Michelangelo Recipe: 2K12 Edition

Thank you for buying this exclusive Michelangelo Recipe: 2K12 Edition! Inside, we'll describe all the necessary steps and ingredients required to create your bubbly new addition to the family. We guarantee a lifetime of surprises, amazement, and laughter – or your money back!

Serving Size: For all who are within hearing and/or seeing distance.

Preparation Time: .001sec – 3hrs (Note: Keep in mind it took fifteen years for the Michelangelo to develop its personality, and even longer for the Create-A-Turtle Inc. to interpret it. Preparation Time may vary.)

Warnings: The Michelangelo is not a completely stable figure both mentally and physically. Be prepared for the unexpected. Create-A-Turtle Inc. is not responsible for any property damages and/or medical bills that may result in owning a Michelangelo.

Ingredients:

5 full scoops of Smiles (Note: For best results, Laughter is recommended as a substitute.)

1/2 cup of Cheesy Humor

1 drop of Sarcasm

3 tablespoons of Curiosity (Note: Do not add an excessive amount or the Michelangelo might unintentionally do harm to itself or others.)

2 teaspoons of Intelligence

2 pints of Sympathetic Understanding

1 quart of ADHD

4 slices of Philotherianism

A dash of Sensitivity

A handful of Complaints

1/4 cup of Sweetness (Note: Compassion is an acceptable substitute.)

1/2 gallon of Aerobatic Skills

2 spoonfuls of Catchphrases

A sprinkle of Squirrelanoid Fear

5 oz. of Vivid Imagination

A small chunk of Nunchuck Fury

Directions:

1. Put Smiles into a large bowl. Begin to mix at a slow pace. Gradually pour in other dry ingredients. (Note: Be sure to handle the Michelangelo ingredients with the utmost care; rushing the emotions may end in a catastrophe.)

2. Slowly add in wet ingredients while stirring at a medium pace. Continue to mix until soft and/or has Brotherly Fluffy texture.

3. Pour Michelangelo Batter into large bucket.

4. Set bucket into oven. Bake at 425 degrees F (220 degrees C) for a maximum of three hours. Gather family and friends to watch the Michelangelo bake. (Note: The more people present in the room, the better. The Michelangelo desires to be accepted by the human society. Results may be boosted if humans gaze upon it with smiles instead of frightened faces.)

5. Continue to bake the Michelangelo Batter until movement can be seen within the bucket. Remove the bucket as quickly as possible and release the Michelangelo.

6. Tell it you mean no harm, and that you are its new family and friends. Wait until the Michelangelo offers a smile and begins to rapidly asks questions before you engage more familiar contact with it.

Booyakasha! Congratulations; you have your very own Michelangelo! Be sure to give your Michelangelo as much attention as possible. Supervision will be required at all times.

FAQ:

Q – My Michelangelo is behaving strangely. I made sure to follow all the directions, yet it still displays odd actions at times. What can I do to fix it?

A – Create a Raphael! The Raphael will be sure to straighten up your Michelangelo as soon as possible. (Warning: The Raphael may cause harm to your Michelangelo. Be sure not to let your Michelangelo irritate the Raphael too often.)

Q – My Michelangelo is constantly humming to itself, and it is getting quite annoying. What can I do to make it stop?

A – Buy your Michelangelo a portable music player! It will not only keep your Michelangelo relaxed, but it will also tire out your Michelangelo after it dances to one of its favorite tunes! (Warning: Do not download polka music onto the music player.)

Q – My Michelangelo appears wary of me although I told it I meant no harm. What can I do to make it feel more comfortable?

A – Create a Leonardo! If you are successful in convincing the Leonardo you have come in peace, the Michelangelo will soon follow its lead.

Q – My Michelangelo has trouble sleeping at night. What can I do to help it relax?

A – Give your Michelangelo a new pet kitten! The Michelangelo will be sure to take good care of the new pet, and the comforting snuggles the kitten will give are sure to help your Michelangelo sleep at night!

Q – My Michelangelo has far too much energy for me to handle! How can I help it burn away some of its enthusiasm?

A – Buy your Michelangelo a skateboard, a few video games and a pinball machine! These three items should gradually help the Michelangelo settle down after use. (Warning: Do not let your Michelangelo build a skateboard ramp inside your home.)

Q – My Michelangelo is becoming lazy. How do I get it active?

A – Begin to train your Michelangelo in the art of ninjitsu! It has a natural gift in the activity, specifically nunchaku, and will be surely dedicated to it. If not, then create a Leonardo and/or Splinter. They will be sure to keep your Michelangelo on the Japanese art's tracks.

Thank you for giving yet another Michelangelo a welcoming home! We hope you live a long, happy and unpredictable life with your new addition to the family!

~ Create-A-Turtle Inc.

[Author's Notes]: Yes, I am aware it is fairly silly to create a Mikey in a bucket, but I had a bunch of free time on my hands and this was the result of my strange brain. Thank you to Petrichor for the inspirational pep talk which gave me to courage to post this; and thank you to all those stories out there that involve Character Manuals/Recipes which partially gave me the idea for this silly oneshot!

Were the ingredients accurate? Should I continue with the rest of the Turtles, or leave it at this? Oh boy, I am certainly paranoid on how this turned out...

Please let me know how I can improve this! Every review makes me smile ^-^