when i was a kid growing up, i never really hated mutants. i guess deep down inside i kinda wished i was one. i knew that many people hated them, hell one of the worst things to be called in the playground was "mutie freak", but i always kind of assumed that the powers made up for the prejudice. i thought they would be an extension of personality, a certain never-before-felt freedom in realizing the entire potential of your own being. boy, was i wrong.
the first time my powers expressed themselves was the most terrifying moment of my life. i was about thirteen. me and a couple of friends had taken over a swingset at the local park and were rehashing kiddie times of who could jump off the highest. as i reached the peak of my swing's arc, the air rushing past my face, my friends laughter ringing in my ears, i felt as though i had never been more at ease in my life. the excitement of my upcoming daring leap making my blood run madly through my veins, i let go of the chains ... but never hit the ground. instead i felt like the wind itself was rushing through me, pushing and pulling in eddies and updrafts and powerful currents. i looked at the ground, then at my hands ... which were no longer there ... in fact none of my body was to be seen ... hell, i didnt even know how i could be seeing, since i apparently no longer had eyes. i was the wind and it frightened me. frightened me so badly that my heart lurched to a halt and my body suddenly reappeared. unfortunately we were nowhere near the ground.
when i finally came to my friends were once again by my side. only instead of carefree laughter, there was fear in their eyes. and not just fear for me, but fear of me. that hurt. a lot. i had apparently disappeared and then reappeared in a matter of seconds, and my tumble from the heavens had resulted in a mild concussion and a badly bruised ribcage (landed on a rock, ouuuccchhh!). but i never saw those friends much after that. school became a place of awkward silences and oggling stares. my grades in some classes dropped drastically, apparently certain teachers couldnt accept my work anymore. that summer my father announced that we were moving. it wasnt because of me he said, but that he had gotten a better job offer in the states. the united states of america.
so that was how i ended up in new york city. land of the freaks, where you couldnt possibly stand out. being from a small town in eastern ontario, new york city soon became the most hated place i had ever been to. there were no trails, central park was a natural joke, and at night the sky was never black, nor blue, but a freakish sort of hazy red-yellow. and the people, my god they were everywhere, like rats they were! i couldnt find a hole in the ground that hadnt previously or still was occupied by another person. i soon fell into something of a depression, which lifted only on our weekend trips to the countryside. saddened by my melancholy state, my parents decided to seek help. i was of the mind that nobody could help me, and was well on my way to "helping" myself.
now let me be clear about one thing, i've never seriously considered suicide. as a young teen i played with the notion as most everybody does, for death at that age holds a dark mystery that few ever get close to, but to actually kill myself never crossed my mind. such an act would be blasphemy, treasonous, selfish and disgusting. it was not something i could ever do, or ever understand other people doing. part of me says that i've never been in a bad enough situation then, and i wont disagree. but suffice it to say that my parents biggest fear was entirely unfounded.
what i was going to help myself with, though, were my powers. they had manifested themselves a couple more times after that first incident, harrowing, nasty experiences they all were. but it was also my release. when i was the wind no one could catch me. i was a song that could run free forever ... not to be corny, but i was an unchained melody. so i decided that i had to gain mastery over the wind. not an easy task to do.
it began as a discovery process. i had to know exactly what i could do before i could get better at it. turns out i really do become the wind. i can control air currents when i am in the windy state, as well as carry scents and sounds great distances, without them dissipating.
the first time my powers expressed themselves was the most terrifying moment of my life. i was about thirteen. me and a couple of friends had taken over a swingset at the local park and were rehashing kiddie times of who could jump off the highest. as i reached the peak of my swing's arc, the air rushing past my face, my friends laughter ringing in my ears, i felt as though i had never been more at ease in my life. the excitement of my upcoming daring leap making my blood run madly through my veins, i let go of the chains ... but never hit the ground. instead i felt like the wind itself was rushing through me, pushing and pulling in eddies and updrafts and powerful currents. i looked at the ground, then at my hands ... which were no longer there ... in fact none of my body was to be seen ... hell, i didnt even know how i could be seeing, since i apparently no longer had eyes. i was the wind and it frightened me. frightened me so badly that my heart lurched to a halt and my body suddenly reappeared. unfortunately we were nowhere near the ground.
when i finally came to my friends were once again by my side. only instead of carefree laughter, there was fear in their eyes. and not just fear for me, but fear of me. that hurt. a lot. i had apparently disappeared and then reappeared in a matter of seconds, and my tumble from the heavens had resulted in a mild concussion and a badly bruised ribcage (landed on a rock, ouuuccchhh!). but i never saw those friends much after that. school became a place of awkward silences and oggling stares. my grades in some classes dropped drastically, apparently certain teachers couldnt accept my work anymore. that summer my father announced that we were moving. it wasnt because of me he said, but that he had gotten a better job offer in the states. the united states of america.
so that was how i ended up in new york city. land of the freaks, where you couldnt possibly stand out. being from a small town in eastern ontario, new york city soon became the most hated place i had ever been to. there were no trails, central park was a natural joke, and at night the sky was never black, nor blue, but a freakish sort of hazy red-yellow. and the people, my god they were everywhere, like rats they were! i couldnt find a hole in the ground that hadnt previously or still was occupied by another person. i soon fell into something of a depression, which lifted only on our weekend trips to the countryside. saddened by my melancholy state, my parents decided to seek help. i was of the mind that nobody could help me, and was well on my way to "helping" myself.
now let me be clear about one thing, i've never seriously considered suicide. as a young teen i played with the notion as most everybody does, for death at that age holds a dark mystery that few ever get close to, but to actually kill myself never crossed my mind. such an act would be blasphemy, treasonous, selfish and disgusting. it was not something i could ever do, or ever understand other people doing. part of me says that i've never been in a bad enough situation then, and i wont disagree. but suffice it to say that my parents biggest fear was entirely unfounded.
what i was going to help myself with, though, were my powers. they had manifested themselves a couple more times after that first incident, harrowing, nasty experiences they all were. but it was also my release. when i was the wind no one could catch me. i was a song that could run free forever ... not to be corny, but i was an unchained melody. so i decided that i had to gain mastery over the wind. not an easy task to do.
it began as a discovery process. i had to know exactly what i could do before i could get better at it. turns out i really do become the wind. i can control air currents when i am in the windy state, as well as carry scents and sounds great distances, without them dissipating.