When He Says 'I Love You'
By Jenevieve
Summary: Just a bit of fluff. After all they've been through, John and Natalie spend some quiet time together and finally decide to take their growing relationship to the next level. A sequel to my other fan fic: Musings of the McBain Kind.
Rating: R for sexual situations
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own any of the characters. They are all the wonderful creations of Agnes Nixon and the writers of One Life to Live, and I am only taking advantage of my love of the show to play with them for a little while.
Spoilers: Follows the current storyline of the developing relationship between John McBain and Natalie Vega after Natalie was saved from Hayes Barber. The story follows the basic direction of the storyline (specifically the episode of August 30, 2005) but it is completely my own creation building off of hints gleaned from the show up until this point.
A/N: Lyrics used in this fan fiction are from Ben Fold's song "The Luckiest" which also lends its name to this fan fic.
I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know
That I am
I am, I am
The luckiest
----
She awoke slowly, warm beams of sunlight causing her to stir. The call of morning whispering to her as she stretched lazily her eyes still pressed tightly together. With a flutter of lashes her eyes opened and she stared up at the beige colored ceiling above her. For a split second she panicked, the unfamiliar ceiling transforming into the cold damp darkness of the pit she had been trapped in for the past few weeks, but the fear popped, as her mind recognized the bare but cozy surroundings of John's bedroom.
Smiling she propped herself up on her elbows, the blanket that had been draped over her shoulders slipping down to her waist, revealing her half naked chest. She really was in John's apartment lying on John's bed. Memories of the night before rushed in around her and she smiled wider. They were really going to give it a try. Finally after so much heartache, so many missed chances they were going to have a shot, and the thought almost made her dizzy with joy. But where was John…
As if on cue, she heard his front door open and moments later he came into view wearing a black tank top and jeans, holding a brown paper bag and two Styrofoam cups of what she could only guess was coffee by the smell of it.
"Morning," he smiled down at her, as he placed the bag and cups down on the bed side table and sat down beside her.
"Morning yourself," she smiled as he leaned down and kissed her. "Was starting to wonder I had dreamt last night."
"Figured you might be hungry," he replied, one hand gently rubbing the side of her face as his eyes moved over her.
"Good guess," she teased pulling him into a passionate kiss and back down onto the bed on top of her.
Their kiss deepened, John's hands lost in her hair, his body pressing her into the soft comfort of the mattress beneath him when suddenly…
growl
Natalie's stomach erupted in a series of deep hungry growls. With a chuckled John sat back up, pulling her up beside him.
"Sorry," she mumbled slightly embarrassed.
"Don't worry about it," he smiled again unable to stifle another laugh.
"So what do we have?" She reached across him, changing the subject. "Ah yes, the hardworking detective's best friend - fried egg sandwiches…"
"With bacon," he added.
"You know me all too well," she smiled, pulling out the two paper wrapped sandwiches.
They ate in a comfortable silence for a few moments.
"So I imagine you have quite a bit of paperwork to get through today," she mumbled between bites.
"Not too much," he nodded taking a long drink from his cup. "I was wondering…"
"Yes?" she grinned looking at him expectantly.
"Would you want to do dinner tonight?"
"Hmm, got to check that busy schedule of mine," she teased pretending to pick up a date book beside her on the bed and flip through it. "Hmm, Wednesday, Wednesday. Well McBain it looks like you're in luck. It says right here we already have dinner plans so looks like you're a bit behind on this one."
He chuckled softly again and she laughed openly. It felt good to laugh together, a simple prospect that seemed like it would never happen again only a few days earlier. The warmth of it wasn't lost on either of them, and again John reached out to stroke her cheek. A shadow passed slowly across his face.
"John, what is it?" Concern filled Natalie's bright eyes, her own finger tips reaching out to touch his jaw, the crumbled wrapper of her now eaten sandwich sitting in her lap.
Part of him wanted to try again - try and tell her about Cristian but she had made her choice last night, so why did it still bite at him? She had chosen him, but did she really truly believe Cris could still alive because if there was any question…oh hell, he didn't want to lose her again.
"I just…"
"Is it Cris again?" She pressed gently.
He nodded.
"Do you really want me to look at the file?"
He paused, his eyes falling into hers. Did he really want her to? Yes and no…which was the right thing to do?
"If I ever lost you…this world wouldn't be the same without you in it. I realized that, while you were gone, I realized a lot of stuff." His voice was soft and low, his eyes shifting from her eyes to her face.
"Like you said John, I'm not going anywhere. I want you whether Cris is still alive or not. But I'll tell you what, I'll take the file and read it later alright?"
