The Kid's Not Mine
A/N: This is a short one-shot featuring Chu and Rinku, which may be read before or after another story of mine, Officer, I'm Telling You I'm Not A Little Kid. However, the other story did kinda set the prompt for this one. Anyhow...
Disclaimer: Before I forget, I might as well add that I do not own any part of Yu Yu Hakusho, including any characters.
"Hey, Chu, there's a guy following us. I think he's a cop." Rinku said quietly, looking up at his very drunk comrade and tugging on the hem of his shirt. Chu glanced over his shoulder, seeing the guy Rinku mentioned as he wandered under the streetlight they had just passed. He stopped walking and turned around.
"Hey! Whatta ya want mate?" Chu called out, words heavily slurred. Rinku slapped a hand over his own face.
'I should've known he would do that.' the small demon child thought, turning around to watch the exchange between the two men.
"Sir, have you been drinking?" the cop asked, looking at the bottle of booze in Chu's grip. Chu snorted through his nose.
"'course I've been drinking, mate. Can't ya tell?"
"Well, sir, you do seem pretty intoxicated." the cop said, having difficulty keeping eye contact with the drunken Aussie as Chu stumbled his way forward towards him. The smaller male shivered when Chu stood before him.
'Holy crap this guy is huge.' the officer thought. "S-sir, could you take a step back? I'm not comfortable with you standing this close."
'Heh, must be a new guy if he's admitting that crap. How lame.' Rinku thought, smirking. Humans were entirely too easy to frighten.
Chu leaned down so that his face was close to the cop's, opening his mouth to say something. Unfortunately for the officer, what came out was a rather loud burp which he felt he himself could have gotten intoxicated off of. Chu laughed, slapping a hand on his knee.
"'cuse me, mate. Dunno where that one came from. So as I was saying, what seems to be the problem? So I've been drinking. Doesn't everyone now and then? 'Sides, we're just taking a stroll. Ain't we allowed to take a stroll?"
"Y-yes, sir. However, we do believe drinking should be done at a bar or at your home."
"That so? Well I guess we've been out long 'nough... Still don't see why ya gotta put a stopper on our fun an' all. But, rules is rules, ain't they bludger?" Chu said, first playfully elbowing the officer in the ribcage and then throwing the arm clutching the booze over the guy's shoulder. "'less ya wanna party with us?"
"Ah, I'm afraid I can't do that sir. But, by "party with us", did you mean that young child too?"
"Rinku o'er there? 'course! Can't keep my lil' buddy from enjoying himself too."
"You're "little buddy"? Are you the boy's father?" the cop inquired, pulling out from under Chu's arm. Chu laughed again.
"No, no! No kid's myself, mate. The kid's not mine."
"So then he's your nephew?"
"Nah, no brothers or sisters."
"So who's child is he?" the cop asked.
"Dunno, mate. Just found him in the street, few years back."
"You just- But you have been raising this child?"
"Yep!" The officer looked completely dumbfounded.
"Say, yer looking a fair sight paler, mate. Something the matter?
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to release the child into the state's custody." the cop said, pulling his badge out. Chu suddenly became quite serious.
"An' why's that?"
"Sir, you clearly cannot take care of yourself if you're drowning yourself in booze. Will you release the child-"
"His name's Rinku." Chu interrupted. The cop sighed.
"Will you release Rinku into the state's custody?"
"Now lookie here... Rinku! This bloke's saying I can't take care of ya anymore! Whatta ya say 'bout that?"
"I say that's really lame, Chu." Rinku said, running to stand beside his companion and look at the cop up close. The cop couldn't have gotten a good look at either one of them in the dark alley.
"See? Boy doesn't wanna go with ya."
"Sir, he's a child. Children need loving homes with loving families who will take care of them and not neglect them. I don't believe that you can create that environment for little Rinku here."
"Why? 'cause I drink a bit of booze?"
"Sir, you've had more than a little bit of booze. A lot more. Now please, let me take the kid- ugh!"
The officer fell to the ground unconscious, bits of glass scattered around him. Chu looked at the neck of the broken bottle in his hand, then back to the cop, and finally back to the broken bottle.
"Well, mate, ya made me waste a fine bit of drink. Rinku's not my son now, but don't ya think that I can't take care of him. Stupid bludger."
"Uh, Chu, I think we better leave. Like, leave the state."
"Huh? Ah, yeah, yeah. What with the cops are gonna be looking for us when this guy wakes up an' all. All right." Chu started stumbling his way towards a train station the two weren't far from, Rinku in tow.
"Say, Rinku?"
"Hm?"
"Ya ever want that kind of family?"
"The humans can have that lovey-dovey sappy... stuff. I've got the best family a demon kid could want." Rinku said, blushing a bit. It took him a moment to realize that the alcohol had finally overcome Chu, and that his large comrade had passed out steps behind. Rinku sighed.
"You big knucklehead. You're supposed to stay awake long enough for me to say that cute stuff. Maybe I should go with the cop guy, just to teach you a lesson."