Love is for fools: Being as I'm an angst writer I felt compelled to write this after reading a book of short stories by Poppyz Brite and listening to Saliva's "Famous Monsters", so go read and listen to, but not until you've read this. (Insert smiley face here.)
Standard disclaimer applies.
Warning: Contains flashbacks of death, an obvious A.U., O.C.C.ness, a smidgin of slash and lots of dark angst.
Please read and review.
Enjoy!
xxxxxXxxxxx
It was strange, these looks he was getting. The people would stop right where they were to stare at him, their eyes wide and their bodies incredibly still as though they were shocked or perhaps scared stiff. But, when he finished passing them by he saw in the corner of his eye as they came back to life and acted as if he hadn't ever been there. Everyone seemed scared, especially the civilian adults, the people that could move (mostly those with some previous training) gripped their children to their trembling chests like at any moment he might steal one of them for his dinner. He'd seen these eyes often, though none had ever been directed at him and always with more hatred and less fear.
He found his way to the bridge where, to his surprise, a pink-haired girl was waiting. Glancing around he made to ask her a question, but before he could, she beat him to the punch. ". . . I don't know where he is." She glanced away from him with a far off disbelieving expression, paying absolutely no mind to him . . . . . he had been wondering if something was wrong and now he knew something had to be.
Behind him he heard a poof, but it was only Kakashi not the person he was waiting for impatiently. "Finally, Kakashi-sensei you're here." Sakura looked very nervous wringing her hands together in an effort to keep from bolting. The grey-haired man nodded in acknowledgment to her and spoke lowly, "This is our last meeting, as of now team seven is disbanded. You are dismissed." Sakura ran away-- crying.
It was his turn to gape in shock or as much shock as he was willing to show. "Disbanded? Why?" Kakashi's lazy eye turned into a sharp glaring one that basically screamed, 'Are you stupid?' He was incredibly confused, first the looks he was getting, second Sakura ignoring him, and third team seven being disbanded. Then a thought formed in his head. "Where is he?", he asked suspiciously.
"You know exactly where he is." Suddenly, he was angry he didn't know where he was, he didn't know why people froze in fear of him, why Sakura tried to be as far as she could from him in mind and body, or why Kakashi glared at him, he didn't know any of it!
"No," he said slowly, "I don't." He could see under the mask the ironic quirk of his lips. Kakashi replied in a monotone, " Follow me." And, he followed-- followed him to a monument . . . a monument honoring the dead. He still didn't understand, but then he spotted a certain name one it, his knees gave out and he almost couldn't catch himself.
"How?" His voice croaked and it was obvious that he was barely holding back a torrent. Kakashi glanced down nonchalantly before answering. "You know that, too.."
And, creepily sudden his voice became one of sorrow, for who didn't know. He was beginning to realize he didn't know a lot of things.
"You were always prideful, always trying to better yourself. You just had to let your jealousy overcome you and give in to that monster, just for power. Now, where are you? You've lost the only person who may have ever really cared for you, the only thing you have left is your pride. And, even that has let you down." He paused, letting out a sigh. "At least the people have to no longer fear you turning traitor anymore, you won't survive that long. I can see you're already dying from the pain."
He was stricken, he remembered. He knew; he know longer wished to either. Kakashi was gone, and he was left alone to pray. To pray that it hadn't– that he hadn't. To pray for a miracle. That this was only a dream. No . . . not dream-- nightmare, horrifying painful despairing nightmare.
The images came and he chocked back the bile, tears flowing down his face.
His face. The image of him sleeping in exhaustion was beautiful because the boy's face was peaceful and his mouth not making noise. His eyelashes laid gently upon his cheeks, and his hair around him created an angelic halo. Then his hand was plunging through the boy's chest and closing around his heart, he couldn't be allowed to live, he was a threat. The boy awoke quickly because of the pain, his hand shot out, but never quite reaching, his eyes asking why before dying out just as soon.. And, what gorgeous eyes they were he noticed as he closed them softly.
He was sobbing his prayers where now pleas of despair. He had killed him, at his weakest moment, he had taken advantage of him. The people may no longer had anything to fear from the boy, but the monster who was capable of killing the boy was something entirely different to fear, he had no quandary about turning his back on anyone of them, he was a monster after all.
. . . .He was a monster, a monster who had taken someone's noose and gladly tied it around his own neck ruining his life. He struggled to stand up.
It was all his fault . . . .
And he was going to make sure he paid for it in blood. He stumbled away from the stone. But, he looked back at it as a reminder of his crimes before going to write his own death note.
Newly carved it read:
Uzumaki Naruto
xxxxxXxxxxx
Love: Tell me, was it obvious from the very beginning who it was about? And, what do you think of my title? Originally, it was going to be 'Denial: The Savior", but I loved the way it made you possibly think of the above and 'savoring the denial'.