In the name of Green

Chapter one

Disclaimer: I do not own IZ sadly. But I do own Nyxa.

Enjoy.

"So, Dib, how has your day been so far?" The therapist asked as soon as Dib was settles on the sofa-thing.

Dib shrugged. He hated these morning therapy session, and he made it quite clear too. But did anyone listen? Noooo. When he had been called down to the cheery, stupid vice-principal's office three weeks ago he thought he'd done something wrong and get suspended. Huh. He would much rather have the damn suspension over these ridiculous meetings.

"Uh-huh." commented the greasy-haired therapist, Mr. Dweeb (seriously that was his name). Dib despised the man for many reasons. One, he dressed like it was the 1980s with the shirts that dipped so low Dib could see his gray chest hair poking out (shivers) and, dare he say it, bright orange leggings that were so tight, Dib would put them under the spandex category. At least, that was his outfit today. Dib shuddered and fought back the rancid bile that threatened to overflow.

"…any trouble?" Dib shook his head, trying desperately to erase the images of Mr. Dweeb. "I'm sorry, what?"

Mr. Dweeb looked at his clipboard. "I asked if you were having any trouble lately?"

Well, just the fact that Zim's dog/robot Gir kept annoying the crap out of him, Zim was still embarrassing him at school, Zim kept insisting he was human, Dib kept insisting he was an alien, they fought, and CeCe Garcia would still not except the fact that he had a crush on her. "No, sir." Dib responded.

They sat there for a few minutes in silence. Then Dweeb said, "So, how is this Zim person doing?"

"Zim is Zim." Dib muttered.

"And how do you feel about that?"

Dib glared at Dweeb. "I don't know. Angry, I guess?"

"Why?"

"I don't know!"

"And how do you feel about not knowing?"

"What?"

"And how do you feel about that?"

Dib looked at the therapist, confused. Why the hell did this guy keep asking 'And how do you feel about that'? Probably to just keep the conversation so he can get his damn money.

"Dib."

Dib scowled. "WHAT?"

"You did not answer my question."

"ARG!"

"Do we be pirates, lad?"

"What?"

"AHOY MATEY!"

"Right…" Dib started scooting to the edge of the couch.

Dweeb looked joyful. "I been always wantin to sail the seven seas, my boy. I've always wanted to steal some booty!"

Didn't he already do that with his 13 divorced wives and his current girlfriend? Dib wondered.

"Ah, indeed, lad. Plunderin for gold and silvers!" Dweeb looked lost in thought.

"Okaaaaay….well, I'm just gonna-" Dib sprang to his feet and raced out of the room leaving Mr. Dweeb behind with his weird, messed up fantasies.

Dib trudged through the door of his house and saw Gaz sitting on the sofa playing her Game Slave.

"Zim called." She shouted from where she was.

"What?"

"Well, actually the green idiot stopped by to tell you that he wanted to talk."

"…Odd."

"Well, what he really said was that he had something REALLY important to tell you."

"And what was that?"

Gaz paused her game and looked up. Her eyes were actually open and her face was serious as she murmured, "He said he's leaving."

R&R