"Yeah, later," he nodded.
Standing up Natalie retrieved her shirt and pulled it on. "I should probably head home, but tonight?"
"Yeah, tonight." He replied as she scooped up the file and the rest of her things before heading towards the door. He held the door open for her as she stepped out into the hallway.
"Thank you," she smiled turning back to face him. "For last night. It felt good to not be alone. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet, at least not in the dark."
Again he reached forward, moving a strand of thick red hair from her face. "Yeah, it was nice."
"And about us and me backing out like that…"
But he put up a hand stopping her. "Like I said last night, I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to prove anything to me, ok? Let's do this right."
"Yeah," she smiled shyly as he leaned forward and kissed her, pulling her back into his arms. Again their kiss deepened and he tasted her, sweet and fiery.
"Well, I should probably go," she whispered when they finally parted. "Or you may never make it into the station." She added the last part with a mischievous smile and they both enjoyed a quiet laugh. "See you tonight, John."
-----
The rest of the day had passed quietly for Natalie. She'd had lunch with Roxie and Rex - if anything the events of the passed few weeks had brought the Bolson family closer together which she welcomed with open arms. After lunch she had enjoyed a quiet walk through the park on her way home. It was amazing how nearly dying had opened her eyes to the littlest things, the smallest pleasures, from the warmth of the sun, to the cool breeze that blew through her hair, to the unexpected surprise of running into Michael McBain.
"Hey there, kid?" Michael smiled warmly glancing up from the file of papers he'd been seating on the park bench shifting through. "How's that ankle of yours feeling?"
"Not too bad, doc," she smiled down at him. "Hurts a little but it's healing."
"I bet it is," he smile broadened as he moved over to make room for her to sit down beside him. "You're glowing."
"Am I?" Her eyes danced. "Guess you have to blame your brother for that one."
At the mention of John Michael's eyes darkened slightly. "You know, Nat…"
"Look, while I appreciate that you have single handedly taken on the role of your brother's keeper, you don't have to worry about John and me, ok? Really. We're taking our time. We both want to make this work, Michael, really."
His eyes softened some. "As long as you're careful. God knows I love my brother but he has a tendency of making train wrecks of the lives of those he gets involved with."
"I promise I'll be careful," she smiled touching his hand gently. "Besides, if I survived being nearly buried alive in a pit by a psycho-killer, I think I can survive one McBain. Two of you, that I don't know, but just one…I think I'll be alright."
Michael chuckled slightly, a brighter laugh than John's but similar just the same, and Natalie giggled with him.
"So what exactly is all this?" She lifted up the pile of papers in his lap.
"Just a case study I have to present today," he sighed wearily.
"Don't tell me the great Michael McBain is nervous?" Natalie feigned surprise. "Really, Mike, like you have anything to worry about. I mean you patched me up just fine."
Her words made him smile, and he nodded with a shake of his head, "And you were one stubborn pain in the ass to care for too. Always trying to get out of that bed."
Natalie grinned broadly, giving him a playful punch in the arm. "A girl's got to have a job, and keeping you McBain boys on your toes seems to be mine."
"Guess so," Michael laughed as he got to his feet. "Well I got to get back over to the hospital. It's good to see you doing well, kid." Impulsively he leaned over and gave Natalie a big hug.
"Good luck, you big softy!" Natalie waved as she watched Michael head off.
-----
Five o'clock rolled around and John still sat behind his desk behind a pile of work, his eyes staring off into space, his mind a million miles away lost among the soft red strands of Natalie's hair.
"Yo, John!" The form of his younger brother stood before him, waving a hand before his eyes.
"What do you want, Mike?" John shook his head, pushing himself to his feet and starting to shuffle though the stack of files that sat on top of his keyboard.
"I've been calling your name for awhile now. Where exactly were you, bro?" Michael's eyes sparkled with interest.
"Just thinking," John mumbled transferring a handful of files to the top drawer of the file cabinet beside his desk.
"Wouldn't happen to be about a red head about yah high?" Michael pressed taking pleasure in watching his brother squirm slightly.
John didn't answer.
"Look man, I know. I ran into Natalie earlier today. The girl is about to burst she's so happy."
John still remained silent.
"So, what exactly are you going to do about that?"
"What exactly do you want from me, Mike?" John turned to face his brother. "If you want to know if Natalie and I are together, than yes, we are. If you're afraid I'm going to do something to mess that up…well I'm not planning on doing that. We're taking it easy, alright."
