Of Busses and Hummers

By Sarah and Bethany

Covered Round Robin (Meaning we could only see the last few words of what the other person wrote)

Italics are Sarah; normal is Bethany

Once, Jesus was walking along, when he saw Mary eating a cream puff. He grabbed it, peered at it intently, then chucked it behind him. "Thought you were watching your calories?!"

"Stop the bus!" shrieked Judas. The bus came to an abrupt halt. Judas flew through the windshield. Then, after picking himself up, he went looking for a Dunkin Donut. He found a talking one at a local bakery, and promptly left because that's just freaky.

Meanwhile, Judas and Jesus were still strapped to the top of the out of control bus. The bus ran into a brick wall and Judas died, but Jesus brought him back to life. Judas was never really the same after that incident. He developed a fascination with flowers. Every time he saw a flowerbed, he had to either roll in it or do the hula. He chose to do the hula, surprisingly, so they decked him out in drag and cranked up the Hawaiian music.

"Oh no!" said Jesus. "I can't have Judas obsessed with flowers, Hawaii, and hula dancers! It'll ruin my plan. I have to delay him; I have to distract him! Hmm… Hmm… Ding, ding, ding!"

"It's the old teapot!" cried Judas. "Smash him!"

"Oh, thank-you for quoting Thomas and the Magic Railroad!" said Simon sarcastically.

The bus shot off the edge of a 1,000-foot high cliff.

"Good grief! What's with all the busses?" questioned Jesus.

"What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening!" said Simon.

"Stop saying that!!" ordered Jesus.

"Sorry," said Simon.

"Ahhhhh!" cried Jesus. "That bus was… was… Mary was on the bus!!"

"Stop!" yelled Peter. "No more busses!"

"But…" protested Simon. "He said Mary was on the bus. When it fell."

"I didn't do it. I didn't do it," said Judas.

"Just smile and wave, boys," instructed Jesus. "Just smile and wave."

"AHHHHHH!!" shrieked Simon. "I hate that movie."

Then Jesus went to the bus-lot and bought a nice, new Greyhound bus. Then Mary popped out of Simon's pocket. "Hey, Jesus, down here!" she called.

"Aahhhhhhhhhhhh!!" screamed Jesus.

"Whoo, my ears!" complained Simon. "Warn me next time you decide to scream a high-G!"

"Timber!" yelled Caiaphas and Annas, who were cutting firewood in the forest. A tremendous pine landed on Peter's toe.

"Jesus Christ!" screamed Peter.

"What?!" questioned Jesus, running up behind him.

"It's a…" began Caiaphas.

"A fee!" said Annas.

"A fee, nothing more!" finished Caiaphas.

"There he is! Get him!" yelled a nearby fan-girl.

"Oh no!" cried Jesus. "Not again!"

He was mobbed and his sandals confiscated by the fan-girls, who sold them on eBay for $1,000,000.

Suddenly, Jesus' nice, new bus, being driven by a crazed Simon Zealotes, spun a cookie on black ice and shot off another 1,000-foot high cliff. Then, Simon jumped out the front windshield and deployed his parachute, which he always carried with him, conveniently enough. He floated down to the bottom of the canyon. "I'm lost!" he yelled.

Jesus came running. "You destroyed my brand-new bus, Simon!" he yelled. "That's almost up there with the Unforgivable Sin!! Well, what have you got to say for yourself?!"

"Di-dee-di, di-dee-di!" sang Simon.

"What are you singing?" questioned Jesus.

"Yeah," answered Simon. "Nice, wasn't it?"

The next day, Jesus purchased a fully-loaded hummer.

"Yeah, this is more like it!" he said, as he drove to the Dollar Tree

"Aha!" cried Judas from the backseat. "There's a leprechaun!"

"Yeah, right!" laughed Jesus.

"No, really!" insisted Judas. "Look!"

"Where?" asked Jesus. As he turned to look, an enviro drove by in a hybrid and threw a banana peel out the window. The hummer's front left tire hit the peel and died.

Jesus slammed on the breaks, and Judas, who had flunked driver's training and refused to wear a seatbelt, flew through the windshield and skidded down the icy road 546 feet. Jesus put it in park and went to do CPR on an unconscious Judas.

The enviro laughed and drove away.

"Oh, go hug a tree!" yelled Jesus.

Suddenly, Simon drove up in an old army jeep and jumped out.

"Oh man!!" Simon yelled when he saw Judas lying there very still.

"Yeah, I know," said Jesus, still doing CPR.

"By the way," said Simon, "did you just see Al Gore drive by throwin' out fruit?!"

The End