Bellas pov

It has been almost a whole year since Ed arghmy stomach i mean deep breath they left. I am such a mess but i have made a packed with myself that its going to be a fresh start starting today since today is September the 13th and today was the date last year where things started to go wrong and i had promised myself this year would be different. New age, new start, new me completely. I just had to keep telling myself that.

I looked at the clock it said ten to eight i had to start heading down to la push soon other wise i would be late. My best friend Jacob and his pack had organised a nineteenth birthday party for me which i wasn't to keen on but they had been good to me i couldn't just through it in their face could i and anyway i thought this would be the beat place to start the new me.

When i arrived it looked as if the party had already started it was at Kim's house Jared's girlfriend well much more then that she was his imprint. I parked my truck along the road outside the house and started climbing throughthe crowds the whole front yard was covered with people none i new. When i got in to the house it was just as full having to squeeze past people until i sure someone i new and literally through myself in their direction.

"Hi" i said, pantingout of breath.

"Hi Bells at last we've been waiting for you" Kim said, smiling she was my best girlie friend i had. "Bella by the way you look really nice" she said, looking my outfit up and down and i new why i never wore anything like this and Ed argh my stomach i mean he would not approve. I was wearing tight denim hot pants which barleycovered anything and a cream silk night top with black lace but it didn't look like a night top. I was starting to feel a little self conscious now realising that my top was slightly sea-through. New me new Bella this is what new Bella's like.

Me and Kim started dancing and having a few drinks i had to keep reminding myself of my little pack but it was okay i was okay. The continued like that me dancing with nearly everyone Jacob, Sam and loads of other people. I also had a few comments about my outfit people saying it really suited and really didn't look like me but i liked it not having to think about Ed argh my stomach i grabbed on tight as the pain shoot through me crippling me. Stupid Bella i thought panting making my way outside for some fresh air. That's when i saw Collin and Brady who where in Jacobs pack.

"Hi" i said, making my way over to the wall they where both perched on having a cig and chatting away to one another.

"Oh hi Bell's WOW Bella you look amazing" Collin said, with his jaw still hanging open it made me giggle a little i have never had that impression on guys before.

"Bell's you look so so hot" Brandy said, while keeping his eyes locked on my body.

"So Bella's what you up to? Do you want to stay out hear with us." Collin asked, his face look pleading with his eyes. I thought straight away no no no big no but then i hared his voice in my head his velvet voice so soft and gentle and even more so when he was cross "Bella go inside this instant no good will come of this do you hear me" he said, almost growling but to me it was the most soothing sound their could be and with that i had made up my mind.

"Yer i would love to" i said, to Collin batting my eye lashes for added effect. It worked because both of then had big grins plastered across their face.

After that we just talked about different things and when they had offered me a cig i was about to decline the offer when i heard his voice which made me more eager to do the things he said no to. It made me feel like a naughty child in a way doing the exact opposite their parents tell them. I was cuddled up to Collin he had his arms wrapped around my waist and his hands resting on my arse when he had made the move i had felt guilty straight away but then i thought he probably would not even remember to night the amount he had been drinking i had lost count.

"Bella i was wonderingto you want to go dance" he asked, and with that he had taken my hand and staggered towards the backdoor heading for the living room. At first i thought the only reason he was holding me was to steady himself untilhe leaned his head towards mine and then locked his mouth on to mine gently. I put my hands on to his chestto push him away then i notice the the hard muscular body my hands were touching and changed my mind quickly and started to react to the mouth moving on top of mine.

Once our mouths where unlocked again both taking a gasp of air a sudden rush came over me out of nowhere. I grabbed Collins arm and started dragging him down Kim's hallway in search i continued dragging him along untili found what i was looking for. With that i push his muscular chest with my hands and a big grin entered his russetcoloured skin. I new then we where both on the same page thank god.

With that all Collin mumbled was "Really" and i didn't even reply not with words at least and then our mouths became locked once again. Pushing our bodies closer to each other Collin shut the door with his leg and then that was that. All the time his hands where touching my body all i could think of was Ed argh my stomach i flinched back but Collin didn't even realise. The only person i could think about was not the persons who's hands where all over me. The only voice i could hear all night was his screaming, shouting, growling in his wonderful velvet voice and because of this voice it made me more determined to carry on with Collin. All the while these thoughts where going through my head, Collin never even notice his hands against my body pulling me towards the bed and lifting me with ease. He then mumbled something into my ear even though i did not hear i just nodded with that he was gone then came back with a huge grin on his face then i had a feeling what i had just agreed to and with that i hared Edwards velvet voice scream "NO." Then i made my mind up.

The next morning i was woke up my the wrong angles the sun was shinning in from. Then my head started rushing every thing started to haze in things that i had completely forgotten about. Then i just gasped realising i was not in a bed on my on. Then i felt his snores come to a stuttering stop then his huge man like hands rub up from the bottom of my leg brushing all the way up to the top of my thighs then he moved his body so his face was boring in to mine his huge black eyes staring at me. Then his face had a huge smile dance upon it.

Then i thought to myself although it sounds sick and twisted and i would never tell anybody this because they would think i was mental which i probablywas hearing voices or voice. I think me and Collin where some what happy both been used me using him for the reaction i got by well you no who even if it was just in my head and then Collin using me well for my body i think even though he could probablyany girl he wanted just with the click of his finger's any of the boys in the pack could. The pack, it hit me the pack Jared, Sam, Jacob oh my god Jacob what was he going to say what was he going to think i new then i had to tell him before Collin phased.

"Collin, Collin are you a wake" i asked, trying to make my voice sound as calm as possible.

"Hi sexy last night was am" he said, but i cut him of before he could finish.

"Yes i know" i agreed not wanting to hurt his feeling's "But Collin what about when you phase your thoughts. What are we going to do" i babbled.

"Oh" Collin said, looking as worried as i felt.

"So" i prompted.

"I think its best if we let them know first instead of then just images from my mind and boy where they good images" he said, smiling i just held back a shiver and just nodded in agreement and started to get out of bed fumbling for my clothes trying not to show any skin for Collin to start drooling over again like a big dog.

Once we where both decent we snook out of the room trying to avoid anyone. Then we made our way to Emily's where we new everyone would be having breakfast. When we got to the door my hands where shaking then i felt them been cradled my Collin huge masculine hands and i didn't feel comforted but flt some what a little more at ease. Once we entered then small house we saw everyone there all around the table eating what looked like eggs while Emily was at the stove. I then felt every ones eyes zero into mine and Collins hands. Out of nowhere a chair flew up in to the air only then did i realise the chair belonged to Jacob who was now just standing inches away from my face his whole body frame quiveringthen his body bolted for the door and so did Collin's. My whole body wanted to run after them both screaming "No" but some how my feet stayed supper glued to the floor even though i new what would happen someone would get hurt either my best friend or my new lover.