"Alright, alright," Michael smiled putting up his hands in mock defense. "Just was worried about my big bro is all." Silence passed between them. "Though I got to say it's good to see her so happy…"
"Yeah," John replied quietly his eyes staring off, a smile crossing his face.
"Wait, was that a smile? Did my brother just smile?" Michael strode forward.
"Mike, shut up!" John smiled again.
"Way to go Natalie," Michael grinned.
-----
Dinner was more than Natalie could have hoped for. John had shown up at her house with a picnic basket filled with two Rodi's cheeseburgers and fries and a six pack of beer. With her mother in England, Kelly off with Kevin, and Jessica off taking some time for herself the pair had the house to themselves. The only downside, a large thunderstorm that knocked out the power and prevented them from enjoying a nice sunset lit meal. But they weren't about to let that stop them, and so they had relocated their picnic to the floor of Natalie's bedroom surrounded by candle light.
"Sorry we couldn't do this right," John whispered into her hair as she rested against his chest, their backs pressed into the footboard of her bed.
"Nah, this was even better," Natalie replied lazily, her eyes moving over the empty plates and beer bottles stacked against the picnic basket in the middle of the blanket before them. She snuggled closer into John's embrace. "In fact, it's perfect, John, thank you."
Reaching up she tilted his face down towards hers and kissed him chastely on the lips. Pulling back she looked up into his eyes. "I love you, John."
The fingers of his left hand were tangled in her hair, cupping the back of her head, the fingers of his right hand stroking the sides of her face, her chin resting in his palm. His eyes moved over her face, soft and angelic in the candle light.
"You don't have to say anything," she added softly. "I don't expect you to…"
"Will you shut up," he smiled, pulling her roughly to him and kissing her passionately. Her body molded easily to his chest, a perfect fit, her fingers moving through his hair.
With hearts racing, still kissing, they got to their feet, desire burning both of them. They broke apart momentarily as John removed Natalie's shirt and she in turn unbuttoned and slid of the black silk button down shirt he wore. His fingers slid over the smooth skin of her shoulders as his lips found her neck, moving along the elegant curve until his tongue found the rapid beating of her pulse. Pressing down hard with his lips on the spot where her neck met her shoulders he sucked on her pulse feeling her gasp and shudder against his chest. Delicately he undid the back of her bra, sliding it down her arms, before returning to her waist and undoing the buttons on her pants. Pulling her head back, she sought out his lips again, as her own fingers fumbled with his pants.
"John," she gasped her naked body pressed against his own as he lifted her gently onto the cool sheets of her bed. For a moment he lay on top of her looking down into her eyes, their hearts racing, both of them anticipating the rush.
"I love you, John," she whispered again as he moved into her and they began to rock back and forth in unison. John braced himself above her on his elbows, his eyes staring straight back into her own. They said nothing, their eyes watching waves of pleasure washing over the other one's faces faint moans escaping unchecked from their lips. They took it slow and tender their first time. After all they had agreed to go slowly - there would be time for hot unbridled sex later - but for now, now taking it slow felt right…so right.
He cried out as the rush overtook him, the pace speeding up until Natalie too cried out in ecstasy. As the body rush subsided they lay quietly in each other's arms, lost among the dark depths of each other's eyes.
Leaning forward Natalie kissed John gently on the lips. "That was fun," she smiled, her eyes half opened.
"Yeah, it was," he smiled back kissing her on the forehead. Reaching forward he brushed some hair from her face, his fingers tracing a bead of sweat that ran down the side of her face. She seemed to glow in the candle light and he took a secret satisfaction in the knowledge that he had caused that.
"We need to do this again," she sighed sleepily.
"Yeah," he chuckled, and without a second thought he pulled her close and kissed her deeply.
"What was that for?" Natalie grinned, far from sleepy now. "Not that I'm complaining."
"It's just…" his eyes stared into hers. "I…"
"John," she said softly, her tone gentle.
"I love you," he finished. Reaching forward he caressed the side of her face again. "I love you, Natalie."
Tears sprung up into Natalie's eyes and she leaned forward kissing him gently, her lips trembling slightly as she whispered softly. "I know, but thanks for saying it. That means a lot."
"Felt pretty good to say it too," he whispered back with a smile, as he kissed her again, and then pulled her close.
Natalie sighed happily her head resting on the warm skin of John's chest. "I really think this can work, John, you and me."
"Me too," John replied softly as the two of them drifted off into restful sleep.
Fin.
©2005
Ok, that's it. Hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to leave feedback (only way I'll get better) at divine. (just put some note in the title so I won't mistake it for Spam ).