so the cops wouldn't interfere until AFTER Launchpad rescued Bad-luck Beagle. It also let Launchpad avoid the bullets by going up and down so suddenly. Launchpad "hiccupped" down and let Bad-luck drop into his opening cockpit, safe and sound.
"Hey!" the startled Bad-luck Beagle said.
"You want I should let them shoot at you?" Launchpad asked, jokingly.
"No way! What's jail again to ME?" Bad Luck Beagle replied.
So Launchpad went faster to catch up with the other Beagles in the fleeing plane. But Launchpad had made a serious mistake: he thought Bad-luck Beagle would at least be grateful enough for being rescued to not give Launchpad any trouble. Launchpad should have know better.
The ungrateful Beagle, not caring that Launchpad had saved his life two seconds ago, tried to throttle Launchpad from behide.
"Launchpad, look out behide you!" came Mr. McDuck's voice thru Launchpad's headphones.
"Mr. McD? Launchpad asked and automatically turned around- in time to see Bad-luck before he could grab Launchpad by the neck.
Launchpad got mad and popped Bad-luck one good on the nose.
"Hey, stupid, you know how to fly a plane?' Launchpad asked him.
"Er-no." Bad-luck admitted, rubbing his sore nose.
"Then it's a good thing you didn't succeed in hurting me! SOMEBODY'S got to fly this thing and YOU don't know how! And landing's the hardest part. Now behave yourself or I'll tie you up!" Launchpad said.
"Says you! All I gotta do is press the autopilot button!" Bad-luck Beagle said, trying to hurt Launchpad AGAIN.
"Idiot! Autopilot just keeps the plane flying at the same speed and direction it was when you pressed it- sort of like cruise control on a car!(2) SOMEBODY still has to land!" Launchpad said and this time he tied Bad-luck Beagle up with the wire he had been hanging down from the other plane by.
"Launchpad! It's a good thing you're flying one of my money transfer plane with the built-in surveillance cameras or I couldn't have warned you what that crook was up too!" Mr. McDuck screamed at him thru the headphones.
"Mr. McD? Where are you?" asked Launchpad, a tad confused.
"In my Money Bin, where else? Those blasted Beagles' set off an alarm when they tried to rob the place and I came a-running! What were you thinking, bringing a Beagle into one of my money transfer planes?" Mr. McDuck replied.
"Hey, I already delivered the money and gems you told me to! I was just bringing back the empty plane to its hanger! And I would have rescued the Beagle even if the plane was full! Although I would have tied him UP if I had anything worth stealing-, which I SHOULD have done, anyway! But since he's made me mad, I think I capture his brothers." Launchpad said.
"How are you going to do that?" Mr. McDuck roared.
"Simple! I'll keep hiccupping!" Launchpad said.
And he "hiccupped" his plane so it slammed into the Beagles' plane. First from below, then from the left, then from above- again and again from above and from the left, Launchpad "hiccupped" on the Beagle's plane, heading it to his own airstrip.
The Beagles tried to go faster than he could, but Launchpad has made some rather interesting modifications to his plane (3) and flew so fast he caught up to them like a Harley chasing a tricycle.
When he got close enough, he employed a new gizmo- landing gear that can '"grab" onto something like a hawk's talons grabbing it's prey (4) Launchpad used the claws to grab onto the Beagles' plane and force it to land, the landing gear extending under BOTH planes so they landed one on top of the other.
Naturally, both Launchpad and Mr. McDuck had called the cops, so the Duckberg police were waiting for the Beagle at Launchpad's airstrip with open arms- plus handcuffs and a police car to "escort" the Beagles to jail.
Mr. McDuck soon arrived to answer questions the cops had and to thank Launchpad.
"Those blasted Beagles had disguised themselves as painters and had painted the ceiling of my Bin with paint laced in acid! The paint neutralized the acid for a little while, then the acid made the ceiling of the Bin so weak, the Beagles could of easier broken in if you had not scared them off!" Mr. McDuck said.
The End.
(1)I made him up.
(2) At least that's how I THINK autopilot works.
(3) I kind of hate to ADMIT it, but he's had some help from Ugly Twerp. The two of them of have a mutual aid society going on where Launchpad basically designs the planes and UT the gizmos, since Launchpad isn't allowed to arm his planes. UT does make some computer stuff for Launchpad's planes, since Launchpad don't know from that.
And Launchpad tells UT to "Keep it simple! Don't be so blame Rube Goldberg-ish!"
Like in any collaboration, they help each other, their responsibilities overlap,-"one had washes the other".
Rube Goldberg, in case you don't know, was a cartoonist famous for drawing cartoons of nutty, complicated inventions that could never really work. There's a University of Engineering (don't know which one) that gives out an annual Rube Goldberg Award to the team of students that builds the most complicated machine to do a simple task that actually works. (All teams have the same parts to build it with. And it has to do the same task.) This is appropriate as Rube Goldberg's Dad made him study engineering fearing his son could not make a living in Art. No learning is ever COMPLETELY wasted, that education no doubt inspired the nutty inventions cartoons that won Rube Goldberg fame.
(4) Launchpad thought that up, but UT helped made it work. "I" probably don't dislike UT on Earth-Disney, I didn't until Disney stuffed him down my throat till he made me gag. The fact that he's STILL around (when he don't SELL) and Launchpad AIN'T (when he COULD sell if Disney knocked off making Launchpad look like a moron ) goes against logic as I understand it.
If "New Year's Daze' is the BEST you can do, just keep Launchpad in limbo, PLEASE!