Q&A with Kisuke Urahara
Genre: Humor
Rating: T
Summary: Now we shall delve into the mind of our favorite Looney Tune, Kisuke Urahara. Questions and dares are welcome!
A/N: I've seen quite a few Q&As here and there, and I found them very amusing. Due to lack of motivation to continue my other multi-chaptered fics, I figured I would explore other areas with my skills. For some reason, Kisuke Urahara fascinated me and I decided to do a Q&A of my own with hat-'n-clogs as the attention-grabbing factor of this project. Reviews and requests of any kind are welcome. I do hope this gathers a positive response and that it appeals to the readers. Thank you.
Here's Kevvaaaay Talks!
Featuring...Kisuke Urahara!
I pirouette into the spotlight and trip, nose-diving into the cement floor. Dusting myself off, I wave offhandedly to the audience.
"Hello, everybody! And weeeelco-"
"Um...when are you going to let me go?" Then a grumbled "And why are you drawing out the vowels?" I turn to the sound of scuffling and squint through the opaque gloom to see Kisuke Urahara bound to a chair with a bungee cord.
"Hush," I say. "Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Welcome, readers! This is my Q&A! Here, you are free to ask any variety of questions and/or make requests/dares to Urahara or me, Kevvy—believe me when I say, I'll be glad to perform any manner of challenges you have for me. I will be presenting more characters to following chapters, but for now...it's just me and Urahara." Onimous inflections creep into my voice as I glance in the direction of our well-renowned hat-'n-clogs.
"Aren't we being a tad bit over-dramatic ?" Kisuke questions. I turn and slap him with a fish. "NO!" I bawl. "I deserve to be as staged as I wanna be!" I turn to glower at him.
"This is all your fault! If you weren't the only popular character I could drug with chloroform, then I would have someone hotter li-"
"Hey, I'm good-looking—ruggedly good-looking!" Urahara whines, struggling about in his bonds.
I sigh, and then sniffle. "If only the science for resurrection wasn't so impossible, then I could introduce this fic with the awesome-ness of Kaien."
I twirl about and turn on the lights in the dank basement we are secluded in.
"Now for our first dare. Urahara, I dare you..." A menacing pause, and then "to mop!" I slap Urahara in the face with a wet mop and kick a bucket of water and chemical cleaner to his feet. There's a stretched moment of silence.
"But I'm tied up," Urahara points out. I turn to him. "..."
Finally: "Then mop with your teeth." Kisuke blinks, and then commences to lean forward in an attempt to grasp the handle of the mop.
"Meanwhile, you readers think up all sorts of evil questions or dares for our friend here until then next chappy!"
"Hey, if I do this, will you set me free?" Urahara's voice inquires from the background.
"Maybe," I say, and slap him around with a fish again, hindering his efforts to get the mop.
"Oh, and by the way, our next chappy will feature Ichigo and Rukia! They are also included in our fun games, just to make things more appealing. Thank you very much. Until next time!" I wave and then return to torturing Urahara.
I have no rules for this establishment, so be free to ask or do anything you like.
:)