Misfit Medicine Chapter 1, a x-men: evolution fanfic

A/N: This is a quick little nonsense fic I whipped up tonight after seeing a very funny musical episode of a certain medicine show I like. Somehow this just BEGGED to be brought into Misfitverse. This will only last a few chapters. It'd be a one-shot but I just want this bit up first as a stand-alone! Enjoy!

&&&

MISFIT MEDICINE

&&&

"Al I don't wanna go to no hospital!" Toad whined as Althea tugged on his arm. The Misfits and their Handlers were climbing out of a couple of jeeps in a hospital parking lot.

"Too bad baby, we've got to get our physicals…all of us!"

"Don't see why we can't get Lifeline or Doc to do it." Toad grumbled.

"For the last time, we occasionally need a medical reference from someone outside of the Pit." Roadblock explained as the handlers escorted them to the front door. "And as far as hospitals who'll see us go, this is it!"

"Lifeline worked here for a while before joining GI Joe." Cover Girl explained. "Some of his old mentors are still around. He was the one able to swing us in for a check-up."

"Him and a big fat 'contribution' to the Hospital." Low Light snorted.

"Anyway, it's just as well that we're coming. They agreed to take Lina on and give her some medical training here AND we need someone to check out Lance." Blind Master said as he jerked a thumb at Lance, who was being carried by Fred. "He hit his head pretty hard. Swears he hears everyone singing."

"I blame the Coyote." Shipwreck sighed. "Remind me, how did this one happen again?"

"Well, you're half-right dad which is a half more than you usually are." Althea answered. "Lance saw the Coyote again and started chasing him through the Manor. Unfortunately, Pietro had waxed the floor outside his room for reasons best left unknown and Lance ended up falling down the stairs and onto his head. He was fine for a while…then he just fainted."

"Good thing it was only his head that he landed on." Xi said. "It's the hardest thing he has."

"I hear that." Wanda agreed. "But I must admit that hearing everyone sing is a new one."

Lance was groggy and only half awake as he was carried into the doors of the hospital. A couple of doctors and the staff who were waiting for them walked up to them. An older, fifty-something incredibly insincere-looking doctor—and hospital chief of medicine—met him first…And Lance could've sworn that they were all actually singing!

"Hello, I'm Dr. Kelso, I'm delighted that you came

So the doctors say you fainted, and you don't know what's to blame

Well, put your mind at ease, there's no ill we can't outsmart

On behalf of all who work here..."

The others all burst in "Welcome to Saaacred Heart!"

A fresh-faced younger doctor with ridiculously gelled hair started singing. "Our facilities are excellent! You couldn't ask for more!"

"As long as you avoid the bathrooms on the second floor!" A man in a jumpsuit clearly the Janitor; added conspiratorily as he walked by:

Then Dr. Kelso started up again as he handed Lance off to another doctor, this one incredibly bitter looking (he looked vaguely like House) and said "This is Dr. Cox, I'll be giving him your chart!"

"And that's Dr. Kelso -- the kiss-ass of Sacred Heart!" Dr. Cox sang as he shoved Kelso away.

A young black, bald surgeon walked up next and started binding one of Angelica's hands, the result of another wooing attempt by Pyro. "You say you burned your hand real bad – we'll fix you up with gauze!"

"Perhaps you need your fat sucked out -- or want a smaller schnoz!" A young, bright, incredibly blond doctor in a white coat said to Fred and Todd respectively.

"Hey!" Althea protested as Todd restrained her from leaping at the doctor.

Dr. Kelso wrapped his arm around Shipwreck and sang into his ear, "You caught an S.T.D. from some tasty little tart?" His voice suggested that he had had this happen to him.

Everyone sang together: "We swear we won't judge you here at Sacred...Here at Sacred...Here at Saaaaacreed Heaaaart!"

Lance groaned as he realized how much trouble he was in as he heard a band play out of nowhere. Then Dr. Kelso tapped him on the shoulder and sang to him. "One more thing that I should mention, if what I've heard is true and everyone appears to be singing to you..."

"Ahh, Ahhh! Ahh, Ahhh! Ahh, Ahhh! Ahh, Ahhh!" Everyone harmonized.

"Your case is very serious! And we'd better start!" Kelso warned Lance.

Everyone finished: "'Cause if you think we're singing, you belong at Saaaaaaaacred Heaaaaaaaa--!

Doctors! Nurses! Patients! Dead guys!

Welcome to Sacred Heaaaaaaart!"

Lance nodded once and passed out. Really, what would YOU do?

A/N: Coming up next…more Scrubs madness with the Misfits!

&&&